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Laughter is Contagious

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techsan said:
From Copperbutterfly ...

To My Darling Husband;

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck whenI turned into the driveway. Fortunately not

to bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent

but the pickup fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me.

You know how much I love you and care for you. Sweetheart, I cannot wait to hold

you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.


http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/Lovingwife.jpg
Click to expand...
Ooops!!
 
Those Sneaky Marines...

:rolleyes: :rose: If a Muslim views a woman naked, the penalty is death. Go Marines!
 
Last edited:
Daily Humor
October 12, 2006


In my job as administrator of a county jail, I was informed one day that a container of "home brew" had been found in one of the jail dormitories. Unable to identify the brewmaster, I dispatched a memo. "To the Men of `A' Dorm: Roses are red, violets are blue, nice try guys, but you don't get the brew." I thought the matter was closed until I found a response on my desk the next day. "To the Administrator: Roses are red, violets are blue, you found one, we made two!"

- submitted to Reader's Digest by Joe Coco
 

Makes sense to me!!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms01.jpg

A minister decided that a visual demonstration
Would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms02.gif

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon,
The Minister reported the following results:

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms03.gif

The first worm in alcohol -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms04.jpg

The second worm in cigarette smoke -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms05.gif

Third worm in chocolate syrup -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms06.gif

Fourth worm in good clean soil -

Alive

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms07.gif

So the Minister asked the congregation -

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms08.gif

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back,
Quickly raised her hand and said,

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms09.gif

"As long as you drink,
Smoke and eat chocolate,

You won't have worms!"
 
techsan said:

Makes sense to me!!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms01.jpg

A minister decided that a visual demonstration
Would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms02.gif

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon,
The Minister reported the following results:

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms03.gif

The first worm in alcohol -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms04.jpg

The second worm in cigarette smoke -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms05.gif

Third worm in chocolate syrup -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms06.gif

Fourth worm in good clean soil -

Alive

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms07.gif

So the Minister asked the congregation -

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms08.gif

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back,
Quickly raised her hand and said,

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms09.gif

"As long as you drink,
Smoke and eat chocolate,

You won't have worms!"
Click to expand...
LOL, Love Maxine and You Techie! :kiss:
 
techsan said:

Makes sense to me!!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms01.jpg

A minister decided that a visual demonstration
Would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms02.gif

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon,
The Minister reported the following results:

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms03.gif

The first worm in alcohol -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms04.jpg

The second worm in cigarette smoke -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms05.gif

Third worm in chocolate syrup -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms06.gif

Fourth worm in good clean soil -

Alive

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms07.gif

So the Minister asked the congregation -

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms08.gif

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back,
Quickly raised her hand and said,

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms09.gif

"As long as you drink,
Smoke and eat chocolate,

You won't have worms!"
Click to expand...
Lol!!
 
BREAKING NEWS

Cleveland (OH)---Cleveland Browns football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Romeo Crennel immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.
(Neither will the Detroit Lions!)
 
techsan said:

Makes sense to me!!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms01.jpg

A minister decided that a visual demonstration
Would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms02.gif

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon,
The Minister reported the following results:

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms03.gif

The first worm in alcohol -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms04.jpg

The second worm in cigarette smoke -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms05.gif

Third worm in chocolate syrup -

Dead

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms06.gif

Fourth worm in good clean soil -

Alive

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms07.gif

So the Minister asked the congregation -

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms08.gif

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back,
Quickly raised her hand and said,

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/U-Z/Worms09.gif

"As long as you drink,
Smoke and eat chocolate,

You won't have worms!"
Click to expand...



SPEW ALERT :D
 
Wife standing nude, looks
in the bedroom mirror
and says to her husband ,
"I look horrible,
I feel fat and ugly.
Pay me a compliment".
He replies, "Your eyesight's
damn near perfect".
He never heard the shot............
 
Two Women Talking In Heaven

1st Woman: Hi! My name is Maggie.

2nd Woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st Woman: I froze to death.

2nd Woman: How horrible!

1st Woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began
to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd Woman: I died of a massive heart attack I suspected my husband was
cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead I
found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st Woman: So what happened?

2nd Woman: I was so sure there was another woman somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and then down into the basement. I went through each closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and
finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack
and died.

1st Woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be
alive.
 
Daily Humor
October 13, 2006


In my job for an insurance company, I often use a microfiche machine to get data about our insureds. Once while I was looking something up, a customer's little girl wandered over to my desk. She stood there awhile, studying the names and numbers that flashed across my screen. "I can't tell," she finally said. "are you winning?"

- submitted to Reader's Digest by Darlene Quandt
 
This is an oldie, but a goodie!!!


An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extreme.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling , cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard. (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk , still staring down replied: : I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."
 
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