- Ask the Sloth Guru a Question -

[elli1]

{HUGZ}

ehm... o.0

 

[LusterMunky]

ehm... o.0

I don't know what o.0 means.

 

[elli1]

I don't know what o.0 means.

it means: *raised eyebrow*

 

[ozrod]

Dear Sloth Guru,

I'm a sucker for a smooth-talker.

How do I spot a man-whore before my skirt is up over my head?


Signed,
Doesn't want to be part of a harem

Dear slut,

consider them all man-whores at first. then let them prove you wrong.
also, being on lit when you're horny is like going shopping when you're hungry. DON'T!

signed,
me

Also, check for the tattoo on their arse. It should say 'Man Whore' with a glow in the dark barber's pole.

Unfortunately, unless it's dark, you may need to pull your skirt over your head to see it.

 

[elli1]

Also, check for the tattoo on their arse. It should say 'Man Whore' with a glow in the dark barber's pole.

Unfortunately, unless it's dark, you may need to pull your skirt over your head to see it.

or just check if they have a penis

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Sloth Guru,

How many times can I watch a video before it stops being polite admiration and becomes pervalicious obsession?

*ahem*


Signed,
Eyes Glued To Screen

 

[elli1]

Dear Sloth Guru,

How many times can I watch a video before it stops being polite admiration and becomes pervalicious obsession?

*ahem*


Signed,
Eyes Glued To Screen

Dear porn addict,

if your pussy is sore, stop.

signed,
me

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear porn addict,

if your pussy is sore, stop.

signed,
me

okay, so keep going. got it.



Dear Sloth Guru,

What's the best way to ask a porn star for a wanking vid?

Signed,
Not Sore Yet

 

[elli1]

okay, so keep going. got it.



Dear Sloth Guru,

What's the best way to ask a porn star for a wanking vid?

Signed,
Not Sore Yet

just ask straight out, porn stars are used to it

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

just ask straight out, porn stars are used to it

awesome, thanks!

Sloth Guru, you're the best!

 

[elli1]

awesome, thanks!

Sloth Guru, you're the best!

i know

 

[elli1]

damn, i should have created an alt for this

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

oh, look what i missed when i fell asleep in my chair.

Also, check for the tattoo on their arse. It should say 'Man Whore' with a glow in the dark barber's pole.

Unfortunately, unless it's dark, you may need to pull your skirt over your head to see it.

sneaky!

or just check if they have a penis

no problem.

wait-- are you saying... ?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

damn, i should have created an alt for this

you wanna borrow one of mine?

 

[elli1]

you wanna borrow one of mine?

if you have one with the handle "sloth_guru"...

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

if you have one with the handle "sloth_guru"...

umm... *consults alt rolodex*

nope, sorry. *shrug*

 

[elli1]

umm... *consults alt rolodex*

nope, sorry. *shrug*

damn

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

want me to look again?

 

[elli1]

want me to look again?

*blinkblink*
huh?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

*blinkblink*
huh?

never mind. i keep forgetting you're a sloth.



*rubs sore cheek, goes to sit in corner*

 

[LusterMunky]

Dear Miss Slothful,

Being new to the whole Sloth Lifestyle, I am, as you might guess, just full of questions.

Here's one: it seems that being Truly Slothful one should expend a minimum of energy, lay around, eat Funyuns, and watch the Disney Channel (on mute). And yet I continue to masturbate thirty or forty times a day, which requires Unslothful Bursts of Energy. Your advice for a Sloth Wannabe? Should I watch a different channel? Should I change my phone number? Would butterscotch help?

Regards,
New Sloth

 

[elli1]

*rubs sore cheek, goes to sit in corner*

can't hurt, it was a sloth slap

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

can't hurt, it was a sloth slap

so kind of like a wave, then?

 

[elli1]

Dear Miss Slothful,

Being new to the whole Sloth Lifestyle, I am, as you might guess, just full of questions.

Here's one: it seems that being Truly Slothful one should expend a minimum of energy, lay around, eat Funyuns, and watch the Disney Channel (on mute). And yet I continue to masturbate thirty or forty times a day, which requires Unslothful Bursts of Energy. Your advice for a Sloth Wannabe? Should I watch a different channel? Should I change my phone number? Would butterscotch help?

Regards,
New Sloth

Dear confused munky-sloth,

first, yes, please change the tv channel!

as for the masturbation: we call it procrasturbation. it's not a productive activity, so it's fine. also, why do you think sloths always have that blissfully happy facial expression?

http://s3.postimg.org/pqojptndv/9767862.jpg

 

[elli1]

so kind of like a wave, then?

like a hand gently brushing your cheek, really