Good girls don't...

[ewopper]

K, if that's the case, then wouldn't a guy discover that when they're dating? How can they have sex like bunnies before getting married if they genuinely dislike it, only to reveal it later after the wedding? That's the part I find confusing. If you just don't like sex, then why doesn't that become clear before they get married?

speaking of what I've experienced the sex is fresh and new in the beginning and the woman seems to want to do it just as much as i do of course i'm always telling her how beautiful she is and how much i want her, it seems to start to change, if a woman she knows is flirting with me, or a woman she don't know gives me too much attention, then i foundshe would taper off the sex unntil finally it was non-existent

 

[LadyJeanne]

speaking of what I've experienced the sex is fresh and new in the beginning and the woman seems to want to do it just as much as i do of course i'm always telling her how beautiful she is and how much i want her, it seems to start to change, if a woman she knows is flirting with me, or a woman she don't know gives me too much attention, then i foundshe would taper off the sex unntil finally it was non-existent

Sex as a weapon, huh? I could see it if you were flirting a bit too much or paying attention to someone else - I wouldn't feel particularly amorous or loving if my SO seemed to be into someone else more than me. But if you're not doing the flirting and you aren't ignoring your girl, then her anger and jealousy is misplaced and immature.

 

[Private_Label]

Well, I don't want to sound sexist, but I think a good number of women really don't like sex. They will use it to get the guy they want, but taper off after marriage. I know a lot of people who have experienced this, including me.

I don't want to sound sexist either, but it sounds like a good number of men don't bother bringing their partners to orgasm. If there was something other than disappoint ment to look forward to after the guy gets his rocks off then just roll over and fall asleep, then maybe the women would be more motivated to have sex.

 

[Eilan]

I don't want to sound sexist either, but it sounds like a good number of men don't bother bringing their partners to orgasm. If there was something other than disappoint ment to look forward to after the guy gets his rocks off then just roll over and fall asleep, then maybe the women would be more motivated to have sex.

I'm sure that this is one of those your-mileage-may-vary situations, but this became an issue in my first marriage. When we started first having sex (about a year before we were married) and for about two or three years into the marriage, my ex (who just about always had a tendency to cum quickly) always made sure that I had an orgasm. At some point, though, he just started rolling over and going to sleep. Eventually, even though sex wasn't going to take up much of my time, I just wasn't interested. It was almost a "what's in it for me?" way of thinking.

Sex shouldn't be used as a weapon (for blackmail, punishment, etc.) by either men or women. I've been there and done that, and I got a really ugly t-shirt.

 

[EJFan]

... and I got a really ugly t-shirt.

did SOMEBODY say T-SHIRT?????

 

[Quoll]

Why is there so much of an assumption that women are out to "catch a man" and once she has caught him everything drops off.
If that is the case, then can't the same be said of men, that "they just want someone to look after them."

To my mind if you either enter a relationship, or end up in a relationship that makes you feel like this then (as has been said before) lack of sex is one of the symptoms not the problem.

 

[Eilan]

To my mind if you either enter a relationship, or end up in a relationship that makes you feel like this then (as has been said before) lack of sex is one of the symptoms not the problem.

Yup. I've said this before. Many times. But why say something once when you can say it 50 times and build your post count in the process? Of course, now that I have no more Lit milestones to reach I have less of a need to be a post whore.

Along those lines, I tend to see cheating as a symptom of a problem and not the problem itself. For the most part, anyway.

did SOMEBODY say T-SHIRT?????

Yeah. A really ugly t-shirt.

 

[Quoll]

did SOMEBODY say T-SHIRT?????

uhuh.

 

[EJFan]

uhuh.

YAY!

*bounces & claps*

hercules, hercules, hercules

 

[australwind]

I like that one, Quoll.



(((((hugs)))))) my friend

 

[Quoll]

YAY!

*bounces & claps*

hercules, hercules, hercules

I like that one, Quoll.



(((((hugs)))))) my friend

Ty, Ty, Ty very much *swish*

 

[australwind]

I dont think I know of anyone who can rival you in the "collection of humourous and witty pics" department.......adn usually posted with such panache, skill and an uncanny sense of comic timing....

Take another bow.........

 

[Quoll]

I dont think I know of anyone who can rival you in the "collection of humourous and witty pics" department.......adn usually posted with such panache, skill and an uncanny sense of comic timing....

Take another bow.........

Ty Ty






Bloody google.

 

[australwind]

Ty Ty






Bloody google.

Can't see to type...laughing too much.......

don't you just love the opportunities a homonym opens up!

 

[Quoll]

Can't see to type...laughing too much.......

don't you just love the opportunities a homonym opens up!

