Cock Map

[Trekka]

How do you feel about kumquats?

(Apparently only Australians spell them cumquats )

Soooo can we talk about loquats?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Soooo can we talk about loquats?

I’ve never heard of them before, but they look like balls inside a vagina.

 

[Trekka]

I’ve never heard of them before, but they look like balls inside a vagina.

Or is it a vagina inside of a set of balls?
Enigmatic little fruit, eh?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Or is it a vagina inside of a set of balls?
Enigmatic little fruit, eh?

 

[hotwords229_A]

Soooo can we talk about loquats?

Maybe loquats should be renamed the "Pear of Balls".
Think of the possibilities:
"Hey Grandma, do you need anything from the store?"
"Yes, please get me a few Pears of Balls. Nice big juicy ones."

 

[hotwords229_A]

I just found out about the “shampoo challenge”.
Rest assured I will be going out and getting one of those hotel shampoo bottles so it will look HUUGGEE.

Now my question is: Is How Much Weight Can You Balance on your Dick the new How Big Is It?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Now my question is: Is How Much Weight Can You Balance on your Dick the new How Big Is It?

I have many a fond memory of drunken friends performing the wet towel challenge at 3am on many random weekends.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I have many a fond memory of drunken friends performing the wet towel challenge at 3am on many random weekends.

Wet towel challenge? Now I have to look that up!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Wet towel challenge? Now I have to look that up!

I don't know if it got internet notoriety. This was back in the early 2000s when Aussies still didn't really have access. It was a bunch of drunken dudes who got plastered and attempted to keep a wet towel up with their erections. They started with dish towels and progressed up to bath sheets. Most guys couldn't get past the dish towel.

 

[BongoGal]

I once read an adult personals ad of a woman who was very specific about the kind of male sex partner she was looking for. She stressed that if his erect penis could fit into a toilet paper tube, then she was not interested. This fascinated me. I soon got in touch with the only penis I had access to at the time and immediately put him to the test. He passed! (That means he didn't fit.)

 

[sherbetburps]

Women’s boobs are measured in fruit ya know. A little behind grope and you’re good fo go!

Yeah, but what if it’s like, one of those fruits...in the bottom of a sock? We need a scale for that. I’m orange-grapefruit in an ankle sock and I expect the situation to have progressed to tube-sock level in about 20 years.

 

[Endless_Night]

I once read an adult personals ad of a woman who was very specific about the kind of male sex partner she was looking for. She stressed that if his erect penis could fit into a toilet paper tube, then she was not interested. This fascinated me. I soon got in touch with the only penis I had access to at the time and immediately put him to the test. He passed! (That means he didn't fit.)

One wonders how a toilet paper tube became the measurement article of choice.



Yep. Still wondering.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I don't know if it got internet notoriety. This was back in the early 2000s when Aussies still didn't really have access. It was a bunch of drunken dudes who got plastered and attempted to keep a wet towel up with their erections. They started with dish towels and progressed up to bath sheets. Most guys couldn't get past the dish towel.

I’m guessing the being drunk part is what made it difficult? I feel like I could throw a wet towel into the washing machine with my dick.

I can’t wait to take a shower tomorrow.

I once read an adult personals ad of a woman who was very specific about the kind of male sex partner she was looking for. She stressed that if his erect penis could fit into a toilet paper tube, then she was not interested. This fascinated me. I soon got in touch with the only penis I had access to at the time and immediately put him to the test. He passed! (That means he didn't fit.)

I remember this one. I remember thinking there was no way I was thicker than a toilet paper tube. I remember feeling tremendous pride and relief when it didn’t fit.

Call me a reverse, modern day Cinderella. Tinderfella?

Yeah, but what if it’s like, one of those fruits...in the bottom of a sock? We need a scale for that. I’m orange-grapefruit in an ankle sock and I expect the situation to have progressed to tube-sock level in about 20 years.

So you like balls that hang below the knees?

 

[BongoGal]

One wonders how a toilet paper tube became the measurement article of choice.

Yep. Still wondering.

There is also a dollar bill test. A cock must be thick enough when hard that a dollar bill won't have its edges touch when wrapped around it. I guess that it means that I am visual-spatially challenged because I thought for sure that a bill would easily overlap the one I tried it on. Nope. It was big enough.

 

[sherbetburps]

So you like balls that hang below the knees?

I was going back to tiddies for a sec, but speaking of low-hanging fruit, I have witnessed balls that were still sitting on the bed when their owner was close to half-way through standing up. They really do sag with age! *witnessed this in an aged-care capacity, not a friskytimes capacity, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I’m making similar observations in the latter context.

