Cock Map

[aussiegeekygal]

I asked a question in a thread somewhere, but I don’t remember where and I guess nobody responded about dildos, or sex toys in general, and their appearance. Does the toy have to be attractive more than functional? If it was ugly as hell, but promised pure heaven, would you try it? Asking anyone.

I'd probably give it a whirl.
I don't feel the same way about penises though. I do like them to be somewhat pretty.

But an orgasm is an orgasm.
Horny Aussie does make some questionable decisions

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Someone who thought that up and others buy it…

I too have questions I just lack bravery. If you curate a visual guide let me know.

Dude.


Feel free to sugar coat when you relay it back!

Please.


(Totally serious. I live somewhere in the hell between Curiosity and Terror.

Is that one of Dante's circles? Should be. )

That article and site were solid gold entertainment. How can you not love Guillermo del Toro talking about how he spent years making the fish man sexy?! “Rather than focusing on the creature’s face, hands, or mouth, del Toro made the excellent decision to simply give the fish man a nice ass.” His wife and daughters were his focus group

Plus any list that mentions the sexiness of the Babadook and Jack Skellington speaks to my sense of humor. And the names of those toys?! I cannot stop giggling.

• Bork
• Blip
• Ovipositor
• G’lorp
• Krubera
• Splorch
• Bed Bug
• Brogoth
• Squick

Also, did you know you make your own eggs for these toys? In different sizes! And there’s an egg insertion tool you have to get with the egg toys. So bizarrely fascinating. I really want to talk to someone about this fetish because I have all the questions. I feel like @Trekka would back me up on this

All in all, is it that different from Bad Dragon (recommended by @Justadesperatewifeandmom and they only make monster dildos and toys) which is hugely popular? I mean inserting gelatin eggs is an extra level for sure, but I think my mental jump to monster cock toys was a much bigger adjustment

Things that gave me pause:

• The Pennywise fetish and tongue dildo with TEETH on Etsy
• The sheer SIZE of most of those toys. Like I don’t think they would fit in my abdomen even if I didn’t have a uterus

 

[hotwords229_A]

The sheer SIZE of most of those toys. Like I don’t think they would fit in my abdomen even if I didn’t have a uterus

I didn’t go so far as to notice the size (I just looked at the pics ), but upon further review, using the soda can for scale . . . !

 

[Endless_Night]

I went in, too.
The eggs were... interesting. Like oversized pessaries.

That just makes it sound medical.

Which is -

Not necessarily an improvement. . . .

I asked a question in a thread somewhere, but I don’t remember where and I guess nobody responded about dildos, or sex toys in general, and their appearance. Does the toy have to be attractive more than functional? If it was ugly as hell, but promised pure heaven, would you try it? Asking anyone.

Like ugly like appliance like? I mean, sure? I'd have to agree with Aussie. Functional is functional.

With this stuff, it's just the . . . .

Honestly, I'm not sure. Perhaps the novelty of this stuff is more revealing as to the fantasies percolating in people's brains. Generally speaking, I don't want to know what other people are thinking.

#rulestoliveby


I stand firm on that.

 

[Endless_Night]

That article and site were solid gold entertainment.

Thank you!! First rate synopsis.

I mean inserting gelatin eggs is an extra level for sure, but I think my mental jump to monster cock toys was a much bigger adjustment

When I first stumbled onto tentacle porn I was completely mortified. (Oh, man. )

Now, that seems relatively ... normal?

This ovipositor thing slammed me right back to mortified. Eesh.

Lit. Always a learning experience.


* * *

Things that gave you pause that gave me pause pause.

The Pennywise fetish and tongue dildo with TEETH on Etsy

TEETH?

The sheer SIZE of most of those toys. Like I don’t think they would fit in my abdomen even if I didn’t have a uterus

This leaves me confused. So are they actually useable then, or just for . . . idk, show? If they, per
@hotwords229_A, dwarf a soda can , that just does not seem practical in any way . . .

Serious question. Are they meant for use?

How? On . . . who?

 

[Lord Pmann]

If it was ugly as hell, but promised pure heaven, would you try it?

Of course they would. Otherwise, I'd be a virgin.

 

[hotwords229_A]

This leaves me confused. So are they actually useable then, or just for . . . idk, show? If they, per
@hotwords229_A, dwarf a soda can , that just does not seem practical in any way . . .

Serious question. Are they meant for use?

How? On . . . who?

It dwarfed a soda can more in length than girth, so . . .

 

[hotwords229_A]

When I first stumbled onto tentacle porn I was completely mortified. (Oh, man. )

Now, that seems relatively ... normal?

This ovipositor thing slammed me right back to mortified. Eesh.

So you’re saying it’s just a waiting game.

 

[Endless_Night]

It dwarfed a soda can more in length than girth, so . . .

Are you implying that as an inducement?

Be. Cause. It. Is. Not.




(I am even more curious to see now. Maybe I can talk myself into entering. Later. Laaaaater. )

 

[Endless_Night]

So you’re saying it’s just a waiting game.

I AM NOT.


You are going to give me nightmares, Muscles.

