Laughter is Contagious
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techsan
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Gotta Love Them Texans!
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Midland, Texas, awaiting their flights.
One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Houston for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Texas State University from the Middle East.
Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.
The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.
The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes. Finally, the American Indian clears his throat
and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."
The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The West Texas cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."
Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Midland, Texas, awaiting their flights.
One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Houston for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Texas State University from the Middle East.
Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.
The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face.
The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes. Finally, the American Indian clears his throat
and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."
The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"
The West Texas cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'."
techsan
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You can fill in number 9, JJ ... notice that was left open just for you!joyjuice said:Those are great....the next time I have a colonoscopy, I'll try to think of something funny and see if I can get the Dr to laugh....might as well enjoy the process in some way!!
techsan
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Not all military ideas are good. Here's a test film of a Russian Amphibious Helicopter ... actually I added the "amphibious" ...
Russian Helicopter
Russian Helicopter
Dynamite
I got this today & had to share...
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"? She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby?? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
I got this today & had to share...
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"? She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby?? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
kayte
This Was My Favorite Toy
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joyjuice said:I got this today & had to share...
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"? She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby?? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
LMAO!!
Thank you Joy ~ I am so happy I set my coffee down before reading new posts! Otherwise it would be all over my keyboard, and I have a notebook!
leevining
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joyjuice wrote:"Those are great....the next time I have a colonoscopy, I'll try to think of something funny and see if I can get the Dr to laugh....might as well enjoy the process in some way!!
JJ; not too good of an idea to get that Dr laughing while he's "working", if ya get my drift.........leev
JJ; not too good of an idea to get that Dr laughing while he's "working", if ya get my drift.........leev
techsan
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Let's Say I Break Into Your House
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A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know.
And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America....if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it as a good smile. If not blow it off along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.
Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know.
And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.
Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America....if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it as a good smile. If not blow it off along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.
leevining
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Golfing Accident
A man staggers into an Emergency Room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows."
"We went to look for them, and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. And that's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail, and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!"
"I don't remember much after that."
A man staggers into an Emergency Room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows."
"We went to look for them, and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. And that's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail, and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!"
"I don't remember much after that."
wally2450
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Storm
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunder-
storm. As the passengers were being bounced around by
the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister
sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks,
"Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something
about this storm?"
To which he replies, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management."
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunder-
storm. As the passengers were being bounced around by
the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister
sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks,
"Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something
about this storm?"
To which he replies, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management."
done_got_old
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techsan
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Here's a new use for duct tape that you may not have seen yet ...
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http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/DuctTape.jpg
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http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/DuctTape.jpg
done_got_old
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techsan
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techsan
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techsan
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http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon43.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon42.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon41.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon40.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon39.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon42.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon41.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon40.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon39.jpg
done_got_old
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Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:50 PM. He sat next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was starting to come on and was doing it's lead in teaser on a story the news crew was covering of a man on the ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump"
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on".
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 6 o'clock news and I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump"
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on".
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 6 o'clock news and I knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money.
techsan
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http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon38.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon37.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon36.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon35.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon34.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon37.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon36.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon35.jpg
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/A-E/Cartoon34.jpg
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