You mean I didn’t get that answer right?Hmm, I see someone needs to be sent back to school
and taught a lesson or two.
Have a seat, sweetie. Class is now in session
Dear Dr. Liz –
I am a little confused about your being upset with me for not commenting on your knee. Please understand that I meant no disrespect. It’s just that I was initially surprised by that photo in your response. At first glance, I thought that it was one of those CGI images you warned me about, and I was startled as to why you might have sent a trashy CGI picture to me.
But upon closer inspection, I realized it was not a trashy photo, that it was a stunning picture of you, and that you were really trying to bring me out of my puritanical Amish upbringing and show me that a woman’s body attributes were nothing to be afraid of. Still somewhat flustered, as I had never viewed a woman’s legs or knees before, I began to gaze over the sleekness of the long legs, the bending knee itself, and then the silky smooth skin above the knee. Admittedly though, I began to feel an uncomfortable warmth in parts of my body and wondered if that was a “normal” reaction to your photo, and perhaps that is what you intended to happen. If so, I appreciate you trying to bring me out of my social awkwardness.
I could never be fresh with a lady such as yourself, simply out of respect for you and my being very shy and inexperienced. And I could never lie to you as that would be breaking the Amish code of behavior.
Please accept my apology for the lack of an appropriate response to your beautiful photo.
Sincerely,
Your humble Wallflower
P.S. If you feel that my treatment would benefit from additional photos of you, please feel free to include them in future correspondence.
Perhaps one of those hippity hop balls with the odd phallic handle?
My old chair quit. I need a new one. Maybe if I Google human furniture ....
No doubt you'd have to keep repositioning your body as you molded into the proper fitting.
My old chair quit. I need a new one. Maybe if I Google human furniture ....
Here's to you having a remote controlled air compressor to give it an extra boost of fillingHmmm, that's not the worst idea I've heard. I do sort of like the purple one
It has two options? Nice! I think you would need a big towel beneath itHmmm, that's not the worst idea I've heard. I do sort of like the purple one
Oh darn. Did something happen? Has she stopped flirting back with you? That's too bad. I'm sorry.
So that's where my ping pong paddle went.Dear Humble Wallflower,
Apologies for making you wait in the Reception Area for over a month. Thank you for bringing this oversight to my attention. I have investigated this matter and I assure you those responsible for this travesty shall and will be held accountable.
Although, Madison, the receptionist who booked your appointment was new at the time, it's no excuse. You were wronged and you no doubt expect not only restitution but also retribution. I assure you, you shall have both. A full refund, plus a 10% inconvenience gift, will be credited back to your credit card on file.
Plus, if you wish to observe my disciplinary measures I intend to take with her, you may do so after I address the questions you have raised.
So let's see ... you're welcome. I was intend trying to draw you out of your puritanical Amish upbringing and help you understand the complexities of a woman by getting your primitive male brain to engage and answer simple anatomy questions at first, which, if successful, would lead to subsequent anatomy questions and learning opportunities.
First off, thank you for noticing my smooth pampered skin. I believe our skin is a living, growing organ as vital as our heart or any other organ so I do endeavor to pamper and moisturize it daily. I often engage others to help me with this task as there are some areas of my body that are hard to reach, and other areas of my body that seem to give pleasure to myself (and others) when I allow others to touch, rub, caress and moisturize them as they so desire.
Secondly, you did indeed have what I would call a "normal" reaction to seeing my knee. There were actually two correct responses. Yours was stimulation. The other acceptable reaction would have been fear. You see, when a man insults a woman, a woman often has the direct and immediate urge to thrust her knee into the man's groinal area in order to cause his brain, and his central nervous system, to reset. The harder she thrusts said knee into a man's groinal area is directly proportional to how mad he made her with whatever stupid thing he said to her which no doubt rightfully set her off. (note: women are RARELY ever wrong about this)
Lastly, I do worry that you may struggle to come to terms with other pictures of myself that I might be inclined to share with you. I suspect, and for your sake would hope, that you would have a similar reaction to the one you had of my knee. That is, feeling a sense of warmth and stimulation. However, any further or subsequest suggestion that a picture of me could be "a trashy CGI photo" would be a most unfortunate calamity. Especially for your groinal area. (see above) My knee, although silky smooth as you observed, is nonetheless on what could be called a hair trigger.
Since you have been so patient and understanding, and because you seem courageous in your pursuit of knowledge, I shall now allow you to watch as I discipline Madison for mishandling your case.
If you have any additional questions, or need for expediated personal treatment, please do not hesitate to let us know. We are always happy to be of service to someone such as yourself who seems so eager and willing to learn.
Now apologize to the nice man, Madison. But not right away. This is for your own good, sweetie.
- Doctor "I'm Here For You" Liz
S'KOOL? I donHmm, I see someone needs to be sent back to school
and taught a lesson or two.
Have a seat, sweetie. Class is now in session
nead no skool. If you tink tat was Paree, dis is Paree.
)
I knew I was in the wrong class.Hmmm, we can either agree to disagree or you can stay after class for some private tutoring. Your choice.
That thing would never fit in my mouth, so it wasn't me!
