Kim's poly/kink thread reinvented ...

[IsItBad]

2 cents

having had several affairs, having been divorced, being currently married and having had some affairs while in this marriage.....and having lived a good while......my conclusions are these:

i apparently attract a certain kind of woman .....a good stable......moral.....reliable....woman....apparently ultra conventional.....and essentially fairly non-sexual......now there was plenty of sex in the romancing/honeymoon stage....but near zilch shortly thereafter......one might conclude.....the sex was necessary to get hitched

and so....after considerable effort .....one gives up and goes and finds the sex wherever one can.....generally fairly easy to do......generally much easier for a nice stable MARRIED MAN to get laid then a single man......and so....i have spent probably 1/3 of my current marriage of 25 years involved with someone else on the side......

did i really want it to be that way? hell no. i had much rather have actually had a sexual relationship with my wife. but.....after a year of no sex.....and blisters on both hands....it was time to take action....and for the record, there has been at least one period of time in which we had zero sex for more than 5 years

truth is....i believe if my wife could be honest about it....shed be fine with me fucking someone else (so she wouldn't feel any pressure) as long as she was confident i wasnt going to leave.....i have even considered just asking her....do you want to just have an open marriage?.......

anyway.....its a long way around the bush to say.....it is less than common for a man and a woman to be equally matched in most areas.....some may have a torrid sex life but one spends money like crazy while the other one tries to save.....some may have an ideal friendship relationship but one or the other simply doesn't care about sex.....there are an infinite number of variations

for the one, however, who has a normal sex drive.....but winds up with someone who could care less about sex......they are put into a terrible position....either cheat.....or be celibate....or be satisfied with masturbation.....which....after some time that just is not a replacement for actual intimacy......and so ....one has to cheat

i had a girlfriend once who assumed eventually we would get married....and that when we did....we would be faithful to one another.....even though we were both married the entire time we were seeing one another.....perhaps it could have been so as we had good natural chemistry and seemed to both have a similar appetite.....but....we never put it to the test.....

sadly, i say, we just have to find ways that do work......ways that we can live with.....ways that get us some amount of satisfaction.....and try to feel ok with however that turns out to be......

 

[IsItBad]

nice

Looking forward to some wild ass fuckery in the weekend ... the gentleman caller I entertained the other week (and who left the glowing review) has invited me to visit him for a sleepover. I asked what I should bring ... meaning, you know, wine or pastries for breakfast or whatever. He replied 'bring toys'. This is good. (I may pick up some flowers on my way out of town.) I'm off to get waxed shortly - I always have to remind myself that the brief moments of pain and indignity are worth the longer term outcome. And then I can agonise over what to wear ... it's winter here, and we just came into a particular cold (for here) snap, and where he is it's inland and up high, so always colder than my pleasant beachside town. I find dressing for dates in the cold much more difficult ... but, on the con side, where he lives is one of the countries main thermal areas, and we're expecting to be able to fit in a trip to some pools that happen to be both our favourite ones.

It's definitely easier seeing someone who's already seen me naked. I'm hating on my belly so much at the moment, but he's seen it, and obviously wants to see it again, so I'll try and keep all that dislike to myself. I am gradually getting back to the body I remember having not so long ago, and in a way that's actually sustainable ... exercise is bloody hard though. It's not even that I'm lazy - I just always seem to have other things that need doing. A good brisk walk into town today though, to visit the waxologist, and then some yoga tonight with the mean yoga teacher who really pushes us. (Actually, she's quite lovely - totally flakey but also funny and very encouraging. And I have to remind myself that I am literally the oldest person in the class ... those 22 year olds who can bend themselves in half will be in their 50s one day too.)

hope you have the most amazing time!

 

[KimGordon67]

having had several affairs, having been divorced, being currently married and having had some affairs while in this marriage.....and having lived a good while......my conclusions are these:

i apparently attract a certain kind of woman .....a good stable......moral.....reliable....woman....apparently ultra conventional.....and essentially fairly non-sexual......now there was plenty of sex in the romancing/honeymoon stage....but near zilch shortly thereafter......one might conclude.....the sex was necessary to get hitched

and so....after considerable effort .....one gives up and goes and finds the sex wherever one can.....generally fairly easy to do......generally much easier for a nice stable MARRIED MAN to get laid then a single man......and so....i have spent probably 1/3 of my current marriage of 25 years involved with someone else on the side......