Oooh not me, I'm straight.

Gotta run for a bit catch ya later B.

 

[australwind]

Gotta run for a bit catch ya later B.

Bye Hon...

 

[Lynxie]

Hey look! I get to be the one to bring this thread back on topic! Go me! Yay!

Gloating aside, I have to say that every woman and every marriage is different. I'm sure there are women out there who use sex as a means of manipulation, but I highly doubt this is true of the majority of the female population of the world. I dated my husband for nine years prior to getting married last October. We'd been having sex for 8 of those years. Immediately after getting married, we went through a couple months with very little sex - but it's got nothing to do with the fact that we were married. I had to have surgery right after we returned from our honeymoon, and was just physically unable to do much of anything without being in excruciating pain.

Now, our sex life is back to normal. For us, the most important part of staying satisfied with each other sexually is having good communication. We're both well aware of each other's needs (both in and out of the bedroom). I really believe that many couples' sex lives go downhill because they forget how important it is to talk to each other and really pay attention to what's going on in their lives.

Lack of sex can also be attributed to unhappiness in other areas of the relationship. Financial troubles, inbalanced responsibilities, hectic schedules, and toher factors can decrease a person's (not just a woman's) desire to have sex. Again, communication is crucial to working through rough times and keeping your lives and happiness on track.

Another issue can be the length of a relationship prior to marriage. Too many people rush into marriage before they truly get to know each other and develop the communication skills necessary to keep their relationship alive. I have a friend who dated a guy for a year and then got married. They didn't live together until they'd exchanged vows. They struggled through two years of unhappiness together because their lifestyles were so different. He was a party animal and liked to go out drinking with the guys. She liked to have fun, but was more serious about her career and didn't want to party during the week. He refused to change his lifestyle, and was rarely ever home when she was. Eventually she learned that he was hooking up with random women at bars, and they divorced. Was it because she didn't like sex? Not at all. In fact, she's one of the most sexual women I know. It was their lack of communication and their incompatability as a couple that destroyed their sex life. My friend's been seeing another man for about a year now, and plans to move in with him this fall. She's told me that she loves him, but plans to wait at least another year (after moving in with him) before making any decisions about marital commitments. It's too bad that so many people end up in situations like this, where they learn the hard way that they're not compatible with their spouse. For this reason, I'm a huge fan of living together prior to marriage. It's best to get to know your partner's habits and lifestyle before you rush into major commitment decisions.

 

[SweetErika]

Hey look! I get to be the one to bring this thread back on topic! Go me! Yay!

Gloating aside, I have to say that every woman and every marriage is different. I'm sure there are women out there who use sex as a means of manipulation, but I highly doubt this is true of the majority of the female population of the world. I dated my husband for nine years prior to getting married last October. We'd been having sex for 8 of those years. Immediately after getting married, we went through a couple months with very little sex - but it's got nothing to do with the fact that we were married. I had to have surgery right after we returned from our honeymoon, and was just physically unable to do much of anything without being in excruciating pain.

Now, our sex life is back to normal. For us, the most important part of staying satisfied with each other sexually is having good communication. We're both well aware of each other's needs (both in and out of the bedroom). I really believe that many couples' sex lives go downhill because they forget how important it is to talk to each other and really pay attention to what's going on in their lives.

Lack of sex can also be attributed to unhappiness in other areas of the relationship. Financial troubles, inbalanced responsibilities, hectic schedules, and toher factors can decrease a person's (not just a woman's) desire to have sex. Again, communication is crucial to working through rough times and keeping your lives and happiness on track.

Another issue can be the length of a relationship prior to marriage. Too many people rush into marriage before they truly get to know each other and develop the communication skills necessary to keep their relationship alive. I have a friend who dated a guy for a year and then got married. They didn't live together until they'd exchanged vows. They struggled through two years of unhappiness together because their lifestyles were so different. He was a party animal and liked to go out drinking with the guys. She liked to have fun, but was more serious about her career and didn't want to party during the week. He refused to change his lifestyle, and was rarely ever home when she was. Eventually she learned that he was hooking up with random women at bars, and they divorced. Was it because she didn't like sex? Not at all. In fact, she's one of the most sexual women I know. It was their lack of communication and their incompatability as a couple that destroyed their sex life. My friend's been seeing another man for about a year now, and plans to move in with him this fall. She's told me that she loves him, but plans to wait at least another year (after moving in with him) before making any decisions about marital commitments. It's too bad that so many people end up in situations like this, where they learn the hard way that they're not compatible with their spouse. For this reason, I'm a huge fan of living together prior to marriage. It's best to get to know your partner's habits and lifestyle before you rush into major commitment decisions.

Fantastic points, all worth repeating.