Boys Why Do You Crave Submission

[MissMayhem69]

Men, why do you crave submission? Do you find it easy or hard to talk about your needs? Do you expect your domme to be able to trad your mind or do you like to ask for your needs?

 

[PaxNurgle]

It's a tough thing, because there is a certain sense of shame, especially mainstream vanilla folks, and (especially) with a potential partner who most likely does not share my views on submission and kink. It's something that I generally keep buried inside me and don't discuss with anyone- unless they have already made their orientation of a "Dominant" known to me before hand. Even then, I have to delicately prod around the conversation to get a sense of whether we are compatible or not. Dominant female types are looking for a vast array of different things within the dynamic- from pure service-oriented 24/7 domestic slaves with little or no kink play involved, to romantic relationships with lots of kink play.

But once we've established that we at least have a possibility of being compatible, as far as relationship goals, and kinks, then it is easier to discuss our mutual needs, and I for one believe in open communication. However, if I was with a "vanilla" partner who had never expressed or even hinted at any desire to, shall we say, put me in a "compromising position", then I probably wouldn't ever bring it up with them, for fear of it being a turn-off for them.

(edit/addendum) as for why I crave submission, it's twofold- one, because I generally like to please, and it's easier when you are simply and directly told how to do so. And two, because I respect the power and grace of someone who is stronger.

 

[Boat1]

Men, why do you crave submission? Do you find it easy or hard to talk about your needs? Do you expect your domme to be able to trad your mind or do you like to ask for your needs?

It's VERY multifaceted as "chivalry" has ALWAYS been an innate part of me.
Even back to first grade, I couldn't keep a jacket, but there wasn't a cold girl in my building.
That morphed into being a "giver" or "pleaser" in my teens and early adulthood and despite failed relationships, I've NEVER let the world strip me of those traits.

In my "work life" I've always pushed the envelope, physically and mentally and often find myself in "leadership roles" that were unwantingly thrust upon me, resulting in making split second life or death decisions for myself, which I don't mind and for others, which I don't enjoy at all. It almost manifests as "martyrdom" to some who see it happen.

Through the "pushing the envelope" which I mentioned earlier, I developed an extremely high pain tolerance.
Now, at 58, having barely ever dipped my toes into the D/s and BDSM world, I've had some VERY profound discoveries.

I'm now in a relationship, that started as a friendship/moral support, after a mutually shared tragedy, with the most perfect and beautiful lady I've ever known.
Neither of us were D/s, but it just surfaced, naturally and organically, opening my eyes to the fact that I'm an extreme Masochist and am TOTALLY blessed in having found my soulmate... It's been so wonderfully amazing to witness and be the recipient of the hidden, or latent, Sadist love and energy that She gives me.
She and I didn't even know these traits of D/s and BDSM existed, buried within ourselves a year ago.
She's now my Wife, Domme, and Goddess and I live in TOTAL PARADISE!

PS... Additionally, having seen so many good ladies in my lifetime, who've been neglected, taken for granted and abused, it just feels soooo incredibly right to FULLY give myself to Her, as She has fully given Herself to me...
(I hope I articulated this OK) sorry so long, but you asked.

Edit: My Domme pointed out that I'd neglected to answer the last question....
We communicate very well regarding both of our needs and wants. That said, She also deserves IMMENSE credit for being the most intuitive Lady I've ever known, thus, I don't expect Her to read my mind, but She certainly has the ability and does.
I prefer to give Her free reign over me, as She ALWAYS has my best interest at heart!

 

[Wonderer67]

I like to be in control. At work, at home. Im a control freak. When I got out of the army the first time, in 1993, I met a domme in college. She was a bit older like me, and we hit it off. She showed me what s&m was (it was before the bdsm days! ). It felt so good to NOT be in control. I always thought it was for really freaky people. Then I realized I was one of those freaky people!

She was beautiful and a great domme. She moved away but she he feeling never left me. When I got out of the army again in 2008, I felt that need to be controlled again… it was a need deep inside my soul.

I met my current wife in 2012 and we explored a lot of sexual fetishes and just explored sexually, here and other places. Gradually our relationship turned into one of me being a submissive husband. She is not mean, but more of a loving domme. We engage in orgasm denial/ control and other light forms of BDSM.

So why do I crave submission? It feels like a need. A part of me. It feels right and the more crazy my life gets, the more I feel submissive (like right now).

I’m somewhat dominant IRL. I know what to do in most situations at work and on our farm, especially when there’s a lot to do or when the chips are down. To submit sexually feels thrilling, like I can truly let go.

My wife is an amazing woman and knows how to play me like a musical instrument.

 

[Boat1]

I like to be in control. At work, at home. Im a control freak. When I got out of the army the first time, in 1993, I met a domme in college. She was a bit older like me, and we hit it off. She showed me what s&m was (it was before the bdsm days! ). It felt so good to NOT be in control. I always thought it was for really freaky people. Then I realized I was one of those freaky people!

