If the poster above you were arrested, what would be the crime?

[VoraciousValue]

Pubic intoxication.

Not a typo.

Trying to make an unauthorized deposit in a sperm bank.

 

[jasonmason]

Trying to make an unauthorized deposit in a sperm bank.

Trying to collect Groucho’s Social Security Checks.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Ignored Smokey the Bear's advice about how only he could prevent forest fires.

Trying to collect Groucho’s Social Security Checks.

Hey, he's not using them!

 

[Jada59]

Ignored Smokey the Bear's advice about how only he could prevent forest fires.



Hey, he's not using them!

Smoking where smoking's not allowed.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Smoking where smoking's not allowed.

Running a cat house, of course.

 

[JJonah]

Murder.

Of the wrong victim.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Murder.

Of the wrong victim.

Faking his own murder to collect his life insurance policy

 

[Sensualdreamer]

Faking his own murder to collect his life insurance policy

Operating a meth lab

 

[LizVegas79]

Operating a meth lab

Dreaming romantic dreams than turn a little more than just romantic?

 

[DeckardNYC]

Dreaming romantic dreams than turn a little more than just romantic?

Health department violations at her "clinic."

 

[VoraciousValue]

Health department violations at her "clinic."

Transporting women across state lines for immoral purposes, which somehow ended in 22 counts of violating the Bank Secrecy Act.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Transporting women across state lines for immoral purposes, which somehow ended in 22 counts of violating the Bank Secrecy Act.

Smuggling Cohibas

 

[TongueLust]

Dyeing his beard.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Stealing someone’s yacht and piloting it wearing only a captain’s hat

Tried to seduce Mike Pence, even after he shouted: "Devil woman, get out of my way!"

 

[Taegul]

Tried to seduce Mike Pence, even after he shouted: "Devil woman, get out of my way!"

Put his Bill Clinton-taught cigar technique to use at a local convent.

 

[DarkSimian]

Put his Bill Clinton-taught cigar technique to use at a local convent.

Impersonating a longshoreman

 

[Violetvixen1]

Impersonating a longshoreman

Incest. Definitely incest!

 

[VoraciousValue]

Causing a traffic accident by flashing the driver of a car in the next lane over

Got caught giving Pat Robertson a lap dance on live TV.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Got caught giving Pat Robertson a lap dance on live TV.

Slapping people with a stick. Took his job way to serious there.

 

[jasonmason]

Slapping people with a stick. Took his job way to serious there.

Arson since she's so hot.

 

[nowisthetime]

Arson since she's so hot.

Poking a hole in the raft...

 

[Misshotndeep]

Poking a hole in the raft...

Littering banana peels all over.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Spontaneous combustion....

Causing a riot when he did open mike night at the local comedy club, and told esoteric math jokes.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Causing a riot when he did open mike night at the local comedy club and told esoteric math jokes.

Running up walls while naked.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Running up walls while naked.

Kidnapping -- they found three men in her depths.