*edit to clarify: by “a matter of time” I mean: as time marches on and I age, its likely that whoever I sleep with is likely to be older, too; I don’t mean it’s only a matter of time before I get frisky with someone under my care. Just thought I’d mention that.

 

[RaineDrops]

One wonders how a toilet paper tube became the measurement article of choice.



Yep. Still wondering.

There is also a dollar bill test. A cock must be thick enough when hard that a dollar bill won't have its edges touch when wrapped around it. I guess that it means that I am visual-spatially challenged because I thought for sure that a bill would easily overlap the one I tried it on. Nope. It was big enough.

Now I’m curious. I will have to test this out.

 

[Endless_Night]

There is also a dollar bill test. A cock must be thick enough when hard that a dollar bill won't have its edges touch when wrapped around it. I guess that it means that I am visual-spatially challenged because I thought for sure that a bill would easily overlap the one I tried it on. Nope. It was big enough.

Now a dollar bill I can kinda see as a measurement option; they are so readily available, but…a toilet paper holder?

Now I’m curious. I will have to test this out.

The thread awaits your results.

 

[RaineDrops]

Now a dollar bill I can kinda see as a measurement option; they are so readily available, but…a toilet paper holder?



The thread awaits your results.

You will have to wait. I don’t think I have any dollar bills handy lol

 

[hotwords229_A]

I was going back to tiddies for a sec, but speaking of low-hanging fruit, I have witnessed balls that were still sitting on the bed when their owner was close to half-way through standing up. They really do sag with age! *witnessed this in an aged-care capacity, not a friskytimes capacity, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before I’m making similar observations in the latter context.

*edit to clarify: by “a matter of time” I mean: as time marches on and I age, its likely that whoever I sleep with is likely to be older, too; I don’t mean it’s only a matter of time before I get frisky with someone under my care. Just thought I’d mention that.

Now I can’t wait to get old.
Unless it’s really hot, my balls never hung low enough for my liking. Although when I lived in Florida I do remember sitting on them from time to time and that was not enjoyable. So, maybe I’m better off?

There is also a dollar bill test. A cock must be thick enough when hard that a dollar bill won't have its edges touch when wrapped around it. I guess that it means that I am visual-spatially challenged because I thought for sure that a bill would easily overlap the one I tried it on. Nope. It was big enough.

Monopoly money doesn’t count.

 

[sherbetburps]

Now I can’t wait to get old.
Unless it’s really hot, my balls never hung low enough for my liking. Although when I lived in Florida I do remember sitting on them from time to time and that was not enjoyable. So, maybe I’m better off?



Monopoly money doesn’t count.

WTF do you want low-hanging balls for? So you can teabag the toilet water when you sit down? Be happy with yours the way they are

 

[hotwords229_A]

WTF do you want low-hanging balls for? So you can teabag the toilet water when you sit down? Be happy with yours the way they are

I know, there is no use for them hanging low. I just like the low-er hanging look, instead of the tight balls look.
It’s completely irrational.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I know, there is no use for them hanging low. I just like the low-er hanging look, instead of the tight balls look.
It’s completely irrational.

I'm so glad we're getting to know you like this.
I didn't realise I had a ball sack preference until you outsted yourself like that. I too am fond of a full, low hanging scrotum.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

I'm so glad we're getting to know you like this.
I didn't realise I had a ball sack preference until you outsted yourself like that. I too am fond of a full, low hanging scrotum.

They come with age, or is that cum with age? Eh, I don't know, I think they get bigger too

 

[hotwords229_A]

I'm so glad we're getting to know you like this.
I didn't realise I had a ball sack preference until you outsted yourself like that. I too am fond of a full, low hanging scrotum.

They are just more aesthetically pleasing when they hang a little lower.

I’m sure Aussie already knows this, but I just found out that there is a thing called an Orchidometer that measure testicle size.

There is also a questionable (in my opinion) scientific study suggesting that if your ring finger is longer than your index finger then you may have bigger balls AND be more prone to testicular/prostate cancer! How can this be legit?

Mine are almost equal so I’ll pretend I’m in the clear.

 

[Trekka]

Now I can’t wait to get old.
Unless it’s really hot, my balls never hung low enough for my liking. Although when I lived in Florida I do remember sitting on them from time to time and that was not enjoyable. So, maybe I’m better off?

Monopoly money doesn’t count.

It’s the heat.