HOW TO TELL...if you're a bi-curious man!

[SomecallmeTim]

thanks lustatopia, you put it very well.

 

[bi golly]

The things I fantasized about while masturbating turned to men very early, like within a year of learning to jerk off. I didn't like to admit the fact that I was turned on my male-male sex.

While I had not had sex with a man, I admitted it to her. The thing was a picture on the cover of a magazine. A man was sailboarding and wearing a crocheted string bikini. Taut muscles and a string bikini. I told her that I got turned on by the picture. That marriage lasted a year. She cheated and brought home an STD.

I was single for a long time and was afraid to admit to anyone what I really felt. Afraid because I wanted a family and I was afraid that if I told a prospective mate that I was attracted to men that she would dump me. As it was, finding a woman to have kids with was hard enough, I didn't want to blow it by coming completely out of the closet.

So I met a woman and we clicked and after a while, I felt I had to be honest with her and told her. That was a turn for a little while, then she shut it down. Didn't want to hear anything about sex outside of heteronormative sex. We married and had two kids. Beautiful children. And she cheated and brought home an STD (is there a pattern here?)

For the women I meet these days, I don't perceive in them any wiggle room for me to experience male sex. I would like to be in a relationship with a woman who is like me: I am emotionally drawn to women (when I am out of the house, I will look at 99 women before I will look at a man). I like the 'otherness' of women; women see things differently and I like that. But I would like to be with a man sometimes, to feel his body, to feel pleasure with him that I can't feel with a woman.

It is hard to put a strong relationship together, and layering bisexuality on top of it makes it harder.

 

[TamLin83]

OP=Funniest thing I've seen in years.

SO glad I didn't go through that "confused" phase (no offense to those who did/are). Seems like bi men really are kind of the invisible orientation in society. Being straight is the "norm" and being gay is all about making yourself visible, and being a bi woman is downright trendy (whether you are in fact bi or not), but a bi man is society's dirty little secret. No one likes to talk about it, and when it does come up the reaction is often a thinly veiled (or not at all veiled) "Yuck!"

 

[okapirox]

For the women I meet these days, I don't perceive in them any wiggle room for me to experience male sex. I would like to be in a relationship with a woman who is like me: I am emotionally drawn to women (when I am out of the house, I will look at 99 women before I will look at a man).

You sound a lot like me (or vice-versa)

to feel pleasure with him that I can't feel with a woman.

Yup. The idea of my GF with a strap-on (how some bi guys get it on with their GFs) is just laughable to me. Really can't see the point. The only reason for me sucking/fucking a guy is to be connected to another cock, and causing the sorts of feelings that I usually love to feel for myself.

 

[Chrissi]

How to tell if your a bi-curious man? If you're a straight guy reading this thread, then by definition you're bi-curious.

Thinking about this thread again reminds me that I always knew that I was bisexual even before I was aware of the concept of bisexuality as such. I simply knew that I was sexually aroused by beautiful human forms, the curve of buttocks or the tightness of a gorgeous thigh. Gender was a secondary consideration for me, largely proscribed by peer pressure and shame. The idea of getting naked and touching a guy sexually I found secretly arousing, perhaps all the more so since it was utterly forbidden to enter conscious awareness outside of dreamy masturbating in bed late at night.

I suspect that many, many more guys have homosexual fantasies, at least at some point in their lives, than we will ever know, which, of course, makes the true number of bi-curious guys much larger than is reported. The real question for any guy who has ever masturbated imagining some variety of homosexuality is whether the sexual desire is so great that it cannot be satiated and contained within personal masturbatory fantasy alone. Or, posed as a question of self-actualization - why should bisexual desires be suppressed at all in our modern, liberated world?

I understand that for many guys the option of coming out with your bisexual desires seems an insurmountably difficult task, especially given that your life, your friends and family are based upon the assumption of straightness and social conformity. Looking back, I realize that the most shocking thing about my own coming out as a bisexual male, back in my college days, was twofold. First, everyone simply accepted it.

