- Ask the Sloth Guru a Question -

[elli1]

this thread is about rational advice for the rationality-challenged AKA honey.
(other litsters may post questions as well)
voluntary donations (e.g. sloth pix) welcome​

 

[LusterMunky]

Dear Sloth Guru,

Shouldn't you be somewhere else, or doing something else? Like writing a thesis or SkypeFucking The Masher?

Best regards,
Curious Munky

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

http://s10.postimg.org/9a8d5kgvd/lucy_doctor_is_in_color_decal_sticker_58383.jpg

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Sloth Guru,

My therapist apparently doesn't know how to spell 'challenged.'

What a dummy.

Should I leave her and seek advice elsewhere?


Very Truly Yours,
At Least I Know How To Spell Challenged

 

[elli1]

Dear Sloth Guru,

Shouldn't you be somewhere else, or doing something else? Like writing a thesis or SkypeFucking The Masher?

Best regards,
Curious Munky

Dear munky,

first, no questions about my private life, please.
second, curiosity is great, it means we keep learning. you should respect people's privacy, though, or they'll tell you to fuck off.

signed,
the sloth guru

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

bonus!

 

[elli1]

Dear Sloth Guru,

My therapist apparently doesn't know how to spell 'challenged.'

What a dummy.

Should I leave her and seek advice elsewhere?


Very Truly Yours,
At Least I Know How To Spell Challenged

Dear person who knows how to spell 'challenged',

no. after all she's not a linguist....

signed,
me

 

[Aussie_Wolf]

http://38.media.tumblr.com/eb1efc033d4d562bd18d579756215b52/tumblr_n9k0r4HqWT1t5r1mpo1_1280.gif

One sloth in advance

 

[elli1]

bonus!

huh?

http://38.media.tumblr.com/eb1efc033d4d562bd18d579756215b52/tumblr_n9k0r4HqWT1t5r1mpo1_1280.gif

One sloth in advance

yay!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Sloth Guru,

I need a job.

I was thinking of applying at a menswear shop, because suits!

Whaddya think?

Also, I'm not bad with people.


Signed,
Needs a job and likes to help men get undressed-- i mean, dressed up.

 

[elli1]

if anyone can recommend a sloth pic for sloth guru memes.....
not sure if i want a clever sloth or a crazy sloth *scratches chin*

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

bonus that you're getting to give Munky advice hahahahahahahaahhahaahahhahaha

 

[elli1]

Dear Sloth Guru,

I need a job.

I was thinking of applying at a menswear shop, because suits!

Whaddya think?

Also, I'm not bad with people.


Signed,
Needs a job and likes to help men get undressed-- i mean, dressed up.

Dear cock, ehm, job-seeking litster,

if you think you can control yourself, sure. if you can't, make sure you don' get caught!

signed, me

 

[elli1]

honey, look!

http://s10.postimg.org/qo6jjvsyx/Download_5.jpg

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Sloth Guru,

I'm a sucker for a smooth-talker.

How do I spot a man-whore before my skirt is up over my head?


Signed,
Doesn't want to be part of a harem

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

honey, look!

http://s10.postimg.org/qo6jjvsyx/Download_5.jpg

omg
omg
omg

 

[LusterMunky]

Dear Sloth Guru,

It has been only recently (about 10 minutes ago) that I became enamored with the charm of Slothful Life.

I want to do everything I can to be a Sloth. I already lay around the couch, scratch my Munky Balls, and watch porn. But I want to do more, do every Slothful Thing just right, really get into it. I need a new lifestyle. So, toward that end, here is my question, Miss Sloth Guru: I have this banana and would like to know if it is more Slothful to dip it in a vat of Hershey's or should I be more restrained and just squeeze-bottle Hershey's over it? Which is more Slothful?

Kindest regards,
Newly Slothed

 

[elli1]

Dear Sloth Guru,

I'm a sucker for a smooth-talker.

