Fuck It: Refux

[MrsPassion]

so far, a condom slipped inside a paper towel tube with the edge wrapped around the tube and frozen vertically seems the best mold. I did use a silicone popsicle mold as well, but the condom had a larger circumference . I don't have a great handle solution as the ice does get hard on the fingers.

Thank you! That’s genius!! Maybe McGuyver some popsicle sticks like a sword hilt?

 

[AngelicaS1780]

The order was taken out by her new boyfriend, when the judge read out the verdict, he was almost laughing, but H burst into tears, as she left court, she gave me a teary smile and blew me a kiss. She dumped him about a fortnight later. She contacted me after the order finished, via FB to ask how I was. She ended the message with our 'secret code'
The secret code was what we used to end text messages we sent to each before the order. There were lots of texts throughout the whole thing, a lot were threeway text between the girls and me. In one threeway text she said , "I love you" to me, we all knew she really meant it, I was floored!
I use to think about her every single day, I couldn't help it, it's down to a few times a month now (I can't help it she really got to me) The last correspondence I sent to her was a simple hand written note with just our code written on it, no name and sent from a town 200 miles away.
She is married again now and so am I, so nothing happening there now.

The secret code was LUWUNUMU.
Love you want you need you miss you.
I'm now typing this with tears in my eyes cus she really gets to me. But I have moved on , I know I married the wrong woman !

To be blunt, my basic takeaway from all this is that being involved with these best friends has led you to divorce, losing your house and car, less time with your children, and a restraining order. These friends appear to have major issues with appropriate communication and healthy boundaries and seem to thrive on drama. I don't see how being involved with them again would lead to a better outcome. You may have married the wrong women, but I don't see how the remaining woman would be the right one. All I can recommend is to try to live in the present and not dwell on the past and what might have been. Finding a professional therapist to talk with, if you don't have one already, can also be extremely helpful. I hope you can find some clarity, peace, and happiness.

All the kinky things I’ve done are mainly in my head

I'm about half and half myself.

Kinda not sure where to go from there...
So I'll chuck a curveball instead...
What was the last thing people ticked off their fuck it list?

The last thing I checked off was sending a video of a particular activity to a particular someone.

It feels great
I just wish I'd started to figure this stuff out years ago.
Everything I've done so far feels right if that makes sense. Like I'm uncovering the real me

The thing that frustrates me the most is that I was drawn to aspects of kink and polyamory 30 years ago, before the internet, before thrupples and bdsm were discussed on morning talk shows. I never encountered role models for living a polyamorous or kink lifestyle in the context of an "average" adult with a "regular" job. So I chalked it up to being young, adventurous, and lucky enough to find some like minded friends. I told myself that it was fun while it lasted and now I just needed to move on and settle down with one person.

I guess that, for me, finding Lit and a huge community of like minded people feels like rediscovering the real me.

Same same, darling.
The last thing I knocked off my list was probably rough sex. And...I want more.

This definitely makes my FuckIt List. Unfortunately, it's something the husband could never pull off.

What holds you back from doing and experiencing the things on your lists? Is it somebody elses standard? Is it something like a fear or a morale code you were brought up on? Why not just embrace life and dive head first into the things you want and desire?

What holds me back is balancing my wants and needs against those of my husband. He knows that I am on Lit and have friends here who are more than platonic. He accepts that. He would not be so open to me acting on my desires IRL.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Thank you! That’s genius!! Maybe McGuyver some popsicle sticks like a sword hilt?

yeah, I have done that, the challenge is keeping them centered during the freeze time

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Loving the homemade sex toy idea

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Loving the homemade sex toy idea

I've also considered resin items. But what unique thing can be done that hasn't been done alreayd? and do I have the talent to make that mold? we shall see.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I've also considered resin items. But what unique thing can be done that hasn't been done alreayd? and do I have the talent to make that mold? we shall see.

Well feel free to share your discoveries with us
Arts and crafts aren't my strong point at all so I won't be trying this at home.

Have any if you ever tried anything else? Any recommendations or warnings in materials to use?

 

[crazychemgirl]

I saw a post the other day that said all “consensual sex” is just sex and anything non-consensual is just rape … and to stop referring it to non-consensual and just call it what it is.. rape.

I wonder about how those that totter the line of “consensual non-consent” feel…

 

[MrsPassion]

I saw a post the other day that said all “consensual sex” is just sex and anything non-consensual is just rape … and to stop referring it to non-consensual and just call it what it is.. rape.

