Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover

[mortalwombat]

" "The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover"

So sang Paul Simon back in 1975/76. Not a bad song-except it doesn't actually give you 50 ways-the closest it does is:

"You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free"

I think we at Literotica can not only come up with the 50 that Paul Simon couldn't-but can actually come up with alot more! So on with the thinking caps-the more silly and ridiculous the better!

 

[mortalwombat]

i'll start the ball rolling

No 1: hot air balloon. not the fastest way but bloody hard for her/him to follow!

 

[mischevious eye]

2. take a speedboat: gets you out of there quickly

 

[mortalwombat]

3 Dodgem Car (or bumper car depending on where you're from) Not really effective as you're limited as to how far you can go and if he/she cuts the power you're sunk!

 

[mischevious eye]

4. Take a Taxi but it doesn't really seem fare (groan)

 

[mortalwombat]

4. Take a Taxi but it doesn't really seem fare (groan)

that was terrible-i laughed tho

5: secretly dig a tunnel from the bathroom to freedom!

 

[WyldBreeze]

6. stealth bomber........you can either leave quick under the radar or you can make him leave. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned *giggles*

 

[Tequila Sunrise]

7. Buy her a new broom, and while she's out for a test flight, just get in the car and leave.

 

[WyldBreeze]

7. Buy her a new broom, and while she's out for a test flight, just get in the car and leave.

LOL That was great! *still giggling*

 

[mortalwombat]

8: Honda pee wee 50 minibike-ok it will be a slow getaway but she/he cant chase you while they're pissing themselves laughing! I'm 6'1 and you have no idea how ridiculous i look on one of these!

 

[mischevious eye]

8: Honda pee wee 50 minibike-ok it will be a slow getaway but she/he cant chase you while they're pissing themselves laughing! I'm 6'1 and you have no idea how ridiculous i look on one of these!

LMAO
....

 

[hdlynnette]

9) That ever trusted going out for a loaf of bread....somewhere on the other side of the world.

 

[Raidho]

9) That ever trusted going out for a loaf of bread....somewhere on the other side of the world.

9b. That trusted going out for a loaf of bread...somewhere on the other side of the world ...
.... on a Harley.

 

[hdlynnette]

9b. That trusted going out for a loaf of bread...somewhere on the other side of the world ...
.... on a Harley.

Even better!

 

[mischevious eye]

10. Send them a post card.......C.O.D.

 

[cuzeyemwhateyem]

11. run away and join the circus ... she'll never recognise you under that clown makeup

 

[ima6uldv8]

12. Not the fastest but........leaving on a horse.

 

[ltnsfr007]

# 13- Send them an e-mail

(from the new lover's computer)

 

[australwind]

#14

Buy them a "Dive with Sharks" and offer to blood their wetsuit for them!

 

[cuzeyemwhateyem]

15. does the French Foreign Legion still exist... if so join up

 

[asian_princess]

16. Take your lover to a magic show for your next anniversary, volunteer them for the disappearing act, and slip the hot half naked assistant a twenty not to bring them back...(and ask for their number while you're at it, i'm nothing if not efficient )

 

[Missingmeds]

8: Honda pee wee 50 minibike-ok it will be a slow getaway but she/he cant chase you while they're pissing themselves laughing! I'm 6'1 and you have no idea how ridiculous i look on one of these!

I actually had the s/o sit on one of those just so I could see what you were talking about and you are right.....he is about your height and I couldn't help but laugh.

 

[australwind]

#17.

Take them Square Dancing and 'Dixie style to an Ocean Wave' and let them drown!

 

[mortalwombat]

I actually had the s/o sit on one of those just so I could see what you were talking about and you are right.....he is about your height and I couldn't help but laugh.

wow-the lengths people go to for realism! i haven't ridden one in years but i remember my knees being forward og the handlebars and my hands being sort of between my thighs. I was pretty bent over to get down to the handlebars as well. Funnily enough it was still fun.

 

[talikat]

18. Dump your babys daddy/mama on "Springer," LOL http://www.glbuzz.com/forums/style_emoticons/default/jerry.gif