Female centric stories

[Statius]

Not all women menstruate. So the women who don't wouldn't know how it feels.

Not to get involved in this argument, but I do believe they were making a generalized comment, not getting into hair splitting to the nth degree. And as far as generalized comments go, they're not really wrong no matter how poorly this forum takes those types comments.

 

[Stanfield2025]

And from this perspective, I'd say that I was mostly criticizing the lack of character background and development in her story. There was no compelling reason offered for her young guy behaving in such an uncharacteristic way.

If we write very atypical characters of either gender, we should build them up properly and offer at least some reasons for their atypical behavior. It doesn't have to be anything spectacular; it just needs to be enough not to stretch our disbelief too much.

As a straight guy myself, I sure as hell wouldn't want a bunch of strangers, or even acquaintances, objectifying me for my dick size. Even if they're women. I get what you're saying, but imo a guy not wanting to be objectified isn't a phenomenon that needs a compelling explanation. If I read that in a story I'd probably take notice, but I wouldn't think it's unrealistic in any way.

I don't know the story being referred to here, but I'd be really curious as to whether the young guy in it does anything or says anything to contradict his dislike of being objectified. Cause if the answer is no, I would argue it isn't getting the male experience wrong. It's just showing an aspect of the male experience that is not typically shown.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Try putting tampons in their grocery cart

Don't tempt me, Dead Poet Society

 

[Statius]

Don't tempt me, Dead Poet Society

Too GD funny to respond to. LMFAO here

 

[Stanfield2025]

Not to get involved in this argument, but I do believe they were making a generalized comment, not getting into hair splitting to the nth degree. And as far as generalized comments go, they're not really wrong no matter how poorly this forum takes those thpes comments.

It still gets at my point though. If a woman who doesn't menstruate gets menstruation wrong while writing a story, are they failing to write a woman's experience? Did they fail at getting the female perspective? I don't think there are many experiences you could point to and say "all women/all men know how that feels and none would get that wrong, ever."

This part isn't directed at you in particular: in general, if we're so worried about getting experiences right that aren't our own, gender isn't one of the more important ones. As pointed out by someone else in this forum (though I can't recall who), tons of people write BDSM without knowing much about it. Yet I don't see people agonizing over getting BDSM right, at least not to the degree that people agonize over getting the female experience right. I don't see people hand-wringing over accurately portraying races, either. Maybe some people do, but I have yet to come across a thread yet that's about "black centric stories" or whatever.

I think it's worth reflecting on why we care so much about accurately portraying the female experience over other experiences.

 

[Statius]

Most of my stories are F POV 1st person. Not one complaint from readers, and yet I would not argue against the generalized point being made. I also don't think it's worth all the hand wringing, either; especially when it comes to hair splitting arguments which I don't think was the posters intention to begin with.

 

[PennyThompson]

So let me get this straight. You had the audacity to talk about menstruation AND sports in the same story?! Hopefully not on the same page at least? And did the sports come after or before? Last impressions matter

Well the sports starts earlier, then there's the crossdressing and the weird sex dreams, then the menses and The Big Game happen all at once, which causes...

Look, I know some of my stories are niche, okay? My venn diagram is weird, deal with it or don't

 

[Stanfield2025]

There is also the concept of 'applied knowledge'. I have not ( I swear your honour) ever murdered anyone and so theoretically I cannot know what it would be like to want to murder someone, right? Well I remember being shown quite clearly how you could use an experience you have had, and apply the knowledge and emotions to an experience you've never had.
e.g.
I'm sitting in a room reading and a loud buzzing insect flies by. It's buzzing is annoying. It's buzzing is so annoying that I become angry. I don't want to open windows or I'll let more bugs in and so I shut the door and decide to try to kill the fly. After all it's only a fly. Not consequential. My comfort and relaxation is more important than the fly's life. I plan how I'm going to kill the fly with cold distance, totally dispassionate about the fact that I am about to extinguish a life. I roll up a magazine. I listen for the fly. When I spot the fly I follow it until it lands on a flat surface. I swing and hit the wall. Bam! I check the wall. The traces of fly are mashed into the wall. I get a tissue to dispose of the corpse. I settle back to reading my book, happy that my life is back to normal. I am a murderer but I don't care.

Can I apply this to a story? Of course. The fly becomes another human being. The annoyance at buzzing becomes a rationale in the murderer's head that justifies the death of the other human. The rolled magazine becomes an appropriate murder weapon. The murderer kills the other human, just like I did with the fly. They dispose of the body and congratulate themselves for a job well done.

If as the author I've been able to tap into the emotions I felt or didn't feel as I swatted that fly I can likely make the thoughts/emotions and motivations of the murder believable. That is where the skill of the author comes into play.