Secondly, it opened up all sorts of sexual relationships with both guys and girls who shared my sense of sexual nonconformity and adventure, but wouldn't have noticed me as a straight guy... Girlfriends that I had imagined were too "nice" were suddenly interested in steamy MMF threeways, something they were too shy to bring up to their conventional straight boyfriends, but they felt comfortable discussing with a bi male... A few straight friends admitted their own bi-curious desires and timidly, at first, wanted to experiment. A whole world of sexual variety exists just under the radar, but you can't really be part of it until you open up.

The only people who ever gave me shit were the openly gay militant types who view bisexuality as a transitional state to total queerdom, which it is definitely not.

Ultimately, you're the only one who can choose your sexuality.

Nicely said.

And funny how I agree with the emboldened part. Although from my perspective, I know several men who indicate they are "bisexual," but I feel strongly that they are just not ready to drop that last vestige of "normalcy." Please note that I put those words in quotes, not to indicate the that they are true, but to emphasize the label aspect of them. I would never give anyone a difficult time regarding their personal feelings about sexuality and orientation. It can be at times so confusing and difficult. Sadly, in this day and age, it shouldn't be.

To me it doesn't matter what you are or what you call yourself. But I do understand that labels can be very important for some people, especially those searching to "fit in" and find acceptance. To find others who are like themselves. So in that respect, the label of gay or bi can be very important.


Topher

 

[LeatherChaps]

Nicely said.

And funny how I agree with the emboldened part. Although from my perspective, I know several men who indicate they are "bisexual," but I feel strongly that they are just not ready to drop that last vestige of "normalcy." Please note that I put those words in quotes, not to indicate the that they are true, but to emphasize the label aspect of them. I would never give anyone a difficult time regarding their personal feelings about sexuality and orientation. It can be at times so confusing and difficult. Sadly, in this day and age, it shouldn't be.

To me it doesn't matter what you are or what you call yourself. But I do understand that labels can be very important for some people, especially those searching to "fit in" and find acceptance. To find others who are like themselves. So in that respect, the label of gay or bi can be very important.


Topher

Also well said!

 

[ackjae0]

True test

Would seem to me that overwhelming urge to suck dick might be the tip![/QUOTE

Trying to break this down .... also bi curious have different degrees of bi-ness(for lack of a better term) with preferences for genital play only or other additions to the bi spectrum ...there is a distinct dividing line ...lets just have fun ...

 

[uboat1]

Most of my life I felt that I was just your normal straight guy. Then in my 30's I start to wonder about MM sex and attraction. Since then I have had 1 MM sex hook up (cum and go). I am not sure if I am Bi or Hedonistic or just greedy (getting off where I can). I like the idea of getting a guy off with my hands and maybe my mouth. I have never saw a guy on the street and went "OH WOW", he's hot. I would like to .... with him. I dont "think" that I would want to hug or kiss a guy. My fascination is with the cock. Getting it hard and slowly getting him off.

I am Curious for sure! I want to test the waters!

 

[bblobby]

hi bi

bi male 55 , had a sex mate for a number of years lovely big cock i used to wank him off all the time

 

[blueblaze8503]

My problem is I don't know what category I fall into.. As far as bi or just bi curious. I've made out with a guy before and have been having a lot of fantasies about oral and anal with a guy but have yet to do either. I've been with women and have even been engaged twice but the more I try to push the thoughts of being with a man out of my head the more I'm wanting to do it. I live in a small town in oklahoma and haven't had the opportunity to do anything with a guy yet. I came here looking for advice and hopefully to make a few friends who can help me out with this new world of m/m relationships and sex.. Any advice???

 

[Chrissi]

My problem is I don't know what category I fall into.. As far as bi or just bi curious. I've made out with a guy before and have been having a lot of fantasies about oral and anal with a guy but have yet to do either. I've been with women and have even been engaged twice but the more I try to push the thoughts of being with a man out of my head the more I'm wanting to do it. I live in a small town in oklahoma and haven't had the opportunity to do anything with a guy yet. I came here looking for advice and hopefully to make a few friends who can help me out with this new world of m/m relationships and sex.. Any advice???

blueblaze, I PM'ed you about your post in the other thread about first time oral/anal, then I read this post.

Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings and the way you are feeling? It sounds like you are seriously questioning, and you are feeling very alone and isolated. I would suggest talking to a psychologist who specializes sexuality and questioning men. You are not alone, and what you are going through is very difficult to reconcile with how you have been raised, and often continue to live in the community.

Open up to a sympathetic ear, you need one.

Good luck

Topher

PS, I am not at my regular computer, but I have some links that may be of help, I will PM them to you later.

 

[bi2rivers]

Proud to be Bi.

Being with the right man, someone you can build a trusting friendship with who knows the meaning of discretion can be very satisfying on different levels. Not just the sex but being able to discuss things that affect us in everyday life, as well as having someone close who cares. I have a couple special married friends who I've been together with over the years though sadly not as much as we'd like but the times were and are still very important. Be careful when looking for contacts. Build a rapport and build trust and not rush out the door in anticipation of having sex. Too many people out there are not what they profess to be.

 

[klippert]

how bout this

If you see another guy in the shower and your sneaking peeks at his body.... and you think about him when your home or when your GF, wife is sucking your cock you wish or wonder if he could do it better, or you were sucking his cock while she is sucking yours....... you might be a Bi-curious man....

 

[bi golly]

If you got this dildo and you find that the head of the dildo sliding across your prostate makes you want to spread your legs and take a man, any man, you might be bi-curious.

http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/mistress

 

[bitallguy]

If you think of guys 7 out of 10 times when jacking off, close your eyes and think of fucking another guy when you are fucking your wife and you cum harder than you have for years when chatting dirty with other guys online, then yes you may be bi-curious.

 

[jshawk52]

If the good looking young guy with the killer bod who waited on you at the clothes store caused an erection, then you're probably bisexual. (This happened to me not long ago!)

 

[SilkyDave]

If you got this dildo and you find that the head of the dildo sliding across your prostate makes you want to spread your legs and take a man, any man, you might be bi-curious.

http://store.babeland.com/dildos-silicone/mistress

the vibrating version could be even better.....oh I guess that makes me just a bit bi-curious doesn't it !?

 

[blueblaze8503]

I sucked my first cock last night.. So I think I'm passed the "curious" part.. As soon as I was done the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted a guy to fuck my ass and take my anal cherry.. I spent the rest of the night jerking off and fingering myself! INTENSE!

 

[misterb64]

I sucked my first cock last night.. So I think I'm passed the "curious" part.. As soon as I was done the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted a guy to fuck my ass and take my anal cherry.. I spent the rest of the night jerking off and fingering myself! INTENSE!

Congratulations! Feel free to share the details!

 

[uboat1]

I sucked my first cock last night.. So I think I'm passed the "curious" part.. As soon as I was done the only thing I could think about was how much I wanted a guy to fuck my ass and take my anal cherry.. I spent the rest of the night jerking off and fingering myself! INTENSE!

I am so jealous!! I have not had the chance to do that yet. I hope to before I get too old! How did you meet the guy and what were you feeling and ...etc.....

 

[SomecallmeTim]

Silky Dave, having used a vibrating dildo I must say that it is one of life's true pleasures.

 

[SilkyDave]

and which one would you recommend? i want a mind blowing, leg shaking, body quivering orgasm......i am not too demanding am i ? i want my entire body to shake and plan on doing whatever it takes to achieve it.....PM me a response

 

[SomecallmeTim]

All done Dave. Best of luck

 

[Evolove]

I'm definitely pancurious. I prefer pan over bi because gender identity isn't very important to me. Most of what I find attractive isn't exclusive to either sex, so to be honest I'd be willing to experiment with just about anyone attractive to me.

I have little interest in being on either the receiving or giving end of anal sex, though. Not putting down anyone who's into that, of course. It's just that out of all the times I've fantasized about being with a guy, anal never even crossed my mind.

 

[willbethere]

As for me I have no doubt about my being curious - The problem is how to tell if someone else is curious and then finding out just how far and where the the curiosity will take us.