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From pleaz_me ...

You may be a redneck if ...

A little rain doesn't spoil the fishing.
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck01.jpg

You carry your front porch with you.
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck02.jpg

You need fashion tips from your husband.
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck03.jpg

Your mailbox looks like this ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck04.jpg

Your doghouse looks like this ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck05.jpg

Your pickup looks like this ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck06.jpg

You have a deer butt for a doorbell.
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck07.jpg

You don't need a lake for a little skiing.
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck08.jpg

Your wife is quoted in the local paper as saying ...
http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/Redneck09.jpg
 
manofsteel52 said:
LMFAO! :D

That's why I don't like goin' to WalMart... getting alldressed up... ;)
Click to expand...
Short skirt... high heels n everything... dayum they even make me do my make-up before they'll let me in! :D
 
pleaz_me said:
Cute one DGO! Now if I could only find me one of those floor tile guys :rolleyes: :p
Click to expand...

I heated my house with a wood stove as the primary heat source for 25 years. I found that wood ash spread on snow & ice made for really great traction. When I decided I wanted to be cremated, I told my wife to just save the ashes till winter. She could spread them on the driveway. That way she could walkon me one last time... :rolleyes: ;)
 
manofsteel52 said:

I heated my house with a wood stove as the primary heat source for 25 years. I found that wood ash spread on snow & ice made for really great traction. When I decided I wanted to be cremated, I told my wife to just save the ashes till winter. She could spread them on the driveway. That way she could walkon me one last time... :rolleyes: ;)
Click to expand...
Too cute!
 
manofsteel52 said:

I heated my house with a wood stove as the primary heat source for 25 years. I found that wood ash spread on snow & ice made for really great traction. When I decided I wanted to be cremated, I told my wife to just save the ashes till winter. She could spread them on the driveway. That way she could walkon me one last time... :rolleyes: ;)
Click to expand...
ROFL! Somehow I doubt she'll do that ;)
 
pleaz_me said:
ROFL! Somehow I doubt she'll do that ;)
Click to expand...
You're probably right.


she'll most likely put 'em in the trunk of the car, just in case she gets stuck... ;)
 
From pleaz_me ...

You may be a redneck if ...

A little rain doesn't spoil the fishing.
ROFLMAO!
 
pleaz_me said:
Wife standing nude, looks
in the bedroom mirror
and says to her husband ,
"I look horrible,
I feel fat and ugly.
Pay me a compliment".
He replies, "Your eyesight's
damn near perfect".
He never heard the shot............
Click to expand...
ROFLMAO! Much thanks for the others too!
 
A young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions."

The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions."

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She rereads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the blonde calls the pet store.

The man says, "I'll be right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there."

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Now listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
 
Daily Humor
October 14, 2006


In my work as a medical assistant for a pediatrician, I used to undress the children and weigh them before they were examined. One day a five-year-old boy came in with his mother. He had a death grip on her hand, but with her encouragement, I was able to coax his hand to mine and lead him into the examining room. "Now, let's take off our clothes," I said, "and see how much we weigh." The child promptly dropped his hand and stopped in his tracks. "You go ahead," he said. "I don't want to!"

- submitted to Reader's Digest by Estella H. Flach
 
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