Idk if it's the same, but I once wrote a hitman character's thought process off of a video I saw of a police officer who described what it was like to conduct stakeouts and get used to the idea of killing people on the job. Nobody commented on the hitman in the story, but I'm confident I did his POV justice.

I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned here yet (or maybe I haven't seen it) but as authors we can watch people recount their experiences along with their emotions during those experiences, imagine ourselves in those experiences, and translate those experiences to our stories. YouTube, documentaries, biographies, all these things are resources we can use to tell stories about people we will never be.

 

[Duil2]

Idk if it's the same, but I once wrote a hitman character's thought process off of a video I saw of a police officer who described what it was like to conduct stakeouts and get used to the idea of killing people on the job. Nobody commented on the hitman in the story, but I'm confident I did his POV justice.

I'm surprised it hasn't been mentioned here yet (or maybe I haven't seen it) but as authors we can watch people recount their experiences along with their emotions during those experiences, imagine ourselves in those experiences, and translate those experiences to our stories. YouTube, documentaries, biographies, all these things are resources we can use to tell stories about people we will never be.

Yep we have talked above about putting in the effort to understand as best you can an experience you haven't had as an author by doing research. Again it circles back to my earlier point.

For me it boils down to this.
We all can write whatever we choose.
To my mind then there are two factors that will dictate whether what we write is 'good'/'right' or not (it'll never be perfect).
1. Talent as a writer
2. How much effort we are prepared to put in to get it as close to 'right' or 'good' as possible.

While in one way there is too much information out there, to my mind, and it can be difficult to sift it when you need to find out something particular (although the dreaded AI can assist with that), it is also an age now for authors where almost any experience is at your fingertips.

As you say with YouTube etc etc it's oh so likely someone will have captured that human condition, in some form. somewhere. Whether you bother to go and find it before you write, is your choice.

Personally, while the reader may not be inspired to comment one way or the other, I believe they will feel the difference in the end result. As an author it's up to you, whether you want to take your reader into account or not as you write.

Is one way better or worse? That's all subjective - no two opinions will be the same - to which this thread can attest.

 

[Voboy]

I just wrote a menstrual-cramp scene into my new WiP, and this thread is the reason why.

We'll see what the readers say. Bring it!

 

[lovecraft68]

A personal example for this thread. Consider it a mini "what I wrote and why"

In a novel I create a mob lieutenant with a little scarface resemblance, cokehead, crazy, vicious, people are afraid him, nickname is mad dog. Stereotype alpha 'real man' in every way.

Near the end of the book and on one of those muse driven whims I think, hey, let's give him a secret, he's on the down low and likes ladyboys. A have a brief scene where this is revealed and you meet his very feminine boytoy. Not a detailed sex scene because they're interrupted but enough you know what was going on.

Okay, nice and easy.

Then I decide to make the standalone into a series and get to a point being this is erotica, that I need a sex scene between the two.

Problem: I'm straight, never been with a guy, what do I do?

Problem solving: I have never given a blowjob but I've received them, know what it feels like, know what I like, the scene is from the mafioso's POV so I only need to have him describe feelings I know except its a guy giving it to him.

Sex: Never received Anal, but have had it with women, same game, I know what it feels like just the other side of it is a guy

But that's only the physical, what's going on in his head? It dawns on me that he has always had to keep this secret and raised in a culture where being gay is awful and would get you disowned and in that family maybe whacked (just see those slugs the Sopranos and that storyline) so I get the idea he hates that he likes this. As an aside, my wife is 100% Sicilian and let me tell you her uncles and aunts, were every ist in the book so being gay just in that culture was very wrong to them, let alone throwing the mafia crap into it.

So the scene is not just about sex but you learn a lot about the character, flashing back to a memory of him and his friends finding a bunch of dirty magazines and one was of men and his friend tossed it away but later on he sneaks it out of the trash and looks at it and finds it excites him. His father finding the magazine-but with 'girlie' magazines as well but still severely beats him saying he better not be into that 'faggot shit'

Thinking how he has sex with women to keep up his ruse and imagines them as young (but of age okay?) boys and that's the only way he can stay hard-along with coke-and get through it. Literally living a sexual lie and using women just often enough so no one is suspicious

Okay, but those aren't my experiences, so I have it on paper, now make it believable, but how? Again, nothing I have been through

But write what you know. What do I know? I know rage, I know self loathing and I know fucked up. Let's apply that, let's put those familiar emotions into this situation. Let my unsavory trait of being pissed off at the world and put it in his world.