did i really want it to be that way? hell no. i had much rather have actually had a sexual relationship with my wife. but.....after a year of no sex.....and blisters on both hands....it was time to take action....and for the record, there has been at least one period of time in which we had zero sex for more than 5 years

truth is....i believe if my wife could be honest about it....shed be fine with me fucking someone else (so she wouldn't feel any pressure) as long as she was confident i wasnt going to leave.....i have even considered just asking her....do you want to just have an open marriage?.......

anyway.....its a long way around the bush to say.....it is less than common for a man and a woman to be equally matched in most areas.....some may have a torrid sex life but one spends money like crazy while the other one tries to save.....some may have an ideal friendship relationship but one or the other simply doesn't care about sex.....there are an infinite number of variations

for the one, however, who has a normal sex drive.....but winds up with someone who could care less about sex......they are put into a terrible position....either cheat.....or be celibate....or be satisfied with masturbation.....which....after some time that just is not a replacement for actual intimacy......and so ....one has to cheat

i had a girlfriend once who assumed eventually we would get married....and that when we did....we would be faithful to one another.....even though we were both married the entire time we were seeing one another.....perhaps it could have been so as we had good natural chemistry and seemed to both have a similar appetite.....but....we never put it to the test.....

sadly, i say, we just have to find ways that do work......ways that we can live with.....ways that get us some amount of satisfaction.....and try to feel ok with however that turns out to be......

It's interesting that in a whole thread that is, in a large part, about ethical non-monogamy, you'd position 'cheating or celibacy' as the only options?

I spend a lot of time thinking about this. When we're faced with situation we're unhappy with, there's a range of options - the two I see for myself are either fight to change to the situation (which doesn't always mean 'fighting' in the literal sense, but more doing something to actually change things), or find a way to be OK about the situation. Mostly, I'm a pretty fighty person - if I can see a better way that's actually feasible, I'll push to get there, provided people I care about don't get hurt along the way. My tolerance for unhappiness is pretty low. Other people seem more able to deal with that. Maybe that's a skill I need to learn, as my pushing does fuck people off a lot. But I'm also pretty content with where I've ended up, and I don't think I've really damaged anyone along the way.

I also found cheating, for myself, untenable. In the end, it made me too unhappy to enjoy the actual thing.

 

[KimGordon67]

Have fun! (it sure sounds like you certainly will)

Jealous for your "wild ass fuckery this weekend"!

I'm going to endeavour to not drink ALL the wine this time, so I remember things a bit more clearly. Also, will attempt to not put my back out. Hence the yoga tonight!

 

[Moochienanu]

having had several affairs, having been divorced, being currently married and having had some affairs while in this marriage.....and having lived a good while......my conclusions are these:

i apparently attract a certain kind of woman .....a good stable......moral.....reliable....woman....apparently ultra conventional.....and essentially fairly non-sexual......now there was plenty of sex in the romancing/honeymoon stage....but near zilch shortly thereafter......one might conclude.....the sex was necessary to get hitched

and so....after considerable effort .....one gives up and goes and finds the sex wherever one can.....generally fairly easy to do......generally much easier for a nice stable MARRIED MAN to get laid then a single man......and so....i have spent probably 1/3 of my current marriage of 25 years involved with someone else on the side......

did i really want it to be that way? hell no. i had much rather have actually had a sexual relationship with my wife. but.....after a year of no sex.....and blisters on both hands....it was time to take action....and for the record, there has been at least one period of time in which we had zero sex for more than 5 years

truth is....i believe if my wife could be honest about it....shed be fine with me fucking someone else (so she wouldn't feel any pressure) as long as she was confident i wasnt going to leave.....i have even considered just asking her....do you want to just have an open marriage?.......

anyway.....its a long way around the bush to say.....it is less than common for a man and a woman to be equally matched in most areas.....some may have a torrid sex life but one spends money like crazy while the other one tries to save.....some may have an ideal friendship relationship but one or the other simply doesn't care about sex.....there are an infinite number of variations

for the one, however, who has a normal sex drive.....but winds up with someone who could care less about sex......they are put into a terrible position....either cheat.....or be celibate....or be satisfied with masturbation.....which....after some time that just is not a replacement for actual intimacy......and so ....one has to cheat

i had a girlfriend once who assumed eventually we would get married....and that when we did....we would be faithful to one another.....even though we were both married the entire time we were seeing one another.....perhaps it could have been so as we had good natural chemistry and seemed to both have a similar appetite.....but....we never put it to the test.....

sadly, i say, we just have to find ways that do work......ways that we can live with.....ways that get us some amount of satisfaction.....and try to feel ok with however that turns out to be......

