Ask the Demon

[VandalHeart]

My dearest Vandal,

*sob* Im stil stuck at my moms with a million ppl in a teeny house. The Boss keeps putting off or saying he will be in Dallas and doesnt do it, last heard he would be here Mon-Wed and cant get him to even give the courtesy of calling me back. Again Im at the point of being without meds and I cant get diddle out of him.

I hesitate to take the bus back because the last one damn near killed us with piss poor maintenance.

Btw neither of my sons could be bothered to take me home this weekend. My family sucks
What the hell do I do know? I am sick of all this noise and need my quiet room

signed displaced Fae of the Lake Mansion

Ya know, I know I've given this particular piece of advice before, I'm just not sure if you've ever gotten it.

There comes a point at which everyone must get angry and breathe fire down someone's neck. Your sons need to be bitchslapped. The Boss needs to get his head out of Outlands and get the faerie back home. If HALF of the people involved would just raise a finger to help, you'd have all the helping hand you'd need to get back home. Figure out a plan to get back, find the price tag for it, and fucking explode all over someone's head with it. Make sure you target the correct person. Exploding all over the postman won't do much good, and someone who is willing but incapable of helping getting exploded on will do nothing more than sour your relationship with them. But it's about time to rip someone a new asshole.

Besides, you're overdue for taking a chunk out of someone, and at this point, they are not only taking advantage of you, but you're seriously suffering for it because of their neglect and ineptitudes. The point:

GET

PISSED

 

[MsTexas]

I just happened to click on your sig link and found your videos ... quite entertaining ... thanks!

 

[VandalHeart]

I just happened to click on your sig link and found your videos ... quite entertaining ... thanks!

Oh, no, thank you for taking the time!

 

[LadyAria]

Dear Demon:

I just watched your videos. Why don't you clean your room more?

~OCD voyeur

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon:

I just watched your videos. Why don't you clean your room more?

~OCD voyeur

Ever heard the words "excercise in futility" spoken in tandem with a laugh riddled with pathetic and sick desperation?

Yeah. That's why.

 

[gesshoku]

Hello Daemon,

I have a semi serious question.

I like sex. I really do. But I wonder if the people that I have sex with are enjoying it nearly as much as I do. They say they do, and 9 times out of 10 they orgasm, so at least physically its pleasing, but how do I know if I'm any good?


Yes, I have a serious issue or three....


Thanks

 

[VandalHeart]

Hello Daemon,

I have a semi serious question.

I like sex. I really do. But I wonder if the people that I have sex with are enjoying it nearly as much as I do. They say they do, and 9 times out of 10 they orgasm, so at least physically its pleasing, but how do I know if I'm any good?

Yes, I have a serious issue or three....

Thanks

First off, you can never really know what someone else is thinking, and some people are really good liars.

On the other hand, I know one guy who thinks you are freakin' awesome in the sack, and he is likely going to do unspeakable things to you tonight, so there.

In essence, you are good. To someone. The chemistry makes a lot of difference. Some people could be taken care of by a ten-year perfectly certified and endorsed slave and still be unsatisfied. Until you get a bad report, don't assume you're bad at it.

Besides...you're good. Trust me.

 

[gesshoku]

Dear Daemon,

What is the best way to convince someone to let go of something they aren't using anymore?

 

[treekella]

Dear Daemon,

If i chop my pee pee, will i no longer feel horny?

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Daemon,

What is the best way to convince someone to let go of something they aren't using anymore?

Honestly? Money. Short of that, begging and bargaining works, but the long and short of it all is that if they don't want to let it go, they won't. Ask them what they'll need to give it up and work your ass off to get it is the best advice I could give.

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Daemon,

If i chop my pee pee, will i no longer feel horny?

No, it doesn't work like that.

Think lower.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

No, it doesn't work like that.

Think lower.

I laughed at the videos. So! Question.

I noticed this odd fact and was curious as to whether you had any idea on why this might be. I have never attracted a woman less than two years older or younger than me. Basically, any woman my age or within a year has not been interested in me as more than a friend. I can, however, attract everyone from the age of 18 to late 20's and older.

So, why might this be?

 

[VandalHeart]

I laughed at the videos. So! Question.

I noticed this odd fact and was curious as to whether you had any idea on why this might be. I have never attracted a woman less than two years older or younger than me. Basically, any woman my age or within a year has not been interested in me as more than a friend. I can, however, attract everyone from the age of 18 to late 20's and older.

So, why might this be?

Wait...check the wording of that again and repost it. I'm a little confused.

