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hot tub and dirty jokes......

omahaman2 said:
ok ok TRIXIE now i know who stole my chasity belt. ive seen your new av
Click to expand...

LOL...sorry Oman....you want it back??? *G
And Mav...you mean you weren't really really experienced before?? LOL
 
LOL your new hubby probably prefers you keep itIm not saying that he cant trust you, jist that he is a lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky man to have you.and you probably have many desiring you.
 
omahaman2 said:
LOL your new hubby probably prefers you keep itIm not saying that he cant trust you, jist that he is a lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky man to have you.and you probably have many desiring you.
Click to expand...

Awwww Oman...*blushes*......you wanna look after my key?? LOL
 
getting childish ,,, just to keep up with you lot ,...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Hello.

Hello who?

Hello (how low) can you go
~~~~~~~~~~~~



Knock knock.

Who's there?

Toodle.

Toodle who?

Toodle-oo to you, too
############

Knock knock.

Who's there?

You.

You who?

Yoo-hoo, I'm over here!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Yak.

Yak who?

Yakity yak yak!
 
omahaman2 said:
ok ok TRIXIE now i know who stole my chasity belt. ive seen your new av
Click to expand...

I don't recall any chasity belt last February! ;)

Hi tubbers! Hope everyone enjoys a wonderful weekend!:rose:
 
Mav Unlimited said:


Helloooo Jenny, Ma'am! :D
Click to expand...

HI Mav:rose:

BTW, thanks for the earlier compliment you made on one of my AVs! I like changing them around, so it might come up again one day!;)
 
JennyOmanHill said:


HI Mav:rose:

BTW, thanks for the earlier compliment you made on one of my AVs! I like changing them around, so it might come up again one day!;)
Click to expand...

Oh oh, change it fast...please...i'm waiting! :) :kiss: :rose:
 
Subject: Calling in Sick...........

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one
occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was
too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury
and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was
no problem, but one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast,
when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Ed! The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the
shower(pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" she pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a
statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without
consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to
find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances.
Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal
teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects
she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner
and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the
second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly
offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all
rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, while rising
upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten
hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent;
the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the
paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife,
the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while
suppressing hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of
me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. "What's
the matter, cat got your tongue?" If they had only known
 
Re: Subject: Calling in Sick...........

tnguy04 said:
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how
legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one
occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was
too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury
and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was
no problem, but one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast,
when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Ed! The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the
shower(pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" she pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a
statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without
consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to
find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances.
Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal
teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects
she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the corner
and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the
second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly
offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all
rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, while rising
upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten
hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent;
the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the
paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife,
the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while
suppressing hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of
me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. "What's
the matter, cat got your tongue?" If they had only known
Click to expand...


Damn there goes this Kitty's plan.............

oh tn............my disposal isn't working...............(truly it isn't) lol
 
Re: Re: Subject: Calling in Sick...........

Kat-44 said:



Damn there goes this Kitty's plan.............

oh tn............my disposal isn't working...............(truly it isn't) lol
Click to expand...

this is not some lame attempt to get your claws on my balls is it? lol

huggssssssss
 
A student comes to a young professor's office after hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do... **anything**!!!"

He returns her gaze. "Anything???"

"Yes,... Anything!!!"

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study???"

:rose:
 
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