How do you like/Hate to be approached here at Lit?

[babydoll2u]

ugh just yesterday I received a pm from a man here who said something that he meant as a compliment (so he said). I wrote him back and told him that his pm was both crude and rude and to please not pm me again.
He said I guess you don't like compliments. I wrote again that I did not take what he said as a compliment, but rather as an insult and was putting him on ignore to keep from going back and forth with him.

I just HATE it that simply because you're on an adult site, people assume you don't mind receiving sexually explicit pm's or seeing explicit posts on the boards. Like you, I come here to meet people, make friends, grow those friendships, etc.
I was told, "Well since this IS a porn site, you should expect to see explicit language, graphic sexuality, etc." Of course I do, on the threads started for that purpose. But some are not started for that purpose and those are the ones I frequent. I was told, "since you are posting on a PORN site, you should expect to be messaged and approached with sexually explicit language, innuendos, etc." NO I don't expect that. What I expect is to be treated just as you would treat me OFFline....with courtesy and respect. If you can't find it within yourself to do that... then simply don't contact me. It's just not that hard.

Whew... thanks Tonie for letting me vent, lol

 

[yourdestonie]

ugh just yesterday I received a pm from a man here who said something that he meant as a compliment (so he said). I wrote him back and told him that his pm was both crude and rude and to please not pm me again.
He said I guess you don't like compliments. I wrote again that I did not take what he said as a compliment, but rather as an insult and was putting him on ignore to keep from going back and forth with him.

I just HATE it that simply because you're on an adult site, people assume you don't mind receiving sexually explicit pm's or seeing explicit posts on the boards. Like you, I come here to meet people, make friends, grow those friendships, etc.
I was told, "Well since this IS a porn site, you should expect to see explicit language, graphic sexuality, etc." Of course I do, on the threads started for that purpose. But some are not started for that purpose and those are the ones I frequent. I was told, "since you are posting on a PORN site, you should expect to be messaged and approached with sexually explicit language, innuendos, etc." NO I don't expect that. What I expect is to be treated just as you would treat me OFFline....with respect. If you can't find it within yourself to do that... then simply don't contact me. It's just not that hard.

Whew... thanks Tonie for letting me vent, lol

Vent all you want sweetie I feel the same way. *hugs*

 

[Bluesboy2]

thanks for the in put but I was really hoping this thread would be treated as a subject not a joke.

Thats another thing thats anoying around here people always try to make fun of things that actually are not ment to be made fun of.

And just for your info the day I have to pay for it is the day I quit.

Since I am basically a clown I will refrain from posting in your threads in the future. Sorry about that.

 

[yourdestonie]

Since I am basically a clown I will refrain from posting in your threads in the future. Sorry about that.

thats not what I ment just treat the threads as they were ment, if it applies to be funny then by all means be funny. I love a man who can make me laught at the right time *grins*

 

[JustFlow]

Now see what you started with you damn thread?! tsk tsk tsk... offending the pervs now!!! No wait... I'm not offended

 

[yourdestonie]

Now see what you started with you damn thread?! tsk tsk tsk... offending the pervs now!!! No wait... I'm not offended

LOL I think most of us would be considered pervs in one way or another.

 

[JustFlow]

So I can stop seeing my therapist now?

 

[Bluesboy2]

In all seriousness I don't think I have ever PM'd a woman I didn't know to make advances. However, most of the women here I have talked to love to flirt if tey are treated like a person and not a hole.

 

[ElusivButterfly]

Great thread Tonie!

I always get the same requests...younger guys wanting an older woman to "teach" them...then proceed to tell me how mature they are for their age when I say thanks but no thanks. I tell them I don't date anyone younger than my kids and they still try to convince me how mature they are. When I decline, some of them show their maturity by giving me an attitude. I say they need to let their mother's finish raising them and TEACH them how to be a gentleman before they attempt to contact other women.

Other requests I get as a introduction is..."wanna do phone?", I either ignore or reply to say I do not have a phone fetish. And of course the all the other "basics": What are you wearing right now, wanna cyber, etc. OR they just proceed to tell me all those "wonderful" things they want to do to me.

I say if a guy cannot be a gentleman right off, I really don't want to talk with them or try to get to know them.

 

[Guest]

I just hope those who do this are reading and taking notes

It's not just the men who do this.

theres alot of women out there who think that just because a man is here he'll want to "fuck" anything with a slit.

thats not so either.

I'd like to see more people filling out their profiles too I usually don't even give those who have nothing there the time of day let alone tfying to get to know them.

Love the thread yourdestonie!!!

Since I came on Lit I have had all sorts of approaches.

A couple pm'd me and asked if I was interested in playing in r/l. I replied nicely that I wasn't and we exchanged a few pm's as I suggested AFF and they did not know what it was. As far as I know there were no hard feelings on either side.

Other pm's have come from men and I have to say my first rule of thumb is have they been frank on their profile? Those with blank ones get ignored. My profile is full and truthful so why can't others do the same. At the end of the day you could be next door neighbours and both be honest in your profiles but still not realise who each other is. It is a bloody big world out there!!!