 

[Endless_Night]

These, arranged as they are in the pic, with the layered color palettes, are rather pretty in their own neon-esque way. It's the application where the mind boggles. Add that to what appears to be a questionable size component and the mind just

 

[aussiegeekygal]

These, arranged as they are in the pic, with the layered color palettes, are rather pretty in their own neon-esque way. It's the application where the mind boggles. Add that to what appears to be a questionable size component and the mind just

The tip reminds me of a lemon juicer.
What exactly are they trying to do to my cervix, hrm??

 

[Endless_Night]

The tip reminds me of a lemon juicer.
What exactly are they trying to do to my cervix, hrm??

Yup. Should've listed shape in addition to size and application.

(All those angles and ridged sucker shapes. )

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Thank you!! First rate synopsis.


When I first stumbled onto tentacle porn I was completely mortified. (Oh, man. )

Now, that seems relatively ... normal?

I remember wondering if I was more prude than I thought when my first reaction was immediately recoiling from the giant dragon dildos

This ovipositor thing slammed me right back to mortified. Eesh.

Lit. Always a learning experience.


Things that gave you pause that gave me pause pause.

TEETH?

Yes, teeth. I made the executive decision to not share any more details for fear of permanently traumatizing you.

This leaves me confused. So are they actually useable then, or just for . . . idk, show? If they, per
@hotwords229_A, dwarf a soda can , that just does not seem practical in any way . . .

Serious question. Are they meant for use?

How? On . . . who?

I can only assume they’re meant for cavernous cunts. Or like the magic extendable bags in film and tv. An infinitely expandable cunt?

I am even more curious to see now. Maybe I can talk myself into entering. Later. Laaaaater. )

Meet G’lorp. He’s the size of a small pet. The kind with tentacles. Over one whole foot of slimy torture adventure awaits!

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

I remember wondering if I was more prude than I thought when my first reaction was immediately recoiling from the giant dragon dildos


Yes, teeth. I made the executive decision to not share any more details for fear of permanently traumatizing you.


I can only assume they’re meant for cavernous cunts. Or like the magic extendable bags in film and tv. An infinitely expandable cunt?


Meet G’lorp. He’s the size of a small pet. The kind with tentacles. Over one whole foot of slimy torture adventure awaits!

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Sheesh. How are men even supposed to compete with those things?

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Sheesh. How are men even supposed to compete with those things?

Please never try! Seriously. I prefer the Goldilocks cock - big enough that I can enjoy it, but not so large that my cervix feels like it’s being punched

 

[Lord Pmann]

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You have the biggest sex toy collection I’ve ever seen.

And by biggest I mean in size, not number.

(I realize these aren’t yours, but I want the vast quantities of people who read all my posts to see this and think your vagina is massive. You know, because of the horse thing.)

 

[Lord Pmann]

Sheesh. How are men even supposed to compete with those things?

If you fuck a dragon, it gives your dick superpowers.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

You have the biggest sex toy collection I’ve ever seen.

And by biggest I mean in size, not number.

(I realize these aren’t yours, but I want the vast quantities of people who read all my posts to see this and think your vagina is massive. You know, because of the horse thing.)

Oh, hell no! I do not own a single toy capable of splitting me in two.

But you wouldn’t be entirely incorrect if you were talking about number. I’ve found a double card catalog is ideal for sex toy storage. Each dick gets its own box

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

Horny Aussie does make some questionable decisions

You and me both

 

[Endless_Night]

Yes, teeth. I made the executive decision to not share any more details for fear of permanently traumatizing you.

Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you.

* * *
<pic snip because I can't keep looking>

O.M.G.

The ovipositor has a tentacled base!!!

. . . . . .

My mind just blanked for like three minutes. Sometimes it feels like I should have alcohol available before opening this thread.

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Who is using these things?! Who? WHO?

Wait. The shaft circumference with - and I can't believe I'm saying this - egg, is larger than without? So, you can feel when it's being . . . delivered?



*thunk*

 

[Endless_Night]

If you fuck a dragon, it gives you dick superpowers.

*ears perk*

 

[Endless_Night]

Oh!! It just struck me.

I thought these were a set. Tentacle porn is tentacles, right? Tentacles. Plural. But based on the sample pics @LadyLascivious1 posted, these . . . errr, toys, are sold as singles.

These aren't a set, are they?


Why is this realization vaguely unnerving?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Oh!! It just struck me.

I thought these were a set. Tentacle porn is tentacles, right? Tentacles. Plural. But based on the sample pics @LadyLascivious1 posted, these . . . errr, toys, are sold as singles.

These aren't a set, are they?


Why is this realization vaguely unnerving?

You are especially freaky to have thought that.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Oh!! It just struck me.

I thought these were a set. Tentacle porn is tentacles, right? Tentacles. Plural. But based on the sample pics @LadyLascivious1 posted, these . . . errr, toys, are sold as singles.

These aren't a set, are they?


Why is this realization vaguely unnerving?

I am not aware of any law saying they can’t be sold or purchased as a set.
And yes, tentacles are plural so . . . Let’s make a movie!