It genuinely affects polyamorous people negatively when monogamous people equate what we do with cheating.

Polyamory and open marriages are not the same thing.

My partners know about each other.

I am not sneaking.

I am not hiding anything.

My husband and I are not just living the way we do because we need more or less sex.

I am very happy with my life and the choices I’ve made with my partners.

Now, I realize I am typing this in a fit of (probably) undeserved anger because you likely have never experienced ethical non-monogamy yourself, but this doesn’t allow you to be ignorant. Read before you reply next time, please.

 

[KimGordon67]

It genuinely affects polyamorous people negatively when monogamous people equate what we do with cheating.

Polyamory and open marriages are not the same thing.

My partners know about each other.

I am not sneaking.

I am not hiding anything.

My husband and I are not just living the way we do because we need more or less sex.

I am very happy with my life and the choices I’ve made with my partners.

Now, I realize I am typing this in a fit of (probably) undeserved anger because you likely have never experienced ethical non-monogamy yourself, but this doesn’t allow you to be ignorant. Read before you reply next time, please.

Oh ... I didn't read that as the poster implying that I'm cheating ... but maybe he is?

I'm really slowly coming around to seeing the finer distinctions between having an 'open relationship' and being poly ... it's take a while to get there, and I'm still not really sure where I'm positioned on the spectrum, or where my ideal sits ... or maybe I'm at my ideal and that's just a shifting state. I'm happy to have found someone who doesn't seem to feel the need to be the only person I see, and to be genuinely happy that he sees other people (in fact, my return review came wit a total recommendation for anyone else who might be interested in making his acquaintance). I'm still working it all out, really, but it's become a happy process instead of a battle, which has always been my main goal.

 

[Islander55]

having had several affairs, having been divorced, being currently married and having had some affairs while in this marriage.....and having lived a good while......my conclusions are these:

i apparently attract a certain kind of woman .....a good stable......moral.....reliable....woman....apparently ultra conventional.....and essentially fairly non-sexual......now there was plenty of sex in the romancing/honeymoon stage....but near zilch shortly thereafter......one might conclude.....the sex was necessary to get hitched

and so....after considerable effort .....one gives up and goes and finds the sex wherever one can.....generally fairly easy to do......generally much easier for a nice stable MARRIED MAN to get laid then a single man......and so....i have spent probably 1/3 of my current marriage of 25 years involved with someone else on the side......

did i really want it to be that way? hell no. i had much rather have actually had a sexual relationship with my wife. but.....after a year of no sex.....and blisters on both hands....it was time to take action....and for the record, there has been at least one period of time in which we had zero sex for more than 5 years

truth is....i believe if my wife could be honest about it....shed be fine with me fucking someone else (so she wouldn't feel any pressure) as long as she was confident i wasnt going to leave.....i have even considered just asking her....do you want to just have an open marriage?.......

anyway.....its a long way around the bush to say.....it is less than common for a man and a woman to be equally matched in most areas.....some may have a torrid sex life but one spends money like crazy while the other one tries to save.....some may have an ideal friendship relationship but one or the other simply doesn't care about sex.....there are an infinite number of variations

for the one, however, who has a normal sex drive.....but winds up with someone who could care less about sex......they are put into a terrible position....either cheat.....or be celibate....or be satisfied with masturbation.....which....after some time that just is not a replacement for actual intimacy......and so ....one has to cheat

i had a girlfriend once who assumed eventually we would get married....and that when we did....we would be faithful to one another.....even though we were both married the entire time we were seeing one another.....perhaps it could have been so as we had good natural chemistry and seemed to both have a similar appetite.....but....we never put it to the test.....

sadly, i say, we just have to find ways that do work......ways that we can live with.....ways that get us some amount of satisfaction.....and try to feel ok with however that turns out to be......

In my 60's so have been around the block a few times. My theory is that monogamy is not a natural state for humans. There may be a few people for whom it works but I am betting they tend to have a lower sex drive. The idea of one person being everything for another person just does not work for me. I have a good partner and we share a lot and work well together but I have some interest that bore him to death and vice versa. Life is not all about sex but that does intrude on my thoughts now and then. I have cheated a few times during our marriage and I agree with Kim in that is not a good way to go. We have decided to be completely open and honest, enjoy some things together but we are both free to explore other interests including sexual interest.

