Fuck It: Refux

[RosewoodTulip]

For awhile (until she lost it somehow) we had a "day collar" bracelet that she wore. It had a lover's knot on it (bondage is her main kink) and looked very innocent if you didn't know what to look for. In fact, one of her friends asked where she got it because the thought it was cute. She had to talk around that, haha. Anyway, it was a fun kind of symbolism that I think she enjoyed. If she were up for it I'd love to do that again, we (moreso she) have extreme ups and downs when it comes to interest in things like that, so who knows.

I've seen day collars that are actual collars and look pretty innocent and tasteful, but they were just a bit too much for her.

I do admire how patient you are with the differences in need between you and your wife. I've seen you mention it in other posts too

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Fwiw, this is what it looked like. And you can choose the colors in the knot.

View attachment 2238281

That is very pretty and very discrete too

 

[tolyk]

I'd probably be more open to being led, but still not my thing. But what the fuck would I do with a dude on a leash?

Depends where the leash is attached I'd imagine...

 

[Bbl87]

I do admire how patient you are with the differences in need between you and your wife. I've seen you mention it in other posts too

I honestly don't think I am but I appreciate it. I probably wouldn't be on Lit if I really was patient enough. Lit kind of serves/served to fill the hole that's missing in our marriage. It's definitely a moral grey area, but in reality I'd love if we could find a happy medium and if I didn't feel the need to come to Lit to fill the gap.

 

[Saltfountain]

I honestly don't think I am but I appreciate it. I probably wouldn't be on Lit if I really was patient enough. Lit kind of serves/served to fill the hole that's missing in our marriage. It's definitely a moral grey area, but in reality I'd love if we could find a happy medium and if I didn't feel the need to come to Lit to fill the gap.

You're definitely not the only one in this boat bud

 

[barefootgirl69]

Isn't that what pigtails/braids are for?

Why not both the hair and a collar/leash?

 

[tolyk]

Why not both the hair and a collar/leash?

One is more readily available all the time I'm not opposed to collars at all, have a lovely rainbow one for my wife. Though she's rarely in the right mood to play with that.

 

[Saltfountain]

Why not both the hair and a collar/leash?

Is that your preferred arrangement?

 

[barefootgirl69]

Is that your preferred arrangement?

Of course! Once it's 85° and above, my hair is always in one form or another.

 

[Saltfountain]

Of course! Once it's 85° and above, my hair is always in one form or another.

And you like to be collared and led on a leash?

 

[Bbl87]

Why not both the hair and a collar/leash?

Precisely. Each has its uses.

 

[hopeful_wife]

I'd love a collar because of how symbolic they can be.
I don't have the knees to be crawling around any more

This is why I bought myself a simple choker a couple of months ago. It's not a sign of being owned by anyone-- that isn't a thing I have in my life right now-- but it's my small acknowledgement during my daily life of who I really am.

For awhile (until she lost it somehow) we had a "day collar" bracelet that she wore. It had a lover's knot on it (bondage is her main kink) and looked very innocent if you didn't know what to look for.

Talk about a fuck-it list item. I want to belong to someone this way. I want someone to want me this way.

I do admire how patient you are with the differences in need between you and your wife. I've seen you mention it in other posts too

There are a number of us who have the patience of saints. And (as you see from @Bbl87's response) most of us don't actually believe that about ourselves. We often feel guilty about our activities here, since the low-drive partner is almost always seen as the "moral" one.

You're definitely not the only one in this boat bud

Add me to the group.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I never considered getting a collar for myself. I had been thinking of a tattoo with meaning to mark the journey I've been on over the last few months but that could also work very well.

 

[Bbl87]

I never considered getting a collar for myself. I had been thinking of a tattoo with meaning to mark the journey I've been on over the last few months but that could also work very well.

I think either would be great! I will say, in looking for collars/bracelets/any other related jewelry, Etsy is a great resource. Hell, Etsy is an amazing resource for sex related things period. I'm actually shoping bondage harnesses on their as I type this. And, the last sex toy my wife asked for, was a fantasy dildo we ordered from an Etsy store. Funny turn of events, it shipped from 2 towns over. Small world.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I think either would be great! I will say, in looking for collars/bracelets/any other related jewelry, Etsy is a great resource. Hell, Etsy is an amazing resource for sex related things period. I'm actually shoping bondage harnesses on their as I type this. And, the last sex toy my wife asked for, was a fantasy dildo we ordered from an Etsy store. Funny turn of events, it shipped from 2 towns over. Small world.

Thanks for the recommendation
I will definitely have a look. I don't live anywhere near any specialist shops or anything so buying things to wear has always been on my wish list and not a reality

 

[hopeful_wife]

Hell, Etsy is an amazing resource for sex related things period.

It's where I got the butt plugs I love.

 

[Bbl87]

Thanks for the recommendation
I will definitely have a look. I don't live anywhere near any specialist shops or anything so buying things to wear has always been on my wish list and not a reality

Can't recommend it enough. Most listing are good about having actual measurements for sizing and things like that. Always willing to provide any insight should you ask. Not that I'm an expert, haha, I've just bought my fair share from there.

 

[Bbl87]

It's where I got the butt plugs I love.

I still need to order those for here...

 

[Lindi37]

I really want a collar
They’re so damn cute and symbolic and I’d have no idea where to start

 

[hopeful_wife]

I really want a collar
They’re so damn cute and symbolic and I’d have no idea where to start

Measure. You'll want it tight enough to serve as a constant reminder, but be sure you can move freely. For example, the one I bought myself works well for daytime wear, but I've found I can't wear it all night, because it's a little too constricting to wear safely when I'm unconscious.

 

[MrsPassion]

Collar shopping?! I also vouch for Etsy!!

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Are there any materials that are better/worse than others for them. Not including the jewellery types

 

[Saltfountain]

I really want a collar
They’re so damn cute and symbolic and I’d have no idea where to start

Do you want one you can only wear when alone, or one that you can wear in front of your husband?

 

[Lindi37]

Do you want one you can only wear when alone, or one that you can wear in front of your husband?

Probably more alone or under things but it would be a little thrilling wearing something around him. He’d have no idea what it was and think I’d found some cute necklace.
I’m a 90s kid, chokers have always been cute imo, collars aren’t far removed from that

 

[Saltfountain]

Probably more alone or under things but it would be a little thrilling wearing something around him. He’d have no idea what it was and think I’d found some cute necklace.
I’m a 90s kid, chokers have always been cute imo, collars aren’t far removed from that

A lot of "day collars" are essentially chokers