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Laughter is Contagious

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wally2450 said:
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep
the balls out.
4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course
owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage
to the hole.
6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the
course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failure to do so may
result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon
arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to
admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or
are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset
course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own
protection.
10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly
scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first
time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover
someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily
under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this
situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when
this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush
around the hole to allow for improved viewing of> alignment with, and
approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before
attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to
proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners
request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the
same hole several times in one match.
Click to expand...

That is a great one wally! :D
 
Qualities

Each one of us is a mixture of good qualities and some
perhaps not so good qualities. In considering our
fellow man, we should remember his good qualities and
realize that his faults only prove that he is, after
all, a human being. We should refrain from making
harsh judgments of a person just because he happens to
be a dirty, rotten, no-good son-of-a-bitch."
 
Daily Humor
October 19, 2006


It was an unusually hectic evening at the emergency clinic where I work. The doctor on duty was being simultaneously bombarded with questions, given forms to fill out and sign, and even asked for his dinner order. I was in the next room, cleaning up a newly sutured wound, when I realized the doctor hadn't given instructions for a bandage. I poked my head out the door and asked, "What kind of dressing do you want on that?" "Ranch," he replied.

- submitted to Reader's Digest by Brenda Todd

http://deephousepage.com/smilies/biggrinangel.gif
 
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't
stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring.

He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend
you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear
just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or
ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have
to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm
Catholic!"

"OK" the Nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The Nun fulfills his
fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get
back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."
 
To all you contributors ...

ROTFLMAO!

These are all great contributions!
 
 
wally2450 said:
Each one of us is a mixture of good qualities and some
perhaps not so good qualities. In considering our
fellow man, we should remember his good qualities and
realize that his faults only prove that he is, after
all, a human being. We should refrain from making
harsh judgments of a person just because he happens to
be a dirty, rotten, no-good son-of-a-bitch."
Click to expand...


Good morning wally ~ Thanks for the laugh! :D
 
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}} ....

~ The Kitty Cat Prayer ~

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/prayingcat.jpg

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice, and sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, and someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright, for shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool and keep the secret feline rule
To NEVER tell a human that the world is really ruled by CATS!
 
techsan said:
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{kayte}}}}}}}}}} ....

~ The Kitty Cat Prayer ~

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/P-T/prayingcat.jpg

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice, and sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, and someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright, for shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool and keep the secret feline rule
To NEVER tell a human that the world is really ruled by CATS!
Click to expand...


{{{{{{{{{techsan}}}}}}}}}}} :kiss: This one is priceless!
 
A Very trying day.

An attorney got home late oneevening, after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, named Walter Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed.

As soon as he got through the door his wife started on about, "What time of night do you call this? Where have you been?" and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a very large whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by her predictable, sarcastic remarks.

While he was in the bath the phone rang, which the wife answered and was told that her husband's client, Walter Wright, had been granted his stay of execution after all. Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented a little and went upstairs to give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door she was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear view as he bent over naked drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

The attorney whirled around and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud, woman, don't you ever stop!?"
 
techsan said:
A Very trying day.

An attorney got home late oneevening, after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, named Walter Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last-minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed.

As soon as he got through the door his wife started on about, "What time of night do you call this? Where have you been?" and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a very large whisky and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by her predictable, sarcastic remarks.

While he was in the bath the phone rang, which the wife answered and was told that her husband's client, Walter Wright, had been granted his stay of execution after all. Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented a little and went upstairs to give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door she was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear view as he bent over naked drying his legs and feet.

"They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said.

The attorney whirled around and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud, woman, don't you ever stop!?"
Click to expand...


ROTFLMAO! You have found such grand ones! :D
 
I've taken the liberty of putting your name into the drawing for a Seven Night Cruise around the Bay of Islands, on the 'Gypsy Queen' Cruise Liner. All airfares, transfers, food and drinks inclusive; with dinner at the captain's table as his personal guest.
Good luck, I hope you win! Attached is a picture from the brochure below........





















http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i306/eraney01/F-J/FreeCruise.jpg

Nothing is too good for my friends........
 
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