Enough said. Kim has announced some lovely weekend plans and we are wondering off topic. Personally I am a bit jealous but do hope you have a great time.

 

[KimGordon67]

In my 60's so have been around the block a few times. My theory is that monogamy is not a natural state for humans. There may be a few people for whom it works but I am betting they tend to have a lower sex drive. The idea of one person being everything for another person just does not work for me. I have a good partner and we share a lot and work well together but I have some interest that bore him to death and vice versa. Life is not all about sex but that does intrude on my thoughts now and then. I have cheated a few times during our marriage and I agree with Kim in that is not a good way to go. We have decided to be completely open and honest, enjoy some things together but we are both free to explore other interests including sexual interest.

Enough said. Kim has announced some lovely weekend plans and we are wondering off topic. Personally I am a bit jealous but do hope you have a great time.

Hmmm ... I'm not sure that monogamy equates with a low sex drive. My ex-husband certainly enjoyed a pretty good amount of sex, but monogamy is definitely his 'natural' state. Weirdly, in the end we've ended up maintaining a lot of what made our marriage good, so I'm happy about that. And he has a girlfriend that he seems happy with (although very definitely keeping her a bit at arm's length, which is interesting).

And I do think this conversation is totally ON topic for the thread in general ... it's a multi-tasking thread.

 

[bitslinger]

When we're faced with situation we're unhappy with, there's a range of options - the two I see for myself are either fight to change to the situation (which doesn't always mean 'fighting' in the literal sense, but more doing something to actually change things), or find a way to be OK about the situation.

Fighting for change wears a person down after a while. Having a low-drive partner who still acknowledges the role of sex in the relationship and who wants to hold up their end of and keep working on it can feel like pushing the proverbial stone up the hill. In the end, with the mutual effort, it's possible to be OK with the situation on the whole. Still, the 'ups' that come from talking, making a mutual effort to find what works, and the upswing in sex can become bitersweet, tainted with the anticipation of the 'downs' that will follow, where the stone slowly rolls back down. At the lowest points there needs to be the will to put a shoulder against the stone and roll it back up the hill again.

 

[KimGordon67]

Fighting for change wears a person down after a while. Having a low-drive partner who still acknowledges the role of sex in the relationship and who wants to hold up their end of and keep working on it can feel like pushing the proverbial stone up the hill. In the end, with the mutual effort, it's possible to be OK with the situation on the whole. Still, the 'ups' that come from talking, making a mutual effort to find what works, and the upswing in sex can become bitersweet, tainted with the anticipation of the 'downs' that will follow, where the stone slowly rolls back down. At the lowest points there needs to be the will to put a shoulder against the stone and roll it back up the hill again.

I totally get what you mean, but can you not put a wedge under that stone? Mutually acknowledge that it's going to roll back (based on clear empirical evidence, not fear), and work on a mutually agreeable wedge. Is seeing a professional sometimes (like, a professional sex worker, not a therapist ... although certainly a few sex workers see their work as therapy) an option? I've known of a lot of sex workers who have regular clients with whom they develop quite affectionate relationships, but obviously it also reduces the 'threat' to the other partner of their husband/wife/whatever leaving them for someone else. (Actually, I don't know why this isn't seen as a viable option more often.*)

*Obviously I do know why, but it does seem like such a mutually beneficial and neat solution to the 'sexless marriage' problem that seems to permeate the Lit boards.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I love multi-tasking! (Hahaha - actually, I don't.)

I think the key is finding that place where you are happy - whatever your relationship status is or isn't. Some folks just can't/won't be happy, and that is their choice.

Sounds like you've got a nice weekend ahead Kim! Enjoy it and just take it easy. And we want to hear about any particularly wild fuckery that happens - because that is just how we roll.

 

[KimGordon67]

I love multi-tasking! (Hahaha - actually, I don't.)

I think the key is finding that place where you are happy - whatever your relationship status is or isn't. Some folks just can't/won't be happy, and that is their choice.

Sounds like you've got a nice weekend ahead Kim! Enjoy it and just take it easy. And we want to hear about any particularly wild fuckery that happens - because that is just how we roll.

Perv.

