Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[AlinaX]

Something about misunderstanding the protective footwear signs and wearing condoms on their feet.

When was love invented?

 

[Bamagan]

Something about misunderstanding the protective footwear signs and wearing condoms on their feet.

When was love invented?

When I lost the thumb of my helpfully labeled glove.

Who needs a breather?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Someone performing oral sex underwater.

What is a Hamburglar?

Someone who likes to sneak a taste of muff with special sauce.

What is an aerie?

 

[Bamagan]

Someone who likes to sneak a taste of muff with special sauce.

What is an aerie?

It's kind of like an RSVP. It stands for Anal Engagement- Reply if Excited.

What's the most dangerous bird?

 

[AlinaX]

My uncle would insist it's the thrush.

What does it mean to date badly?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

My uncle would insist it's the thrush.

What does it mean to date badly?

When you tell you partner that the sex was "bad," meaning good in a retro reverse sense, you've dated badly, and probably won't share that bed again.

What is this 'fascinator' I hear British women are partial to?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

When you tell you partner that the sex was "bad," meaning good in a retro reverse sense, you've dated badly, and probably won't share that bed again.

What is this 'fascinator' I hear British women are partial to?

When she showed him the muff, he got there damn fast 'an ate 'er!

What's a British pound?

 

[ulllli]

When she showed him the muff, he got there damn fast 'an ate 'er!

What's a British pound?

about ten times the weight of a fascinator

but what is a bush plane

 

[AlinaX]

A euphemism for oral sex in a two-seater aircraft in flight.

What's it like up there?

 

[Rustyoznail]

A euphemism for oral sex in a two-seater aircraft in flight.

What's it like up there?

Warm, wet, and tight.

How's it for you?

 

[AlinaX]

Let's just say: my nipples are very argumentative.

What happened at the Tannhauser gate?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Nobody really knows other than it was very wet and there were slippery fingers.

What's the best way to choose a new car?

Take it for a test drive to see how many girls it helps you pick up and if there's sufficient "head" room once they're in the passenger seat.

What is a "straight-A student?"

 

[AlinaX]

A girl learning to take a man anally, usually going on to graduate summa cum laude.

What are telescopes used for?

 

[Bamagan]

A girl learning to take a man anally, usually going on to graduate summa cum laude.

What are telescopes used for?

Studying boobs on heavenly bodies.

What are periscopes used for?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Studying boobs on heavenly bodies.

What are periscopes used for?

Taking a peek before coming up for air.

What are stethoscopes good for?

 

[Bamagan]

Taking a peek before coming up for air.

What are stethoscopes good for?

'Stet' is Latin for 'let it stand,' most commonly seen in editing and proofreading, but a stethoscope is a device used to detect where the hos are standing, or to confirm that one has found a ho, by the noise it makes.

Why do doctors make you say, 'Aah?'

 

[bbcbarry9033]

'Stet' is Latin for 'let it stand,' most commonly seen in editing and proofreading, but a stethoscope is a device used to detect where the hos are standing, or to confirm that one has found a ho, by the noise it makes.

Why do doctors make you say, 'Aah?'

Cause they're not plumbers. Pipe-layers make you say "Yes! Yeess! OH MY GODDD!!!"

What's a pipe wrench?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Cause they're not plumbers. Pipe-layers make you say "Yes! Yeess! OH MY GODDD!!!"

What's a pipe wrench?

A woman who's been doing her Kegels regularly.

What is an isotope?

 

[AlinaX]

An anagram of a place where scat fetishists gather.

Who uses margarine?

 

[Bamagan]

An anagram of a place where scat fetishists gather.

Who uses margarine?

Nearly everyone, although her friends call her 'Marge' and she just calls everyone, 'Next!'

What's the healthiest edible lubricant?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Nearly everyone, although her friends call her 'Marge' and she just calls everyone, 'Next!'

What's the healthiest edible lubricant?

Don't you mean 'drinkable'?

What's a flower moon?

 

[Bamagan]

Don't you mean 'drinkable'?

What's a flower moon?

That's when a woman bends over far enough to show off her ass and her petals.

What's the best kind of cheese?

 

[AlinaX]

Parmesan, cos it smells like ass.

What wine goes with it?

 

[Bamagan]

Parmesan, cos it smells like ass.

What wine goes with it?

If you're asking for a pairing with the cheese, perhaps a nice medium red like Negroamaro. But the best wine for ass is something sparkling, like Cava or Prosecco.

Who picks these names?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

If you're asking for a pairing with the cheese, perhaps a nice medium red like Negroamaro. But the best wine for ass is something sparkling, like Cava or Prosecco.

Who picks these names?

A woman named Mariella. She speaks in tongues when she has an orgasm, so. when a vintner has a new product, he gets a well-hung stud for Mariella, and she reciprocates with a name for the new wine.

Isn't glossolalia a purely religious phenomenon?