I enjoy cybering, both by IM and in some of the appropriate threads but it has always been done with someone I have chatted to and have got to know before hand. I have been lucky enough to meet one fellow Lit and we have become very good friends (in the true sense of the word). I am also hoping to meet another in the summer to share our love of a certain summer team sport that my r/l partner hates. He does not mind as long as he knows I am going to be safe.

I love Lit and most of the people on it are great. So far I have only had to put an "ignore" on one person but I will not hesitate to do it again!!!

 

[yourdestonie]

So I can stop seeing my therapist now?

LOL I guess so

 

[yourdestonie]

In all seriousness I don't think I have ever PM'd a woman I didn't know to make advances. However, most of the women here I have talked to love to flirt if tey are treated like a person and not a hole.

And that can go both ways theres alot of women here that think the men all want them just because their women.

 

[yourdestonie]

Great thread Tonie!

I always get the same requests...younger guys wanting an older woman to "teach" them...then proceed to tell me how mature they are for their age when I say thanks but no thanks. I tell them I don't date anyone younger than my kids and they still try to convince me how mature they are. When I decline, some of them show their maturity by giving me an attitude. I say they need to let their mother's finish raising them and TEACH them how to be a gentleman before they attempt to contact other women.

Other requests I get as a introduction is..."wanna do phone?", I either ignore or reply to say I do not have a phone fetish. And of course the all the other "basics": What are you wearing right now, wanna cyber, etc. OR they just proceed to tell me all those "wonderful" things they want to do to me.

I say if a guy cannot be a gentleman right off, I really don't want to talk with them or try to get to know them.

thats exactly why I started this thread. I get at least one of those every day.

I hope that all the ladies around here will take the time to post their feelings as well. Hopefully those who do this will get the point if its said and re said enough times.

 

[yourdestonie]

Love the thread yourdestonie!!!

Since I came on Lit I have had all sorts of approaches.

A couple pm'd me and asked if I was interested in playing in r/l. I replied nicely that I wasn't and we exchanged a few pm's as I suggested AFF and they did not know what it was. As far as I know there were no hard feelings on either side.

Other pm's have come from men and I have to say my fisrt rule of thumb is have they been frank on their profile? Those with blank ones get ignored. My profile is full and truthful so why can't others do the same. At the end of the day you could be next door neighbours and both be honest in your profiles but still not realise who each other is. It is a bloody big world out there!!!

I enjoy cybering, both by IM and in some of the appropriate threads but it has always been dne with someone I have chatted to and have got to know before hand. I have been lucky enough to meet one fellow Lit and we have become very good friends (in the true sense of the word). I am also hoping to meet another in the summer to share our love of a certain summer team sport that my r/l partner hates. He does not mind as long as he knows I am going to be safe.

I love Lit and most of the people on it are great. So far I have only had to put an "ignore" on one person but I will not hesitate to do it again!!!

Sometimes being polite and understanding from both sides works sometimes it don't. I always try and be polite the first time and sometimes even the secound but after that I can get down right mean if necessary.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Sometimes being polite and understanding from both sides works sometimes it don't. I always try and be polite the first time and sometimes even the secound but after that I can get down right mean if necessary.

I've never been able to understand how some guys think that using the line "Hi, I have a 10 inch cock, wanna fuck?" is going to get them anything but laughter...or worse....
Hell, some of them are so stupid, I've got the the PM's!!!
Ya'd think being called daddy might give em a hint!!!

I talk to people here just like I would anywhere else....
Yeah, I flirt, and I joke, but people know I'm joking...
Some people think there aren't real people on the other side of the computer..
There are, real people, real lives.... this is just a way to communicate!
Use it....
Talk!!!!
Make friends!!
And from there, you never know what can happen.......

 

[babydoll2u]

In all seriousness I don't think I have ever PM'd a woman I didn't know to make advances. However, most of the women here I have talked to love to flirt if tey are treated like a person and not a hole.

Exactly!!

 

[yesYesYEsYES]

Annoying things in a PM...especially the first one...I'm sure most of these have already been said...but they are worth repeating

1. Don't ask my bra size

2. Don't tell me how well endowed you are

3. No..I don't want to teach you anything

4. I really really don't want to know how you pleasure a woman

5. No...I don't want to tell you my wildest sexual fantasy nor do I want to hear yours

6. No...I don't want to tell you the wildest sexual thing I have ever done

7. If I want to give you my Yahoo name I will

I'll probably think of a ton more...but that's a start.

And I totally agree with everyone here...I understand that this is a "porn" site but if you take the time to read some of the posts you will come to understand that we are "real people"...not just here for sexual reasons. So if you are a "newbie" and you want to PM someone take the time to get to know the person.

 

[yourdestonie]

I've never been able to understand how some guys think that using the line "Hi, I have a 10 inch cock, wanna fuck?" is going to get them anything but laughter...or worse....
Hell, some of them are so stupid, I've got the the PM's!!!
Ya'd think being called daddy might give em a hint!!!

