It's on my list, too. There are many "in my area" - but everyone of them is 1 - 2 hrs drive.
It would be much better to go with a friend to watch with me and learn the ropes. I'm not sure if people need to be vetted first, like we do in our local community before "education" classes. 
That vetting takes place at Munches.
Good question
So how much pain do you like now? Would you say you crave it?Good question
It was something really simple; hair pulling. During a tryst with a lover from years past she pulled my hair-hard. And at first of course my intial reaction was “ow-wtf?! Am I bald now?” But then she paused and asked how I felt about that and I’ve always been an introspective creature so once I got past the intial surprise I took a body check; the tingling in my scalp was very pronounced and I found it was stimulating and where she had pulled (the space just above the nape of my neck) I felt my muscles and skin feel very hot and I throughly enjoyed that. So I told her I didn’t mind the after feeling that followed the pain-the warmth, tingling, goosebumps and dull throb. She didn’t do it again which I appreciated at the time because I was having a lot of feelings lol but afterwards we talked more and slowly began incorporating more and more S/M into our sexual relationship. I still wasn’t where I am now at the end of that relationship but it definitely was the first time concentrated effort on my part had been put into exploring a “taboo” sensation during sex.
I know for the one I belong too, I had to agree to a thorough background check. They do it for everyone who joins. I’m not sure what criteria would disqualify someone from joining but my guess is violent crimes. I’m lucky mine is about 30 minutes from my house and it’s different than the others in my area because it isn’t Fetish specific necessarily. There are three clubs in one building on different floors and each floor caters to a different crowd or set of kinks. I called and did a tour when it was closed and went to a newbie event before purchasing my membership—that was another difference to the others. It was paid membership only outside of specified events.It's on my list, too. There are many "in my area" - but everyone of them is 1 - 2 hrs drive.
Good question
It was something really simple; hair pulling. During a tryst with a lover from years past she pulled my hair-hard. And at first of course my intial reaction was “ow-wtf?! Am I bald now?” But then she paused and asked how I felt about that and I’ve always been an introspective creature so once I got past the intial surprise I took a body check; the tingling in my scalp was very pronounced and I found it was stimulating and where she had pulled (the space just above the nape of my neck) I felt my muscles and skin feel very hot and I throughly enjoyed that. So I told her I didn’t mind the after feeling that followed the pain-the warmth, tingling, goosebumps and dull throb. She didn’t do it again which I appreciated at the time because I was having a lot of feelings lol but afterwards we talked more and slowly began incorporating more and more S/M into our sexual relationship. I still wasn’t where I am now at the end of that relationship but it definitely was the first time concentrated effort on my part had been put into exploring a “taboo” sensation during sex.
If on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being light smacks on the bottom and 10 being things like being pierced or suspended I’d say I rest comfortably at 7/8 (things like crops, studded paddles on clit/nipples,etc) and will seldom go past that.
Thankfully she knew what she was doing and didn’t actually liberate any hair from my head
), I looked into it and learned alot if what they talk about in there. Alot like with spanking, you definitely have to gauge the "recipient" and what their threshold is.). With that, pain threshold usually doesn't play into it unless I move her a little to roughly.
Thankfully she knew what she was doing and didn’t actually liberate any hair from my head
We're talking about things we've added to our "fuck it" lists, but have gotten caught up in things we've tried that we were surprised about - that, maybe, others have on their list.
lol I’ll admit I kept checking for bald spots afterwards though
A good sadist is often found hard
Well played.
I think it’s not so much a matter of good as it is experience. Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe there can be bad sadist. But it takes a lot of trust and knowledge to pursue high levels of pain and a lot of self restraint and control to inflict said pain. I think sadist get a bad rap often. I think an experienced sadist finds pleasure in providing the right amount of sensation for the masochist. An inexperienced sadist is chasing their own dragon unchecked, if that make sense.
Makes sense, and I think the latter is probably too common. We've never explored s/m at home outside if spanking, and even that has been VERY tame and very low pain levels. But with that I definitely don't see myself being much of a sadist ever, haha.
I get that feeling with a lot of so called doms generally.
Subspace is a tricky thing to navigate. But yes, having a caring Dom is paramount to doing it successfully. Especially for folks like me who are prone to pretty extreme sub drop. Good Doms are tricky to come by though especially because it’s never just about m/s or D/s. You (usually) have to get on well with your partner
Wow, must've posted before I joined, Stunningly Beautiful and truly blessed.
Stuff that surprised me;
S/m is something I want to look into but I’m a little worried about where to start, especially being that any relationship I chose to pursue is online only. I would think the anticipation, the vulnerability, the level of the sensation itself would be layered to create this intense rush of emotion and feeling unlike anything experienced previously. I know I’m not into physically damaging my body (enough damage here lol), so medical play is out but I have always thought that spanking, hair pulling, wax, whips… looked funGood question
It was something really simple; hair pulling. During a tryst with a lover from years past she pulled my hair-hard. And at first of course my intial reaction was “ow-wtf?! Am I bald now?” But then she paused and asked how I felt about that and I’ve always been an introspective creature so once I got past the intial surprise I took a body check; the tingling in my scalp was very pronounced and I found it was stimulating and where she had pulled (the space just above the nape of my neck) I felt my muscles and skin feel very hot and I throughly enjoyed that. So I told her I didn’t mind the after feeling that followed the pain-the warmth, tingling, goosebumps and dull throb. She didn’t do it again which I appreciated at the time because I was having a lot of feelings lol but afterwards we talked more and slowly began incorporating more and more S/M into our sexual relationship. I still wasn’t where I am now at the end of that relationship but it definitely was the first time concentrated effort on my part had been put into exploring a “taboo” sensation during sex.
It can be done online. And it can be rewarding and safe but starting small (buying a smooth paddle or low tension clamps) is a good way to go. Pain also doesn’t inherently mean impact play. It can be temperature play , it can be anything from a pricking sensation to having so many orgasms your clit hurts, and being told “again”. There’s lots of room to explore, but admittedly so much of it when it comes to online is what you are willing to do to yourself. Your safety checks, and how immediately aftercare is available to you and your Dom.
Okay, still learning
I say talk with your Dom. It can be starting with something that takes only a few minutes. Maybe he can record praise for you for after you complete whatever it is they ask? You’ve totally got options thoughOkay, still learning
Timezones and having very little time alone doesn’t help with exploring and aftercare. It’s definitely something I would have in real life if I wasn’t already married.
& no, hubs isn’t dominant. He might be asexual
