Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[Bamagan]

Given the gnawing incisors characteristic of woodchucks, it is generally considered inadvisable to offer them morning wood.

What is 'emasculation?'

It is the hypothetical result of offering a woodchuck morning wood.

Anybody want a peanut?

 

[Winter_Fare]

It is the hypothetical result of offering a woodchuck morning wood.

Anybody want a peanut?

Yes please but don't they come in pairs?

How does flouncing work?

 

[MargotPayge]

Yes please but don't they come in pairs?

How does flouncing work?

It's a ratio of the weight of his ejaculate in fluid ounces to that of his dick in ounces. The act of measuring it is flouncing.

How many weddings can one attend in a single weekend?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

It's a ratio of the weight of his ejaculate in fluid ounces to that of his dick in ounces. The act of measuring it is flouncing.

How many weddings can one attend in a single weekend?

It's a function of the number of shotguns per household in your town.

Why did la Reine require Three Musketeers?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

It's a ratio of the weight of his ejaculate in fluid ounces to that of his dick in ounces. The act of measuring it is flouncing.

How many weddings can one attend in a single weekend?

If you can't find someone to fuck by the third venue, you should quit wedding crashing.

What's ballroom dancing?

 

[AlinaX]

It's a function of the number of shotguns per household in your town.

Why did la Reine require Three Musketeers?

One to distract the king, one to guard against the cardinal's men, and one to use his musket as god intended.

What's with all the garlic?

 

[Rustyoznail]

What's ballroom dancing?

(I'll go with this one)

The trying-to-be-subtle feet shifting when your balls escape your underpants.

Are contacts better than glasses?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

(I'll go with this one)

The trying-to-be-subtle feet shifting when your balls escape your underpants.

Are contacts better than glasses?

Either can get you laid; depends on who your intermediary knows and what's in the glasses.

Why do masons lay bricks?

 

[Bamagan]

Either can get you laid; depends on who your intermediary knows and what's in the glasses.

Why do masons lay bricks?

That's just what they call the people they have sex with, like how prostitutes turn tricks.

Why do bumbles bounce?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

That's just what they call the people they have sex with, like how prostitutes turn tricks.

Why do bumbles bounce?

"Bumbles," a pet name for a gf's derrière, bounce when the woman is tossed on a mattress or some other rebounding device, such as a trampoline.

What is the difference between a male and a female tramp?

 

[AlinaX]

Female tramps will sleep with anyone, male tramps will sleep with anything.

What's a dirigible?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Female tramps will sleep with anyone, male tramps will sleep with anything.

What's a dirigible?

A dirigible is a bloke who boasts of being well-endowed, but is found to be full of hot air.

What is a catamount? (I understand it serves as the mascot of the University of Vermont).

 

[Bamagan]

A dirigible is a bloke who boasts of being well-endowed, but is found to be full of hot air.

What is a catamount? (I understand it serves as the mascot of the University of Vermont).

It's a term that was popular in the 19th century as the cover charge at a brothel, which were known as cat houses.

What's a Christmas bonus?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

It's a term that was popular in the 19th century as the cover charge at a brothel, which were known as cat houses.

What's a Christmas bonus?

It's when you find your gf or wife has wrapped her best friend and left her under the tree for you to have a threesome on Christmas morning.

What's an "Easter Egg?"

 

[bbcbarry9033]

A specially decorated egg shaped vibrator w lady puts inside her ass before the Easter bunny gives her his carrot.

What is a lucky charm?

It's the teardrop shape in the middle of a perfect pearl necklace.

Why is 13 unlucky?

 

[AlinaX]

When you plan a clock (a 12-man bukkake session), it's traditional to invite a 13th man in case one of the others can't make it, but often No. 13 ends up as a spectator and doesn't get to finish.

Silk or cotton?

 

[Bamagan]

When you plan a clock (a 12-man bukkake session), it's traditional to invite a 13th man in case one of the others can't make it, but often No. 13 ends up as a spectator and doesn't get to finish.

Silk or cotton?

As prophylactics, neither is up to scratch, but the cotton does tend to be scratchy.

Jam or jelly?

 

[AlinaX]

Jelly is advised in the middle of a sandwich, and damn I could do with being in one right now.

What's special about the equinox?

 

[Bamagan]

Jelly is advised in the middle of a sandwich, and damn I could do with being in one right now.

What's special about the equinox?

It has the length of a horse's cock but the stamina of an ox's libido.

What are the worst animals to hybridize?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

A rooster and a sloth, you end up with a cock that just hangs there.

What is the capital of Nevada?

Bunny Ranches are the basis of wealth for many Nevadan investors.

Which mountain do many men want to climb on top of?

 

[AlinaX]

Men can think for themselves - or arguably can't - but Mons Veneris always makes for a delightful expedition with a splendid view; however, it can get very wet and taking protection is advised.

What is circadian rhythm?

 

[AchtungNight]

A dominatrix is your best bet for making your wife the best.

Why is a wife called 'the better half?'

I’m not sure. Maybe I should ask our unicorns who have called my spouse that.

 

[AchtungNight]

Men can think for themselves - or arguably can't - but Mons Veneris always makes for a delightful expedition with a splendid view; however, it can get very wet and taking protection is advised.

What is circadian rhythm?

It has something to do with insects. I think. The expression bugs me.

Can someone please think up a better explanation?

 

[Bamagan]

It has something to do with insects. I think. The expression bugs me.

Can someone please think up a better explanation?

The word 'explanation' can also be defined as when a young lady develops her breasts, as the process of emerging from (ex-[]-nation) a plane (a flat surface).

Is this lump anything to be worried about?

 

[AchtungNight]

The word 'explanation' can also be defined as when a young lady develops her breasts, as the process of emerging from (ex-[]-nation) a plane (a flat surface).

Is this lump anything to be worried about?

Sorry, I’m a psychologist PhD, not that kind of doctor! [dials phone] Hey, Tess, turn off your Companion or Sonic Screwdriver and get your TARDIS-type vehicle near mine asap! Alicia’s got a lump and we’re concerned her cancer is back! As the second most omni-disciplinary medical doctor I know, you better get over here! Call Dad too, just in case!

This answer was provided courtesy of my ficverse’s character Dr. Lisa Coleman. Yes, that’s right, folks, she’s _that_ kind of doctor. Or close enough to it so I don’t violate copyright but retaining similar powers.

Were you expecting someone else to reply?