Is honesty in a relationship a good thing or a bad thing?????

[trixiefirecracker]

Honesty is the best policy...i agree with that.

HOWEVER,.......honesty can be difficult when you have an over jealous and often possesive partner or husband.....being honest can lead to a barrage of questions and false and unsubstanciated accusations,which can then put strain on a relationship.

Yes honesty is important....but TRUST needs to go hand in hand with honesty for everything to work properly. I trust my husband with my life but i know for a fact that he hardly trusts me at all...and in hindsight i kinda feel that you shouldn't go into a marriage unless you have 100% trust on both sides, because all you come out with is a load of unhappiness.

I don't regret for a second the fact that i got married...I love my husband to death, but the lack of trust in our relationship somethimes makes it hard for me to be totally honest with him. Who wants to come home on a monday and say 'im going out with the girls on friday' only to then be faced with interogations every night between now and then about exactly who is going..are any men going that i haven't told him about etc.......followed up afterwards by accusations of what you have supposedly done while you were on this night out.

There needs to be a balance....

 

[Lady_Sam]

{{{{SE}}}} Nice to see you again hun.


If I were in a relationship again (not that I think its going to happen anytime soon) I believe that honesty is the best policy. I've been hurt one too many times by the "she's too stupid to know the truth"

 

[caller.]

the general feeling is that honesty is most definitely the best policy in any relationship, and yes trust and honesty go hand in hand, but surely to gain 100% trust you first have to be totally honest.

 

[AME]

For me honesty is of the utmost importance.....
My husbands not only my lover, my partner, the father of
my children...but hes also my best friend.

If i cant tell him everything...well then i think we are pretty
well fucked....and i do expect the same in return. However
I truely believe to do this you need to add alot of patience and
understanding. Sometimes you have to sit there and listen
even if you dont really want to hear.

Hey Trix...the jealousy gets under control but it takes a little
time...and im not sure if its that he doesnt trust you.....or all
the other morons out there that we deal with. I think sometimes
as woman we look at things being far more innocent then they
really are. And maybe we trust a little more easily too.

For me....no honesty...no marriage.
But honesty is a major for me in all aspects of my life!!

Ame

 

[caller.]

For me honesty is of the utmost importance.....
My husbands not only my lover, my partner, the father of
my children...but hes also my best friend.

If i cant tell him everything...well then i think we are pretty
well fucked....and i do expect the same in return. However
I truely believe to do this you need to add alot of patience and
understanding. Sometimes you have to sit there and listen
even if you dont really want to hear.

Hey Trix...the jealousy gets under control but it takes a little
time...and im not sure if its that he doesnt trust you.....or all
the other morons out there that we deal with. I think sometimes
as woman we look at things being far more innocent then they
really are. And maybe we trust a little more easily too.

For me....no honesty...no marriage.
But honesty is a major for me in all aspects of my life!!

Ame

hi ame what a beautiful evil woman you are, in more ways than one.....

 

[Artemesia]

Tell the truth!

Yes, I want to know if my lover has a real life lover or on line lover.

I want the truth.

In telling the truth, you are demonstrating your respect for me and I, in return will respect you.

Of course, if you really do believe in being honest, you may never have taken the on line or real time lover, as you would have told me that you were restless, unhappy, bored or whatever.

Ahhhh, then knowing that there is a problem, I can chose to work on it or not.

So, by lying, you take away my choices.
By lying, you insult me. Don't decide for me what I can handle or not handle well.
In lying, you show your lack of trust and respect for me.

The pain of hearing a harsh truth is far less than the humiliation of discovering a lie.

You said it sister!

 

[caller.]

i'm not quite sure if i have started a good thing here or a bad thing, but thanks to everyone who has posted so far, it is greatly appreciated.....

 

[MissTaken]

Wow!

Thank you all for reading and posting feedback.

Sometimes, I get a bit over zealous on the boards.


Now trixie?

Yes, you need balance in your relationship.
We all do.

It is up to you and him to find it, figure out what will work.
It isn't easy and it sucks.
Good luck.

Of course, what do I know?
My marriage failed

 

[MissTaken]

i'm not quite sure if i have started a good thing here or a bad thing, but thanks to everyone who has posted so far, it is greatly appreciated.....

It is a good thing.

The more we see the "H" word on the net, perhaps it increases the chance that we recieve a bit more honesty?

Who knows?

Maybe honesty will become a trend?

 

[caller.]

It is a good thing.

The more we see the "H" word on the net, perhaps it increases the chance that we recieve a bit more honesty?

Who knows?

Maybe honesty will become a trend?

lol misstaken wecan only hope...

 

[tonitits]

Wow!

Thank you all for reading and posting feedback.

Sometimes, I get a bit over zealous on the boards.


Now trixie?

Yes, you need balance in your relationship.
We all do.

It is up to you and him to find it, figure out what will work.
It isn't easy and it sucks.
Good luck.

Of course, what do I know?
My marriage failed

Miss T, I think that we have all had failed relationships. Whether it is a friendship, marriage or b/f g/f, etc.. The thing is did we learn from those failed relationship. I was brought up with the notion that honesty was the best policy. As a kid I just thought that that was something adults told us so we would not lie to them. However, as I became an adult and seen many things in my time. I definitely believe that honesty is the best policy. I am a pretty strong person and can take just about anything that is told to me, if you are honest. And then it is my choice to choose what I am going to do with that information. But I am more likely to be forgiving if you are honest than if you like and I find out the truth! Thanks for your words,you have a way of saying what we are all feeling but do not know how to say it.

 

[caller.]

Miss T, I think that we have all had failed relationships. Whether it is a friendship, marriage or b/f g/f, etc.. The thing is did we learn from those failed relationship. I was brought up with the notion that honesty was the best policy. As a kid I just thought that that was something adults told us so we would not lie to them. However, as I became an adult and seen many things in my time. I definitely believe that honesty is the best policy. I am a pretty strong person and can take just about anything that is told to me, if you are honest. And then it is my choice to choose what I am going to do with that information. But I am more likely to be forgiving if you are honest than if you like and I find out the truth! Thanks for your words,you have a way of saying what we are all feeling but do not know how to say it.

i couldn't agree more toni....i too can take just about anything if its the truth, sometimes it may hurt, but i find it easier to deal with than if i am lied too, then find out the truth at a later date, whether that is days, weeks,months, or even years later...