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

Wait...check the wording of that again and repost it. I'm a little confused.

Ok. So. I have never dated anyone under 2 year's difference from my own age. I have, in the past year, seem to have the attention of some women from the ages of 18 on, but avoiding this 4 year spread around my own age. (I'm age X. I haven't dated anyone X-1, or anyone X+1. I have dated X-2, and X+2. Anyone in the age range of X+1 or X-1, or the age of X, does not seem interested in me in the slightest.)

So why might this be?

 

[Lumus]

Yo

Goff off'n mah ass and registered. 'Sup?

 

[HotFaerieMama]

Dear Demon ...

why are you in my head and why can't i make you leave?

 

[VandalHeart]

Ok. So. I have never dated anyone under 2 year's difference from my own age. I have, in the past year, seem to have the attention of some women from the ages of 18 on, but avoiding this 4 year spread around my own age. (I'm age X. I haven't dated anyone X-1, or anyone X+1. I have dated X-2, and X+2. Anyone in the age range of X+1 or X-1, or the age of X, does not seem interested in me in the slightest.)

So why might this be?

That's...strange.

At the very least, I can say this: women can easilly develope a lust for older men or younger men, and you may just be hitting a big streak of xenochronopilliacs (yes, I just made that word up...deal). Maybe the girls you've been around not exactly your age have been over-exposed or something. I dunno. At the very least, you've stumped me. Good job. But lemme ask you this: How much of a loss is this situation?

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

That's...strange.

At the very least, I can say this: women can easilly develope a lust for older men or younger men, and you may just be hitting a big streak of xenochronopilliacs (yes, I just made that word up...deal). Maybe the girls you've been around not exactly your age have been over-exposed or something. I dunno. At the very least, you've stumped me. Good job. But lemme ask you this: How much of a loss is this situation?

None at all, as last night's success would indicate. I just thought it a curious thing.

 

[gesshoku]

Daemon,

Is being a warmonger a bad thing?

 

[VandalHeart]

None at all, as last night's success would indicate. I just thought it a curious thing.

Good man, good man. See? Every pattern is breakable with willpower and patience.

Isn't that right, Clerky? (I'm gonna get a mace upside my head one of these days.)

 

[rhyst_hatchyk]

Good man, good man. See? Every pattern is breakable with willpower and patience.

Isn't that right, Clerky? (I'm gonna get a mace upside my head one of these days.)

Funny, actually, because the new girl doesn't break that pattern, just the pattern of me being mostly girlfriend-less, because she's outside of that 4 year spread, heh.

 

[VandalHeart]

Daemon,

Is being a warmonger a bad thing?

Depends on the situation. So says Ecclesiastes and the Byrds, to everything, there is a season. War was on that list. Just make sure your reasons are sound.

Oh, and kick their asses, too.

 

[HotFaerieMama]

Dear Demon, if you were given the chance to do whatever you wanted with no repercussions whatsoever what would you do and why?
( and yes the rading of a tampon factory would be absurd and just proves that you are in fact crazy?

PS
- a dear friend of mine has brought to my attention that i'm addicted to you.. now what would i have done to make this person come to this conclusion?
- and why must people who know about my ice cube thing.. feel a need to talk about ice cubes when i am around them?

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon, if you were given the chance to do whatever you wanted with no repercussions whatsoever what would you do and why?
( and yes the rading of a tampon factory would be absurd and just proves that you are in fact crazy?

PS
- a dear friend of mine has brought to my attention that i'm addicted to you.. now what would i have done to make this person come to this conclusion?
- and why must people who know about my ice cube thing.. feel a need to talk about ice cubes when i am around them?

Depends on my mood, really. I do believe I'd go on a shopping spree of some kind, actually. If I had no prices slowing me down, I'd steal a whole bunch of expensive shit, keep what I want and sell the rest back. Then I'd quit my primary job and concentrate on the second so I could work from home like I want to do.

And raiding the tampon factory was just a whim. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Dunno, I'd have to see the conversation to know what had transpired, but you do seem quite taken with me. All I can say is that you seem awefully loyal to a guy you've never met and who all your friends tell you to stay away from. I appreciate you not heeding their warnings, though. Just make sure you're head and heart are in the same place.

And lastly, because people like getting a rise out of others, and you just make it so easy. *bitchslap*

 

[VandalHeart]

Funny, actually, because the new girl doesn't break that pattern, just the pattern of me being mostly girlfriend-less, because she's outside of that 4 year spread, heh.

Still a pattern, my challenge stands.