 

[Islander55]

Hmmm ... I'm not sure that monogamy equates with a low sex drive. My ex-husband certainly enjoyed a pretty good amount of sex, but monogamy is definitely his 'natural' state. Weirdly, in the end we've ended up maintaining a lot of what made our marriage good, so I'm happy about that. And he has a girlfriend that he seems happy with (although very definitely keeping her a bit at arm's length, which is interesting).

And I do think this conversation is totally ON topic for the thread in general ... it's a multi-tasking thread.

I concede the point on monogamy and sex drive. One does not necessarily follow the other though it would be easier to be monogamous if sex was not important in your life. Just to be argumentative, I might suggest that your ex is simply more comfortable with monogamy as opposed to it being his natural state. While I have no academic expertise, I would suggest that a non monogamous relationship may put more strain on a man than a woman. Especially older men.

 

[MrRetro]

Looking forward to some wild ass fuckery in the weekend ... the gentleman caller I entertained the other week (and who left the glowing review) has invited me to visit him for a sleepover. I asked what I should bring ... meaning, you know, wine or pastries for breakfast or whatever. He replied 'bring toys'. This is good. (I may pick up some flowers on my way out of town.) I'm off to get waxed shortly - I always have to remind myself that the brief moments of pain and indignity are worth the longer term outcome. And then I can agonise over what to wear ... it's winter here, and we just came into a particular cold (for here) snap, and where he is it's inland and up high, so always colder than my pleasant beachside town. I find dressing for dates in the cold much more difficult ... but, on the con side, where he lives is one of the countries main thermal areas, and we're expecting to be able to fit in a trip to some pools that happen to be both our favourite ones.

It's definitely easier seeing someone who's already seen me naked. I'm hating on my belly so much at the moment, but he's seen it, and obviously wants to see it again, so I'll try and keep all that dislike to myself. I am gradually getting back to the body I remember having not so long ago, and in a way that's actually sustainable ... exercise is bloody hard though. It's not even that I'm lazy - I just always seem to have other things that need doing. A good brisk walk into town today though, to visit the waxologist, and then some yoga tonight with the mean yoga teacher who really pushes us. (Actually, she's quite lovely - totally flakey but also funny and very encouraging. And I have to remind myself that I am literally the oldest person in the class ... those 22 year olds who can bend themselves in half will be in their 50s one day too.)

May your wild ass fuckery surpass your expectations again Kim..! Oh, and I hope your waxologist was kind to you.. I wonder if your lover will go to such lengths..

 

[KimGordon67]

May your wild ass fuckery surpass your expectations again Kim..! Oh, and I hope your waxologist was kind to you.. I wonder if your lover will go to such lengths..

I think he does! My memory of detail is a little hazy, but I seem to remember everything being unusually smooth. I'll pay more attention this time

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Have fun! (it sure sounds like you certainly will)
Jealous for your "wild ass fuckery this weekend"!

Me too.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I personally don't think gender makes a significant difference in whether a person is monogamous or non-monogamous. I think the deeper impact and the driving force behind it far more subtle - culture, expectations, nurturing events. That is a lot to work you way through to find your comfort zone. The forces that create strain in a monogamous relationship also come from the same place - culture, expectations, life events.

Navigating our way through that maze is always a challenge - and that challenge is made more difficult by the whole protestant Christian societal and cultural environment most people grow up in. Even when one has explicitly or implicitly rejected the protestant/Christian sexual ethic, that influence still remains as more or folkway.

I'm constantly amazed by the people who have rejected Christianity as a religion and yet still retain the primarily Christian (monogamous) sexual ethic. Just one of the wonders of life I guess. I think that, as beings with agency, we are shaped sexually by three driving forces - nature (which influences our sex drive), nurture (the prevalent environment we were formed in) and choice (how we navigate out own personal sexual choices).

 

[KimGordon67]

In other news, I had an interesting approach yesterday from the woman in a hetero-couple, who asked if I'd be interested in a 'voyeur' type situation - i.e. having sex with her husband while she watched. The longer term intention is to see if that flows into a threesome situation, but she's still unsure about how she feels about being with another woman, so they're doing a sort of 'easing into it' approach. I have to say I'm intrigued. I really like her honesty and thoughtfulness, and there's something about the fact that they're not all 'all or nothing', like so many people on the site I'm using. It's also nice to be approached by her - with the hetero-couples looking for sole women, it seems to often be the guys who do the approaching, and they seem to be this curiously prevalent 'straight male/bi-curious female' combination that occurs with an alarming regularity that makes me a bit skeptical.