What I ended up with was a rough hatefuck style scene. Even in the midst of enjoying it he is angry that he is. He's degrading to his partner, he's rough with him, like its his lovers fault he wants him, and in his mind can still hear his father and other people he knows slinging gay slurs. When he's done, he's satisfied but then mad at himself. The cycle of his life.

There was an author here at the time I was friendly with who is gay and wrote GM stories and I asked him to take a look and don't hold back. He was seriously impressed because he said there are a lot of men like that out there, he's known a couple, and my description of the emotions was dead on, the self hatred, the angst, but that overwhelming need. He said I nailed the shit out of it. he did give a couple of pointers in regard to a couple of sexual descriptions but for the most part it was a spot on portrayal.

Because how it worked was I took something I didn't know but applied what I did and just spun the context. I also adapted the scene and characters personal issues to coincide with some of mine. That made it the dreaded word in this thread "Authentic"

Or I could have simply not tried which some people seem to think range from being wrong to try in general up to the tired "you don't have the right to write someone you're not"

As long as you give it a sincere effort, there is nothing wrong with writing as very different people, its what the damn craft is all about.

 

[Ianus4]

On the other hand, I remember a thread in the Story Feedback forum a few years ago, started by a female author. It was about her story that featured a young male character. That character was a young guy who had been talking to a high school (female) psychologist about his problem. And the problem was that girls objectified him because he had a large penis. He was all sad and broken about it.

Anyway, my comment was that guys don't act like that. A realistic guy, especially a young guy, would embrace the objectification, pumping his fists in triumph. He wouldn't be all broken about it and pouring his heart out to a psychologist. I remember the author being somewhat offended at my criticism and saying, "Well, MY guys do act like that!"

Looking back at it, I'd say that both of us were right. I think I was right that most guys would never behave like that. And she was also right in saying that some guy could realistically behave like that.

I remember a comment from a black guy under the "She Has a Date" series by @metropolinational, in which he complained that he felt objectified because of the current trend of the BBC fetish.
And in the comment section of another story, some guy pointed out that something like that is even racist.

 

[nice90sguy]

I have an account on literotica I thought that was taken as read?

Yes, but my (admittedly elliptical) point was that "teenager" pretty much implies "feeling out of place"

 

[EmilyMiller]

While I obviously support writing women as more than sexdolls (unless it’s a story where all the characters are sexdolls), I don’t really buy into the erotica written for women idea.

It’s at best erotica written for some women, and not others. There is an underlying assumption that all women want to read slow burn, quasi-romantic, gentle love-making. Of course some do. But others might want to get to the extreme sex ASAP.

Some women like chick lit, some like Dostoevsky. Both are valid choices, and we aren’t some homogenous blob, we are a collection of very different individuals.

 

[MelissaBaby]

While I obviously support writing women as more than sexdolls (unless it’s a story where all the characters are sexdolls), I don’t really buy into the erotica written for women idea.

It’s at best erotica written for some women, and not others. There is an underlying assumption that all women want to read slow burn, quasi-romantic, gentle love-making. Of course some do. But others might want to get to the extreme sex ASAP.

Some women like chick lit, some like Dostoevsky. Both are valid choices, and we aren’t some homogenous blob, we are a collection of very different individuals.

I run into this now and then. Someone will read a story like Wild Birds of Maine and think "Oh, good, what a sweet romance, I'll read more of her stuff," and they choose Abby and the Outlaws and on the first page the
'heroine" sucks a guy's dick and as he comes, bashes his brains out with a metal tray.

I'm not just one thing, and I don't expect my readership to be one thing either.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'm not just one thing, and I don't expect my readership to be one thing either.

Exactly

 

[EmilyMiller]

Some women like chick lit, some like Dostoevsky.

Some like both, obv.

 

[StillStunned]

I run into this now and then. Someone will read a story like Wild Birds of Maine and think "Oh, good, what a sweet romance, I'll read more of her stuff," and they choose Abby and the Outlaws and on the first page the
'heroine" sucks a guy's dick and as he comes, bashes his brains out with a metal tray.

I'm not just one thing, and I don't expect my readership to be one thing either.

OMG, it's almost like you're a real person!!!

 

[sirhugs]

Some like both, obv.

Now that's just plainly impossible

 

[EmilyMiller]

Now that's just plainly impossible

I like Jacques Torres and Reese’s Pieces…

 

[sirhugs]

I like Jacques Torres and Reese’s Pieces…

Reese's Pieces are a weak brand extension riding on the coattails of Reese's Peanut Butter cups.
Next, you'll be claiming that Sean Connery wasn't the only REAL Bond.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Reese's Pieces are a weak brand extension riding on the coattails of Reese's Peanut Butter cups.
Next, you'll be claiming that Sean Connery wasn't the only REAL Bond.