She was beautiful and a great domme. She moved away but she he feeling never left me. When I got out of the army again in 2008, I felt that need to be controlled again… it was a need deep inside my soul.

I met my current wife in 2012 and we explored a lot of sexual fetishes and just explored sexually, here and other places. Gradually our relationship turned into one of me being a submissive husband. She is not mean, but more of a loving domme. We engage in orgasm denial/ control and other light forms of BDSM.

So why do I crave submission? It feels like a need. A part of me. It feels right and the more crazy my life gets, the more I feel submissive (like right now).

I’m somewhat dominant IRL. I know what to do in most situations at work and on our farm, especially when there’s a lot to do or when the chips are down. To submit sexually feels thrilling, like I can truly let go.

My wife is an amazing woman and knows how to play me like a musical instrument.

That's awesome!
I refer to it as "Freedom through captivity."

 

[9to5]

as for my needs it depends on who I am talking with.
If she is a Domme and has done this before its easier.
Then Its just what I say is a for sure no. adn then I talk about what I would like to happen but not much detail. I leave that up to her.
I might say mild cbt and teasing with some bondage.
Also what does she enjoy doing. I put myself in her hands. I want her to enjoy what she is doing and what turns her on.
if she is happy then so am I , I hope

 

[Jerryteroga]

Men, why do you crave submission? Do you find it easy or hard to talk about your needs? Do you expect your domme to be able to trad your mind or do you like to ask for your needs?

Yes i do craze it simply just because i love to be controlled, teased, and used. I am fine with taking about anything but i am always embarrassed and humiliated. I would ask for it or discuss it

 

[masterslave00]

Men, why do you crave submission? Do you find it easy or hard to talk about your needs? Do you expect your domme to be able to trad your mind or do you like to ask for your needs?

Why? Perhaps because all my working life, I was in position of power in public - teacher at high school and later professor at University. Perhaps that's also why I tend to crave domination from significantly younger females.

I find it easy to talk about my needs, but most Dommes I met did not like it, claiming I was trying to top from bottom.

So although I would like to ask, most of the time I leave it to her. Luckily, I have had a switch FWB for several years now and we know each other so well we don't need to ask or guess anymore.

 

[Cardinal]

I don’t know why it’s just always been a fantasy. Would love my wife to take direct control for her pleasure while I eagerly serve her.

 

[Mike_1]

The simple answer is as mentioned already in this thread: as guys (or humans actually) we need to be in control and take responsibility, be accountable, lead. Letting go, allowing myself to be vulnerable and helpless is refreshing.

I was fascinated by strong women as a child, as I grew up and started being sexually involved with women, this fascination only grew.

 

[ChasBozwell30]

It's a fantasy full of excitement and anticipation. I find it gives you a zen like, mind empty feeling, where all your worries melt away. Serving, and being used, just feels physically and emotionally wonderful.

 

[YoungToy]

Men, why do you crave submission? Do you find it easy or hard to talk about your needs? Do you expect your domme to be able to trad your mind or do you like to ask for your needs?

I have no idea, but I wish I understood or knew. It feels both erotic and comforting to have that level where I can let go and be enveloped in pleasure. Generally I find it extraordinarily difficult, and I feel like it gets harder and harder as I get older to express it. Most likely due to the fact that most of my lovers have found it weird or unappealing, and thats just how life goes. Even those that are willing to try it only will half ass it before they give up, obvioisly never interested in the first place.

Ideally, I love when she is about to probe my mind and understand what I want. Feel her push each soft boundary I have, hear her explain that its what she wants, and that she knows whats best for me. Envisioning her only asking me to admit to my desires in the full heat of the moment when all inhibitions are lost. Obviously that isnt an overnight or one time thing, but my brain works very diffirently arroused versus turned off.

The older I get (still not that old, thankfully) the more I lean towards more gentle femdom with a more caring Domme over a cruel one. My body craves moments where she has to express her power, but nothings more desireable than a woman who says she knows whats best and easily seduces and breaks me for her own pleasure.

 

[GeorgiaGuy48]

I guess since I am the boss at work, and I have retain control of several aspects of the business, directing people, logistics in several phases of the operation. At times it can just get insane, and no matter what you do to make something or the process as idiot proof as possible, someone will over think it or even perhaps under think it.

So with that said the submission let's me have a little check out from the madness.

Second, I learned that a lot of the kink involved in it really excites me and turns me on.

The excitement and the break from the being in control using sends me into a subspace, where my partner can pretty much do as they please.

Since I am in an FLR marriage that involves cuckolding on a somewhat regular basis, it all works out for both her and I.

When I was a younger man, absolutely none of this appealed to me at all, so over the decades I have evolved and could not be happier.

 

[PaxNurgle]

In a practical sense, when you are submissive, you are receptive to direct communication and there is no guesswork.

