Let's just face the fact that no nut November won't happen between my legs. Not only does "Mr. Happy" require regular exercise, but he generally winds up with the usual contractions and the accompanying emission.Oooo, sounds exciting to me! Or don't you like excitement, sweetie?
And you should know by know that I absolutely love hearing about blue balls. I'm doing my doctoral dissertation on them. You could be in my personal focus group. It cums with benefits (eventually) I promise!
You don't need to taste like pizza for me to like you like I do.Dear Enjoying Hear Me Beg,
I don't believe in accidents. Except for happy accidents. (and I have the dry cleaning bills to prove it!)
So your resistance to my "best efforts" is your choice. But trust me, you have not begun to see my best efforts - my best efforts don't involve posting on message boards. They involve a much more ... up close and personalized approach!
If being single and being teased were incompatible, married women around the world would have a lot less to do and their lives would be a hell of a lot more boring.
You single guys love the attention we give you even if you don't admit it. So, my advice is just admit it.
If you keep complaining about it we'll stop. We'll all stop. We have a secret communication network you guys don't know about. I can have you blacklisted from any and all flirtation, playful teasing and random hooking up in five minutes. So don't test me. Just take it on your chin (for once lol).
- Doctor "I Want To Taste Like Pizza Later So You'll Like Me Better" Liz
You don't need to taste like pizza for me to like you like I do.
Though you have cleared something up, it's definitely not the attention I dislike, it's the inconvenient fight with biology from time to time (quite regularly) and how when I'm free you're busy
Oh I know your time is valuable, everyone wants a piece of LizDear Confused,
You must have me mixed up with some other girl. I'm never free, sweetie.
- Doctor "No Discounts, No Coupons" Liz
Cash only. We don't accept credit cards anymore. Something about the IRA or IRS or something like that.
You know you're horny when you pass up the chance to make an IRA joke as an Irishman. I'm sure glad I've been doing all of those extra hours nowCash only. We don't accept credit cards anymore. Something about the IRA or IRS or something like that.
You know you're horny when you pass up the chance to make an IRA joke as an Irishman. I'm sure glad I've been doing all of those extra hours now
Dear Dr Liz,Dear Working It Too Hard,
Admitting you have a problem is a good first step on any road to recovery.
But honestly, I don't see the problem. It sounds to me like you're handling everything quite well. You seem to have reached a perfect work/wife/life balance so I would encourage you not to change a thing.
Everyone's productivity goes down when they work from home. Everyone knows it. Especially your boss. Do you think you're the only one slacking off on his team? No way. Hell, you might even be his top performer (in more ways than one
I would encourage you to be more open and honest with your wife though. Maybe let her catch you on one of your favorite Lit threads. I would suggest "White Women Who Love BBC" or my thread about "Swingers Parties". Those are both two things that EVERY woman fantasizes about from time to time and who knows? You may discover that you two have some kinky common interests.
Two other good threads you might want to consider are "Shoe Porn" (every woman loves shoes - you absolutely can't go wrong letting her catch you on that thread) and CFNM, because if she is even the slightest bit mad at you, many of the posts on the CFNM threads will give her several excellent ideas for ways to punish/treat you.
I hope you will take my suggestions and report back to me about how it goes. I love helping people in your situation and I can't wait to hear about all the ways my advice will change your life.
- Doctor "I Find Men Like You Amusing" Liz
I haven’t had the pleasure of adorning a smiling face with a load in years.
Dear Doc. HumpDay again. I got this new GF, she’s got me under pressure. I’ll relay in song, as is my MO
She likes wear’n lipstick
She likes French cuisine
But she won’t let me use my passion,
Unless it’s in a limousine
She got me under pressure!
She likes the art museum
She don’t like Pavlov’s dog
She fun at the mind museum
She likes it in a London Fog
She don’t like other women
She likes whips and chains
She likes cocaine
Flip’n out with Great Danes
She’s about all I can handle
It’s too much for my brain
It’s got me under pressure!
I’m gonna give her a message
And here’s what I’m gonna say
IT’S ALL OVER!
She might get out a nightstick
And hurt me real, real bad
By the roadside, in a ditch
It’s got me under pressure!
Now in our sessions together before (very helpful BTW, I think I’m making progress!) you know of my penchant for wild crazy women who love to party and partake in Booger Sugar and expensive wine and whiskey.
We’ll leave that as it is…
My question is, I’ve always been the dominant one. This girl has me on my knees. I think I may like it?!
Should I stick to my original plan and end it, or let her hit me with the nightstick?
Yours truly,
Under pressure and Mentally and physically sore HDH
Dear Dr Liz,Dear Litigiously Inclined,
Although I feel I cannot be held responsible for what other people choose to do with their lives and I believe I will be able to press my case in court whether the judge is male or female because, well, let's just saying being bi-sexual has many benefits, I do have sympathy for the situation you find yourself in.
It must be so frustrating. So very, very, very frustrating.
Poor baby. Perhaps I can help ease all that frustration you have bottled up inside you and share with you my personal, off-the-record legal advice for how to settle with the woman who actually stole from you. You can even pretend I'm here if that helps you "get it all out"
This is however a one-time offer. We will never have this chance again to connect on a more personal, off-the-record way.
The choice is, of course, entirely yours. But for the record I have excellent liability insurance because, well, let's just say my insurance broker is a personal friend of mine in the same way you and I could be.
- Doctor "Your Frustration Is Optional" Liz
Hey guys I'm out in e-cyber Lit. space, bet you can't catch me!!
"So I think this one patient of mine is thinking of
suing me. Can you believe that? Are you listening
to me? I need you to take care of this for me. No,
I don't have insurance! I need you and a couple of
your friends to go pay him a visit and explain to him
why suing me would not be in his best int - are you
listening to me?! Oh my god, I ate so much stuffing
at Thanksgiving! I feel like a huge whale. Be honest,
am I getting fat? Is that why this jerk is threatening
to sue my ass? Hello? Are you my lawyer or not?"
Hey Dr Liz just between you, me and the gatepost, do you think we could sell the movie screen rights to our real life drama? I mean, what if 'someone' got bumped off, naming no names, would that also bump up the ante?Thank you. I do need to get out of the office a little more so see you there.
Plus, it's a great excuse to go shopping!
Hmmmm, what to wear? what to wear?
Thank you. I do need to get out of the office a little more so see you there.
Plus, it's a great excuse to go shopping!
Hmmmm, what to wear? what to wear?