Team Craig I’m afraid

 

[Stanfield2025]

A personal example for this thread. Consider it a mini "what I wrote and why"

In a novel I create a mob lieutenant with a little scarface resemblance, cokehead, crazy, vicious, people are afraid him, nickname is mad dog. Stereotype alpha 'real man' in every way.

Near the end of the book and on one of those muse driven whims I think, hey, let's give him a secret, he's on the down low and likes ladyboys. A have a brief scene where this is revealed and you meet his very feminine boytoy. Not a detailed sex scene because they're interrupted but enough you know what was going on.

Okay, nice and easy.

Then I decide to make the standalone into a series and get to a point being this is erotica, that I need a sex scene between the two.

Problem: I'm straight, never been with a guy, what do I do?

Problem solving: I have never given a blowjob but I've received them, know what it feels like, know what I like, the scene is from the mafioso's POV so I only need to have him describe feelings I know except its a guy giving it to him.

Sex: Never received Anal, but have had it with women, same game, I know what it feels like just the other side of it is a guy

But that's only the physical, what's going on in his head? It dawns on me that he has always had to keep this secret and raised in a culture where being gay is awful and would get you disowned and in that family maybe whacked (just see those slugs the Sopranos and that storyline) so I get the idea he hates that he likes this. As an aside, my wife is 100% Sicilian and let me tell you her uncles and aunts, were every ist in the book so being gay just in that culture was very wrong to them, let alone throwing the mafia crap into it.

So the scene is not just about sex but you learn a lot about the character, flashing back to a memory of him and his friends finding a bunch of dirty magazines and one was of men and his friend tossed it away but later on he sneaks it out of the trash and looks at it and finds it excites him. His father finding the magazine-but with 'girlie' magazines as well but still severely beats him saying he better not be into that 'faggot shit'

Thinking how he has sex with women to keep up his ruse and imagines them as young (but of age okay?) boys and that's the only way he can stay hard-along with coke-and get through it. Literally living a sexual lie and using women just often enough so no one is suspicious

Okay, but those aren't my experiences, so I have it on paper, now make it believable, but how? Again, nothing I have been through

But write what you know. What do I know? I know rage, I know self loathing and I know fucked up. Let's apply that, let's put those familiar emotions into this situation. Let my unsavory trait of being pissed off at the world and put it in his world.

What I ended up with was a rough hatefuck style scene. Even in the midst of enjoying it he is angry that he is. He's degrading to his partner, he's rough with him, like its his lovers fault he wants him, and in his mind can still hear his father and other people he knows slinging gay slurs. When he's done, he's satisfied but then mad at himself. The cycle of his life.

There was an author here at the time I was friendly with who is gay and wrote GM stories and I asked him to take a look and don't hold back. He was seriously impressed because he said there are a lot of men like that out there, he's known a couple, and my description of the emotions was dead on, the self hatred, the angst, but that overwhelming need. He said I nailed the shit out of it. he did give a couple of pointers in regard to a couple of sexual descriptions but for the most part it was a spot on portrayal.

Because how it worked was I took something I didn't know but applied what I did and just spun the context. I also adapted the scene and characters personal issues to coincide with some of mine. That made it the dreaded word in this thread "Authentic"

Or I could have simply not tried which some people seem to think range from being wrong to try in general up to the tired "you don't have the right to write someone you're not"

As long as you give it a sincere effort, there is nothing wrong with writing as very different people, its what the damn craft is all about.

Yeah, I did something similar when I wrote a young lesbian woman character who falls in lust with her aunt. I don't have any 19-year old lesbian women on speed-dial to double-check if it's believable, but the story got several 5-stars and is sitting at a 4.05 now. So people liked it. I'll never know for sure how authentic it was, but I've gone ahead and assumed it was authentic enough.

 

[sijopunk]

Reese's Pieces are a weak brand extension riding on the coattails of Reese's Peanut Butter cups.

While cups are the unarguably superior chocolate (*) and peanut butter delivery vehicle, I wouldn't call pieces weak. They're good in a bowl to snack on.

(*) - I know how people outside of the US view Hershey's chocolate, and if you don't consider it chocolate you're not alone

 

[Voboy]

While cups are the unarguably superior chocolate (*) and peanut butter delivery vehicle, I wouldn't call pieces weak. They're good in a bowl to snack on.

(*) - I know how people outside of the US view Hershey's chocolate, and if you don't consider it chocolate you're not alone

I don't really put Reese's Pieces in the same category with Peanut Butter Cups.

I get that they're made by the same people, but there really aren't many similarities. Pieces are merely another kind of m&m, basically; Cups are a pinnacle of human culinary creativity.