I talk to people here just like I would anywhere else....
Yeah, I flirt, and I joke, but people know I'm joking...
Some people think there aren't real people on the other side of the computer..
There are, real people, real lives.... this is just a way to communicate!
Use it....
Talk!!!!
Make friends!!
And from there, you never know what can happen.......

I think that some actually don't realize there's a real human being behind the milions of other computers out there. Were all just words to them. Here they can be the nasty A hole they'd be in person if they had the balls to take the punishment. They can't because in person they'd get the Crap beat out of em.

 

[yourdestonie]

Annoying things in a PM...especially the first one...I'm sure most of these have already been said...but they are worth repeating

1. Don't ask my bra size

2. Don't tell me how well endowed you are

3. No..I don't want to teach you anything

4. I really really don't want to know how you pleasure a woman

5. No...I don't want to tell you my wildest sexual fantasy nor do I want to hear yours

6. No...I don't want to tell you the wildest sexual thing I have ever done

7. If I want to give you my Yahoo name I will

I'll probably think of a ton more...but that's a start.

And I totally agree with everyone here...I understand that this is a "porn" site but if you take the time to read some of the posts you will come to understand that we are "real people"...not just here for sexual reasons. So if you are a "newbie" and you want to PM someone take the time to get to know the person.

I wonder if the "powers that be" here could make this a sticky thread LOL

all great points its always amazing to me how they think its being sexy to ask that sort of stuff.

I've actually had men get mad because I wouldn't give em my phone number after a couple nights of posting together.

 

[pleasteasme]

Annoying things in a PM...especially the first one...I'm sure most of these have already been said...but they are worth repeating

1. Don't ask my bra size

2. Don't tell me how well endowed you are

3. No..I don't want to teach you anything

4. I really really don't want to know how you pleasure a woman

5. No...I don't want to tell you my wildest sexual fantasy nor do I want to hear yours

6. No...I don't want to tell you the wildest sexual thing I have ever done

7. If I want to give you my Yahoo name I will

I'll probably think of a ton more...but that's a start.

And I totally agree with everyone here...I understand that this is a "porn" site but if you take the time to read some of the posts you will come to understand that we are "real people"...not just here for sexual reasons. So if you are a "newbie" and you want to PM someone take the time to get to know the person.

Have we been pm'ed by the same people *I am sure of it!* All I can say, is "Ditto" Yes, YEs, YES

 

[Ryniver]

Count me in as another one who has been PM'd by people who's "netettiqute" could use some serious brushing up. The one "don't" method that I have been on the recieving end of a lot lately is where both men and women will send a mesage INSISTING I should check out their photo thread (like it probably doesn't have enough attention already). Another way would be that they assume that since I live in their general area, I would love to just swing by and have a shag or two. Irreguardless of age, as if they think just having a penis qualifies them as people I'd be attracted to.

 

[charmed1]

Annoying things in a PM...especially the first one...I'm sure most of these have already been said...but they are worth repeating

1. Don't ask my bra size

2. Don't tell me how well endowed you are

3. No..I don't want to teach you anything

4. I really really don't want to know how you pleasure a woman

5. No...I don't want to tell you my wildest sexual fantasy nor do I want to hear yours

6. No...I don't want to tell you the wildest sexual thing I have ever done

7. If I want to give you my Yahoo name I will

I'll probably think of a ton more...but that's a start.

And I totally agree with everyone here...I understand that this is a "porn" site but if you take the time to read some of the posts you will come to understand that we are "real people"...not just here for sexual reasons. So if you are a "newbie" and you want to PM someone take the time to get to know the person.

Ditto to everything you said.

Can I add just one more to your list?

I get this one often and it drives me crazy...."Is that you in your AV? If so, you are SOOO hot!!"

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Ditto to everything you said.

Can I add just one more to your list?

I get this one often and it drives me crazy...."Is that you in your AV? If so, you are SOOO hot!!"

I'm lucky... I say it is!!!

While the guys are MUCH MUCH worse than the girls, I've had a couple that got upset when I wouldn't cyber them........

 

[charmed1]

I'm lucky... I say it is!!!

While the guys are MUCH MUCH worse than the girls, I've had a couple that got upset when I wouldn't cyber them........

It's not the question that bothers me really.....It's the "wanna cyber?" that usually follows it....

 

[fun1269u]

What DO you like?

Ladies,
I haven't been unfortunate enough to be PM'ed with any "Wanna fuck?" messages, but I'm still hoping......

Seriously, no excuses for rudeness. People should be a little more sensitive, I agree. Men are wired a little differently than women and we don't always "get it". So I appreciate the discussion.

I've heard a lot of discussions about what you don't like....Maybe you can discuss what you do like or how we CAN approach you if we feel we would like to get to know you better. I've always felt open forums are a good way to start a discussion with someone, but how should we approch the next step.

Thanks for the discussion!