"Honey, how can I satisfy you?"
"I want it THAT way." Specifically, tell me what to do so I can be a better partner, a better lover, and better person, that YOU want me to be so I can satisfy you.

And they will tell you.

I guess, direct communication and following instructions works better when there is no ambiguity. No guesswork. I want to be your dream lover, so tell me what to do, how to do it, so I can be that for you. This applies both to vanilla sex and kink, by the way.

 

[Playwithmee]

I’m a Senior Office in a company and am well respected in all organizations that I participate in and the general public. That being said I am in control of most things in my life, so finding a woman who has the strength to take control in private is a drug for me. And we both know who’s really in charge when we’re in public as I wear those lace thong panties she demand I wear under my Tuxedo to remind of that fact.

I prefer to put me Domme’s needs before anything I might want. Pleasing her is everything. But I would let it be known that I like my limits pushed in anyway that she would desire, but I do have a few hard limits. Secondly, which should be obvious by now, my public reputation must not be subjected to my submission. But as I discussed there are private ways to enhance this in public as well.

 

[LasTime]

I like to be in control. At work, at home. Im a control freak. When I got out of the army the first time, in 1993, I met a domme in college. She was a bit older like me, and we hit it off. She showed me what s&m was (it was before the bdsm days! ). It felt so good to NOT be in control. I always thought it was for really freaky people. Then I realized I was one of those freaky people!

She was beautiful and a great domme. She moved away but she he feeling never left me. When I got out of the army again in 2008, I felt that need to be controlled again… it was a need deep inside my soul.

I met my current wife in 2012 and we explored a lot of sexual fetishes and just explored sexually, here and other places. Gradually our relationship turned into one of me being a submissive husband. She is not mean, but more of a loving domme. We engage in orgasm denial/ control and other light forms of BDSM.

So why do I crave submission? It feels like a need. A part of me. It feels right and the more crazy my life gets, the more I feel submissive (like right now).

I’m somewhat dominant IRL. I know what to do in most situations at work and on our farm, especially when there’s a lot to do or when the chips are down. To submit sexually feels thrilling, like I can truly let go.

My wife is an amazing woman and knows how to play me like a musical instrument.

Did that domme ever fuck your ass?

 

[Wonderer67]

The original one, no. I don’t think I would have been ready for that then.

My wife? Yes and I enjoy it occasionally.

 

[shrek100]

I am a control freak.
Run my business, employ staff. Make decisions all the time.
High pressure, long hours and high blood pressure.

To realise control. To be used, to be enslaved in a sexual way is Devine.
I used to try to control from the bottom but now I just go with it all.
It’s like a therapy to my sole.
And I have the best orgasms

 

[Sinceresub]

I don't know why exactly I just know I do. I'd always been this way since middle school when I found out what I was.

I'm not submissive towards all women. Only certain ones have this look, something about them that brings out these feelings most women do not. They make me feel shy, nervous, intimidated, embarrassed and very submissive.

I'd dated quite a few women but it never worked out. They didn't bring out those feelings in me. The ones that do I can't really approach them so I haven't exactly well, done anything with a woman.

 

[Boat1]

I am a control freak.
Run my business, employ staff. Make decisions all the time.
High pressure, long hours and high blood pressure.

To realise control. To be used, to be enslaved in a sexual way is Devine.
I used to try to control from the bottom but now I just go with it all.
It’s like a therapy to my sole.
And I have the best orgasms

Soooooo well said!
Thank you!

 

[Boat1]

 

[Boat1]

It's hard to explain how much I love being owned and twisted by my Lovely Domme Wife... how eager I am to be kneeling astraddle of Her, looking deeply into Her sexy eyes, feeling Her sexy hand and wrist stroking inside of my ass, as She squeezes and smacks my tightly bound balls, while making me edge myself for Her...

 

[Ashesh9]

I firmly believe Cosmic Creatrix Goddess Kali engineered Her male creations to be secretly submissive and crave masochistic pain like Spanking and CBT...So there is no shame in being a taller, stronger , bigger slaveboyhubby to my shorter, weaker, smaller MistressWife Who is Goddess Kali's representative on Earth. My submissiveness is both Erotic as well as Spiritual....I bow to the Feminine/st Divine/First:
The Femme_inist
Is the First!!!
The Feminine:
Cosmically Divine!!!
Glory to Goddess Kali in Heaven:
Peace to MistressWife on Earth!!!
AAAAWYMENNNN

 

[funguy4u100]

Honestly It just feels more natural to me. I had the job and the power like others have mentioned and I grew to hate it. I'd rather be taking orders from a domme. That's part of why I love wearing panties...it's the secret of being in a sub role (even to myself) by breaking the societal norms and being able to connect with how I really feel inside.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Men, why do you crave submission? Do you find it easy or hard to talk about your needs? Do you expect your domme to be able to trad your mind or do you like to ask for your needs?

Makes me feel nice when someone thinks enough to think for me