How do I spot a man-whore before my skirt is up over my head?


Signed,
Doesn't want to be part of a harem

Dear slut,

consider them all man-whores at first. then let them prove you wrong.
also, being on lit when you're horny is like going shopping when you're hungry. DON'T!

signed,
me

 

[elli1]

Dear Sloth Guru,

It has been only recently (about 10 minutes ago) that I became enamored with the charm of Slothful Life.

I want to do everything I can to be a Sloth. I already lay around the couch, scratch my Munky Balls, and watch porn. But I want to do more, do every Slothful Thing just right, really get into it. I need a new lifestyle. So, toward that end, here is my question, Miss Sloth Guru: I have this banana and would like to know if it is more Slothful to dip it in a vat of Hershey's or should I be more restrained and just squeeze-bottle Hershey's over it? Which is more Slothful?

Kindest regards,
Newly Slothed

Dear Sloth wannabe,

the real problem lies not in the question whether you should, i quote, "dip it [your banana] in a vat of Hershey's or [...] be more restrained and just squeeze-bottle Hershey's over it [your banana]", but in the fact that you, i quote, "scratch [your] Munky Balls" (emphasis mine).

*shakes head*

signed,
me

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear slut,

consider them all man-whores at first. then let them prove you wrong.
also, being on lit when you're horny is like going shopping when you're hungry. DON'T!

signed,
me

dear you,

can you please expand on this part?

err, tia

 

[elli1]

dear you,

can you please expand on this part?

err, tia

*sighs*
well, you watch them, how they act, what they say etc. if they only ever PM you to get in your panties or, as you put it, "feed you their cocks" and that ain't what you want, you have your answer.

BUT: this is lit. many people come here to flirt, play, cyber. not to find a husband or wife. if you're not interested in playing, say so. if you're not interested in being one of many playmates, say so but don't ask of them what you're not willing to give yourself. if you want something exclusive, it has to be exclusive from your side as well.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

ok, thanks!

 

[LusterMunky]

Dear Sloth wannabe,

the real problem lies not in the question whether you should, i quote, "dip it [your banana] in a vat of Hershey's or [...] be more restrained and just squeeze-bottle Hershey's over it [your banana]", but in the fact that you, i quote, "scratch [your] Munky Balls" (emphasis mine).

*shakes head*

signed,
me

Dear Slothful,

Thank you for your prompt response and shaking your head. I should point out that the reason I "scratch my balls" is that I contracted CyberCrabs from (most likely) HoneyButts. Or it might have been you. I get around. Who knows? Which leads me to my next question re Slothyness: Should I continue to let wimmefolk have their way with me? Wouldn't it be more Truly Slothful to just ignore them and follow sports and the Kardashians?

Regards,
Newly Slothy

 

[elli1]

Dear Slothful,

Thank you for your prompt response and shaking your head. I should point out that the reason I "scratch my balls" is that I contracted CyberCrabs from (most likely) HoneyButts. Or it might have been you. I get around. Who knows? Which leads me to my next question re Slothyness: Should I continue to let wimmefolk have their way with me? Wouldn't it be more Truly Slothful to just ignore them and follow sports and the Kardashians?

Regards,
Newly Slothy

Dear munky-whore,

i don't object to your scratching your balls, but if you keep referring to them as your 'munky' balls, you'll never be a true sloth.

now about your question: sloths cum within a few seconds. keep on doing it the sloth way, it's fine.

 

[LusterMunky]

*sighs*
well, you watch them, how they act, what they say etc. if they only ever PM you to get in your panties or, as you put it, "feed you their cocks" and that ain't what you want, you have your answer.

BUT: this is lit. many people come here to flirt, play, cyber. not to find a husband or wife. if you're not interested in playing, say so. if you're not interested in being one of many playmates, say so but don't ask of them what you're not willing to give yourself. if you want something exclusive, it has to be exclusive from your side as well.

{HUGZ}