I Almost Died Today

[ll74]

As a public service, I thought it worthwhile to share our near death experiences with our fellow forum members, so they can properly prepare for what the day may look like outside of each of your bunkers.

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To start off, IADT (I almost died today) because Tim Walz was using Somalis to steal my gun safe.

Thankfully, I have my alarm system was set to go off for any color different from white and I was able to deport them successfully.

Please consider making these changes to your alarm system, so that it can also save your life/guns

 

[RoryN]

Thank you for this public service.

Now that I have a safe space to do so, I will share as well: I almost died today because Jimmy Kimmel used legitimate humor in a way that did not match my personal political convictions.

The paramedics needed to use the paddles on me, but I will recover.

 

[SebastianHolt]

As a public service, I thought it worthwhile to share our near death experiences with our fellow forum members, so they can properly prepare for what the day may look like outside of each of your bunkers.

----

To start off, IADT (I almost died today) because Tim Walz was using Somalis to steal my gun safe.

Thankfully, I have my alarm system was set to go off for any color different from white and I was able to deport them successfully.

Please consider making these changes to your alarm system, so that it can also save your life/guns

you are a dildo

 

[Rightguide]

As a public service, I thought it worthwhile to share our near death experiences with our fellow forum members, so they can properly prepare for what the day may look like outside of each of your bunkers.

----

To start off, IADT (I almost died today) because Tim Walz was using Somalis to steal my gun safe.

Thankfully, I have my alarm system was set to go off for any color different from white and I was able to deport them successfully.

Please consider making these changes to your alarm system, so that it can also save your life/guns

What a magnificent slab of upholstered idiocy the above is, the sort of “wit” emitted by a man who mistakes sneering for intellect and sarcasm for evidence of civilization. No one claimed Tim Walz was personally dispatching Somalis to haul away gun safes, you overcaffeinated clown. Your entire performance exists only because the modern progressive mind, softened by slogans and embalmed in self-congratulation, cannot confront disagreement without erecting a friggin' straw man.

 

[RoryN]

you are a dildo

What a magnificent slab of upholstered idiocy

^^^
Your thread is already doing its magic, Il74. Nice work.

 

[ll74]

What a magnificent slab of upholstered idiocy the above is, the sort of “wit” emitted by a man who mistakes sneering for intellect and sarcasm for evidence of civilization. No one claimed Tim Walz was personally dispatching Somalis to haul away gun safes, you overcaffeinated clown. Your entire performance exists only because the modern progressive mind, softened by slogans and embalmed in self-congratulation, cannot confront disagreement without erecting a friggin' straw man.

But it happened. I just told you it did.

 

[Rightguide]

But it happened. I just told you it did.

Yep, in your mind.

 

[coati]

IADT because I glanced at an online post showing the seashells observed by James Comey. This was right after a neighbor's cats disappeared.

Fortunately the Pig assured everyone that Comey would be executed at Gitmo and all cat-eating Haitians would be sent there also.

Thank gawd for the Pig's Nanny State.

 

[ll74]

Thank you for this public service.

Now that I have a safe space to do so, I will share as well: I almost died today because Jimmy Kimmel used legitimate humor in a way that did not match my personal political convictions.

The paramedics needed to use the paddles on me, but I will recover.

Did the paramedics have blue hair, tattoos or nose rings? It sounds like you were properly resesitated, so it sounds like no.

 

[glamorilla]

I got clocked in the head on easter sunday by a drugged out nigger on easter sunday a few years back.

 

[ll74]

Yep, in your mind.

Tell me how liberals almost dieded you today. This is a safe space.

 

[Rightguide]

Tell me how liberals almost dieded you today. This is a safe space.

Have you been drinking? Arguing with a drunk is a waste of time.

 

[RoryN]

Arguing with a drunk is a waste of time.

That can't be the only reason your wife left you, though.

 

[ll74]

Have you been drinking? Arguing with a drunk is a waste of time.

These are concerns, very biggly concerns. People being threatened by the left has grown by 7000% in the past ten minutes. Please take this seriously.

 

[ll74]

you are a dildo

Your kinks aren't interesting to me. Please....stop hitting on me

 

[RoryN]

got clocked in the head on easter sunday by a drugged out nigger on easter sunday a few years back.

^^^

1. This is the PB, not Penthouse Forum letters.

2. Please revisit this post. Your mental illness doesn't look to be improving.

 

[eric_erosfan]

I got clocked in the head on easter sunday by a drugged out nigger on easter sunday a few years back.

Was that before or after he butt-fucked you?

 

[RoryN]

Did the paramedics have blue hair, tattoos or nose rings? It sounds like you were properly resesitated, so it sounds like no.

Correct - the main paramedics did not have any of these. They were Evangelicals with perfect hair and Bible-based smiles; therefore, I survived.

However, one of the assistants had an anime sticker on her clipboard, suggesting potential alternative proclivities.

So, I will require a lung transplant after breathing some of the same air she did.

 

[RoryN]

I almost died today because someone who doesn't agree with me posted in my Ammosexual Safe Space thread.

Thank God I had enough memes and quotes to respond!

They didn't come close to hiding my contempt and anger, but at least I survived - and my penis didn't shrink.

(Like Rogaine: you don't grow anything new, but you keep what you've got.)

 

[ll74]

I got clocked in the head on easter sunday by a drugged out nigger on easter sunday a few years back.

In the interest of being a good forum steward, I think it's not a good idea to share your bank account passwords to the forum here. Be sure and change those right away and in the future, I'd suggest using numbers and symbols to make them more secure.

 

[coati]

I almost died today because someone who doesn't agree with me posted in my Ammosexual Safe Space thread.

Thank God I had enough memes and quotes to respond!

They didn't come close to hiding my contempt and anger, but at least I survived - and my penis didn't shrink.

(Like Rogaine: you don't grow anything new, but you keep what you've got.)

I always quote the Dalai Lama when that happens to me. It works as good as holding up a Cross to keep vampires away.

Also makes me look like I have Deep Thoughts.

 

[RoryN]

I always quote the Dalai Lama when that happens to me. It works as good as holding up a Cross to keep vampires away.

Also makes me look like I have Deep Thoughts.

I really appreciate you sharing that tip! It works 100% of the time, too.

Posting pictures of firearms you don't own, nor know how to use, can be nearly as effective.

But, if dial-up doesn't allow for you to download photos, here's a secret hack: talk about various types of ammo, and how difficult they are to procure.

 

[coati]

I really appreciate you sharing that tip! It works 100% of the time, too.

Posting pictures of firearms you don't own, nor know how to use, can be nearly as effective.

But, if dial-up doesn't allow for you to download photos, here's a secret hack: talk about various types of ammo, and how difficult they are to procure.

Also, it's helpful to whine about lib-rulls invading your safe space every day, while posting titty pics of women you have no chance of meeting IRL.

That clearly demonstrates you're a real man.

 

[RoryN]

Also, it's helpful to whine about lib-rulls invading your safe space every day, while posting titty pics of women you have no chance of meeting IRL.

Sad irony that the Ammosexual Safe Space thread starter posting tens of thousands of those titty pics under multiple alts ruined the practice for the entire forum.

 

[coati]

Sad irony that the Ammosexual Safe Space thread starter posting tens of thousands of those titty pics under multiple alts ruined the practice for the entire forum.

I almost died when Rory pointed that out on the Ammosexuality thread, so I called him a snitch and blamed it on him.

Then I resumed posting pics of restored cars and Nazi snuff porn. I'm completely normal.