I wonder about how those that totter the line of “consensual non-consent” feel…

I might be putting too much out there but as someone who has CNC fantasy, the big thing to me is that first “C”. This isn’t something I’d take on with someone I didn’t 100% absolutely trust and honestly I don’t ever know if I will do it in real life. I’ve never tried it. But at the end of the day; knowing a safe word could be used and things would stop immediately changes it from the context of being abused and assaulted to an intricate fantasy played out with a partner between two consenting adults. But also just knowing I’ve never played out CNC gives me pause on what it’s actually like. The risk of still feeling wronged afterwards for me is so high it will probably never be something that comes to fruition or sees the light of day

 

[Lindi37]

Trigger warning

I might be putting too much out there but as someone who has CNC fantasy, the big thing to me is that first “C”. This isn’t something I’d take on with someone I didn’t 100% absolutely trust and honestly I don’t ever know if I will do it in real life. I’ve never tried it. But at the end of the day; knowing a safe word could be used and things would stop immediately changes it from the context of being abused and assaulted to an intricate fantasy played out with a partner between two consenting adults. But also just knowing I’ve never played out CNC gives me pause on what it’s actually like. The risk of still feeling wronged afterwards for me is so high it will probably never be something that comes to fruition or sees the light of day

I have a CNC fantasy AND have been raped. I think the biggest difference is I am in control with the former and had 0 in the latter. With the former comes trust, and I hope aftercare for both parties

It’ll never happen but it does live rent free in my mind.

 

[Lindi37]

There are clone a willy kits to make your own dildo or vibrator in the shape of your fav man, I might add this to my list for a long distance friendship could be tricky getting it through customs

Who in the world would you send that to?
I mean, most people don’t even share their real names let alone their address

 

[Saltfountain]

There are clone a willy kits to make your own dildo or vibrator in the shape of your fav man, I might add this to my list for a long distance friendship could be tricky getting it through customs

Hide it in a matchbox. You'll be fine

 

[Saltfountain]

Trigger warning

I have a CNC fantasy AND have been raped. I think the biggest difference is I am in control with the former and had 0 in the latter. With the former comes trust, and I hope aftercare for both parties

It’ll never happen but it does live rent free in my mind.

This is the thing about fantasies. We don't choose them.
We don't sit there and think, 'I know, I'll be turned on by being spanked'. Life would be so much easier if we did. But also more boring.

I certainly wouldn't choose to be turned on when I've pushed a partner to tears, or made her bleed. But turned on by those things I am.

I wouldn't choose to be turned on when the bus is vibrating kinda nice and my pants are a bit tight. But I am...

In the rational world, you'd never choose to have rape fantasies. But for some it's a turn on. But it's a fantasy. I haven't yet met anyone who actually wants to be raped or attacked.

That's why the 'consensual' in CNC is the important bit.

Just my twopennorth

 

[WriterLust94]

I actually had a discussion with my girlfriend about this earlier, as CNC isn't something I have any interest in but it is something SHE is interested in.

We can both understand where the other is coming from, and we agree that it would require the right circumstances and situation. However it probably won't be something I explore. Which is okay : ]

I know not really the topic being discussed but I thought I would offer my perspective as it were.

 

[SiFi]

I actually had a discussion with my girlfriend about this earlier, as CNC isn't something I have any interest in but it is something SHE is interested in.

We can both understand where the other is coming from, and we agree that it would require the right circumstances and situation. However it probably won't be something I explore. Which is okay : ]

I know not really the topic being discussed but I thought I would offer my perspective as it were.

This ^^^ A discussion and respect for the others views.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Who in the world would you send that to?
I mean, most people don’t even share their real names let alone their address

I love to send and receive gifts from friends! I'm single, so I don't have to explain things to anyone. But, I've known these friends for years.

I actually had a discussion with my girlfriend about this earlier, as CNC isn't something I have any interest in but it is something SHE is interested in.

We can both understand where the other is coming from, and we agree that it would require the right circumstances and situation. However it probably won't be something I explore. Which is okay : ]

I know not really the topic being discussed but I thought I would offer my perspective as it were.

I can't figure out how it would work to "surprise" me. I don't think I could psych myself out enough not to think it's a game or role play. NMK.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

I saw a post the other day that said all “consensual sex” is just sex and anything non-consensual is just rape … and to stop referring it to non-consensual and just call it what it is.. rape.

I wonder about how those that totter the line of “consensual non-consent” feel…

Full disclosure... I, like far too many women, have been raped. Also, while several of my fantasies involve rough sex, resistance, and being physically dominated, I don't have what I would consider to be CNC fantasies.

I do strongly agree with the statement in CCG's post. I've always felt that "non-consensual sex" is merely a euphemism for rape and sexual assault. From my limited research, it appears that "rape play" used to be a common term for what is now usually called CNC.

I want to emphasize that the fantasies themselves are *not* an issue in any way and no one should be judged for having them. It's the semantics that pose difficulties. If I think that "non-consensual sex" is a euphemism for rape and sexual assault, can I justify its use in this specific setting? Or would it be more consistent for me to refer to the category as "consensual rape/sexual assault"? Whatever term a person chooses to use, the most important word is consensual.