I also may have messaged the local youngster last night to see if he'd be interested in a random mmf threesome at some point soon. My long-standing and unrealised fantasy might actually see the light of day!

 

[Paul_Chance]

Best wishes on fulfilling your fantasy! (I'd volunteer but well - Pacific Ocean, half the circumference of the world)

 

[KimGordon67]

Best wishes on fulfilling your fantasy! (I'd volunteer but well - Pacific Ocean, half the circumference of the world)

Trust me, if it was at all viable, that wouldn't be the only fantasy I'd be asking you to help with.

 

[cookiecat]

In other news, I had an interesting approach yesterday from the woman in a hetero-couple, who asked if I'd be interested in a 'voyeur' type situation - i.e. having sex with her husband while she watched. The longer term intention is to see if that flows into a threesome situation, but she's still unsure about how she feels about being with another woman, so they're doing a sort of 'easing into it' approach. I have to say I'm intrigued. I really like her honesty and thoughtfulness, and there's something about the fact that they're not all 'all or nothing', like so many people on the site I'm using. It's also nice to be approached by her - with the hetero-couples looking for sole women, it seems to often be the guys who do the approaching, and they seem to be this curiously prevalent 'straight male/bi-curious female' combination that occurs with an alarming regularity that makes me a bit skeptical.

I also may have messaged the local youngster last night to see if he'd be interested in a random mmf threesome at some point soon. My long-standing and unrealised fantasy might actually see the light of day!

Gah! I'm living vicariously through this thread.

Covid sucks!

How do you feel about being watched in that first situation??

 

[KimGordon67]

Gah! I'm living vicariously through this thread.

Covid sucks!

How do you feel about being watched in that first situation??

I could set up a Zoom meeting for you?

I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, so I'm ok with that. I can kind of see the whole thing being kind of fun if everyone is relaxed. I've exchanged a few messages with her - we seem to have a similar sense of humour, which is a good sign.

 

[MrRetro]

In other news, I had an interesting approach yesterday from the woman in a hetero-couple, who asked if I'd be interested in a 'voyeur' type situation - i.e. having sex with her husband while she watched. The longer term intention is to see if that flows into a threesome situation, but she's still unsure about how she feels about being with another woman, so they're doing a sort of 'easing into it' approach. I have to say I'm intrigued. I really like her honesty and thoughtfulness, and there's something about the fact that they're not all 'all or nothing', like so many people on the site I'm using. It's also nice to be approached by her - with the hetero-couples looking for sole women, it seems to often be the guys who do the approaching, and they seem to be this curiously prevalent 'straight male/bi-curious female' combination that occurs with an alarming regularity that makes me a bit skeptical.

I also may have messaged the local youngster last night to see if he'd be interested in a random mmf threesome at some point soon. My long-standing and unrealised fantasy might actually see the light of day!

Now that is some great news, I’m sure your local man won’t be able to refuse such an offer..! I can’t wait to hear more about this exciting development..

 

[KimGordon67]

... and a great 20ish hours. Forest walk, a couple of hours lounging around in thermal pools, cute wee Mexican place for dinner, some drinking and laughing at music videos and other things, rounded out with some epic fuckery in front of the fire and rambly conversation until 3am. My head is a little worse for wear today, but totally worth it. And I'm discovering the goodness of just enjoying hanging out and getting naked with someone without it all being fraught with not knowing what the hell is going on and without anyone looking in danger of falling in love. Not that love isn't great and all, but I really just need a bit of a break from all the stuff that it so often seems to with ... like a break of about a decade or so.

 

[phil1955]

... and a great 20ish hours. Forest walk, a couple of hours lounging around in thermal pools, cute wee Mexican place for dinner, some drinking and laughing at music videos and other things, rounded out with some epic fuckery in front of the fire and rambly conversation until 3am. My head is a little worse for wear today, but totally worth it. And I'm discovering the goodness of just enjoying hanging out and getting naked with someone without it all being fraught with not knowing what the hell is going on and without anyone looking in danger of falling in love. Not that love isn't great and all, but I really just need a bit of a break from all the stuff that it so often seems to with ... like a break of about a decade or so.

Glad to hear you had a nice weekend. Beaches and thermal pools. You do have a some great things there. Throw in some wild assed fuckery and you have a good thing going. I would hit on you and plan to come for a visit but it does not look like an American passport is going to get me into many countries for the near future.