For anyone who's interested in how the term non-consensual sex came into popular use, this Al Jazeera America article reports on it...

http://america.aljazeera.com/watch/...4/17/nonconsensual-sexwhenrapeisreworded.html

Trigger warning

I have a CNC fantasy AND have been raped. I think the biggest difference is I am in control with the former and had 0 in the latter. With the former comes trust, and I hope aftercare for both parties

It’ll never happen but it does live rent free in my mind.

I think the aspect of control is why some people who have experienced rape and sexual assault find themselves drawn to CNC. Not that anyone needs a reason to like what they like.

This is the thing about fantasies. We don't choose them.
We don't sit there and think, 'I know, I'll be turned on by being spanked'. Life would be so much easier if we did. But also more boring.

I certainly wouldn't choose to be turned on when I've pushed a partner to tears, or made her bleed. But turned on by those things I am.

I wouldn't choose to be turned on when the bus is vibrating kinda nice and my pants are a bit tight. But I am...

In the rational world, you'd never choose to have rape fantasies. But for some it's a turn on. But it's a fantasy. I haven't yet met anyone who actually wants to be raped or attacked.

That's why the 'consensual' in CNC is the important bit.

Just my twopennorth

Well said.

 

[Saltfountain]

I actually had a discussion with my girlfriend about this earlier, as CNC isn't something I have any interest in but it is something SHE is interested in.

We can both understand where the other is coming from, and we agree that it would require the right circumstances and situation. However it probably won't be something I explore. Which is okay : ]

I know not really the topic being discussed but I thought I would offer my perspective as it were.

I think you're totally on topic. The discussion is around CNC and acceptability

 

[Lindi37]

Full disclosure... I, like far too many women, have been raped. Also, while several of my fantasies involve rough sex, resistance, and being physically dominated, I don't have what I would consider to be CNC fantasies.

I do strongly agree with the statement in CCG's post. I've always felt that "non-consensual sex" is merely a euphemism for rape and sexual assault. From my limited research, it appears that "rape play" used to be a common term for what is now usually called CNC.

I want to emphasize that the fantasies themselves are *not* an issue in any way and no one should be judged for having them. It's the semantics that pose difficulties. If I think that "non-consensual sex" is a euphemism for rape and sexual assault, can I justify its use in this specific setting? Or would it be more consistent for me to refer to the category as "consensual rape/sexual assault"? Whatever term a person chooses to use, the most important word is consensual.

For anyone who's interested in how the term non-consensual sex came into popular use, this Al Jazeera America article reports on it...

http://america.aljazeera.com/watch/...4/17/nonconsensual-sexwhenrapeisreworded.html


I think that aspect of control is why some people who have experienced rape and sexual assault find themselves drawn to CNC. Not that anyone needs a reason to like what they like.


Well said.

As always you are respectful and articulate. Thank you it has taken me a long time to come to terms with, as the sight of my former acquaintance is enough to induce vomiting yet I want a similar (yet totally different) experience with someone else.

 

[Saltfountain]

I think it's one of those kinks that makes people uncomfortable, and therefore can make people who have CNC kinks ashamed.

Yes, CNC is rape play. No, in virtually every case they DON'T want to be raped, but they get a thrill from thinking about it.

I find it a difficult kink because I've also been sexually assaulted (mercifully not raped) but it affected me. However, if a partner is into that I will try to make them happy. I'm not raping them. And they've told me to go there.

As I said before, the key word is Consensual

 

[barefootgirl69]

Let's talk about fantasies a moment, if you don't mind.

I liked what you said in an earlier post, @Saltfountain. "We don't choose them."

There are things in my fantasies I wouldn't do in my everyday life. Things I fantasize about that turn me on, but I don't ever foresee happening.

I'm content that they remain a fantasy, to be honest.

 

[Saltfountain]

Want to share any of them?

 

[barefootgirl69]

Want to share any of them?

I wrote a story about one of them, actually. (Ya little perv!)

 

[Saltfountain]

Details! I want details ya tiny fucker

 

[AngelicaS1780]

I think it's one of those kinks that makes people uncomfortable, and therefore can make people who have CNC kinks ashamed.

Yes, CNC is rape play. No, in virtually every case they DON'T want to be raped, but they get a thrill from thinking about it.

I find it a difficult kink because I've also been sexually assaulted (mercifully not raped) but it affected me. However, if a partner is into that I will try to make them happy. I'm not raping them. And they've told me to go there.

As I said before, the key word is Consensual

Just to clarify, I didn’t bring up the term “rape play” with the intention of shaming anyone or because I think people who have a CNC kink actually want to be raped or assaulted in real life. If anyone interpreted it that way, I apologize. I was considering my own thoughts on the terminology based on CCG’s post.

 

[SiFi]

I wrote a story about one of them, actually. (Ya little perv!)

Title or link , please