SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Lit🌎World ©️ sunny 🌞 days 1 thread her thread
- Thread starter Fingerfuxs
- Start date
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
It is a cold, foggy night, and several passengers are in a bus, driving along little lanes through the countryside.
Suddenly, the bus swerves violently. The passengers are irritated. A young man who was woken up by the bus's swerving says: "What happened?"
"Mist," the bus driver says, dismissively.
The young man thinks that yes, it is harder to drive in fog, and falls back asleep thinking nothing of it.
Then, half an hour later, the bus swerves another time. The young man woke up again. "What was that?"
"Mist," the bus driver says.
"Well, be more careful." He falls asleep again.
Another half an hour later, there is a bang. The young man wakes up with a jerk. That stupid driver must've gone into a hedge or something. "What happened?"
"Got 'er."
Suddenly, the bus swerves violently. The passengers are irritated. A young man who was woken up by the bus's swerving says: "What happened?"
"Mist," the bus driver says, dismissively.
The young man thinks that yes, it is harder to drive in fog, and falls back asleep thinking nothing of it.
Then, half an hour later, the bus swerves another time. The young man woke up again. "What was that?"
"Mist," the bus driver says.
"Well, be more careful." He falls asleep again.
Another half an hour later, there is a bang. The young man wakes up with a jerk. That stupid driver must've gone into a hedge or something. "What happened?"
"Got 'er."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A man with a list of symptoms goes to the doctors office
A man shuffles into the doctors office, hunched over, wheezing, and clutching his stomach.
Man: “hi doc, I’ve been in constant pain.”
Doctor: “What’s the matter? Tell me the most prevalent symptoms.”
Thinking, the man slowly replies
Man: “ I have aches all over, I have a cough that sometimes has blood, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, but spend all day dry heaving, and I’ve lost about 80% of my vision”
The doctor nods understandingly as he reads over the patients info on his clipboard.
Doctor: “I see, that does sound concerning. I’m going to have you go back home, sit down with some chicken soup and you won’t need to come back here.”
Man: “That’s all I have to do?”
Man: “Thanks so much doc, out of curiosity what do I have?”
The doctor responds
Doctor: “no insurance”
A man shuffles into the doctors office, hunched over, wheezing, and clutching his stomach.
Man: “hi doc, I’ve been in constant pain.”
Doctor: “What’s the matter? Tell me the most prevalent symptoms.”
Thinking, the man slowly replies
Man: “ I have aches all over, I have a cough that sometimes has blood, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, but spend all day dry heaving, and I’ve lost about 80% of my vision”
The doctor nods understandingly as he reads over the patients info on his clipboard.
Doctor: “I see, that does sound concerning. I’m going to have you go back home, sit down with some chicken soup and you won’t need to come back here.”
Man: “That’s all I have to do?”
Man: “Thanks so much doc, out of curiosity what do I have?”
The doctor responds
Doctor: “no insurance”
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A military commander calls his soldiers and says: "the first one of you that gets rid of the mole in my garden will get a promotion!"
One of the soldiers goes in and catches it. "So now what do I do with it, sir?" Asks the soldier to the commander.
"Oh well..." said the commander, considering many options : "That mole made a hell of a mess in my garden... so please, punish it with the worst thing you can think of".
So the soldier goes in the back of the garden, and after a few hours comes back.
"So... what did you do to the mole?" Asked the commander.
"Ohoh! Commander!" The soldier laughed: "I did *the most horrible thing ever!* Try to take a guess!"
"Did you... cut it in pieces while it was still conscious?"
"Even worse!"
"Hmm... did you throw him to the rabid dogs?"
"Even worse!"
"Oh my god! What the hell did you do to that mole?!"
"I buried it alive!"
One of the soldiers goes in and catches it. "So now what do I do with it, sir?" Asks the soldier to the commander.
"Oh well..." said the commander, considering many options : "That mole made a hell of a mess in my garden... so please, punish it with the worst thing you can think of".
So the soldier goes in the back of the garden, and after a few hours comes back.
"So... what did you do to the mole?" Asked the commander.
"Ohoh! Commander!" The soldier laughed: "I did *the most horrible thing ever!* Try to take a guess!"
"Did you... cut it in pieces while it was still conscious?"
"Even worse!"
"Hmm... did you throw him to the rabid dogs?"
"Even worse!"
"Oh my god! What the hell did you do to that mole?!"
"I buried it alive!"
Last edited:
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A young man from the hills of Kentucky came home on leave from the military.
He knew his family would ask a million questions, so he managed to convince his sergeant to let him take home his weapon and a training grenade.
As he crested the hill, his cousins and siblings came pouring out to see him, but immediately saw his rifle and begged him to let them shoot it. So he taught them how it worked, and let them plink some targets.
As he watched them, he saw from the corner of his eye the youngest cousin rustling in his duffle bag. To his fear and chagrin , the little fella popped up with the training grenade and immediately pulled the pin.
He did the only thing he could think of - grabbed the grenade and threw it as far away as he could. It landed in an old abandoned outhouse and exploded, knocking a few boards off the walls and causing a lot of smoke.
As everyone stared in shock, a figure materialized in the smoke. Grandpa emerged from the outhouse, beard singed, flaming toilet paper trailing from one foot, and half a smoking newspaper in one hand.
"Boys," he coughed, "lemme tell ya summin. Don't ever light yer pipe 'n' pass gas at the same time!"
He knew his family would ask a million questions, so he managed to convince his sergeant to let him take home his weapon and a training grenade.
As he crested the hill, his cousins and siblings came pouring out to see him, but immediately saw his rifle and begged him to let them shoot it. So he taught them how it worked, and let them plink some targets.
As he watched them, he saw from the corner of his eye the youngest cousin rustling in his duffle bag. To his fear and chagrin , the little fella popped up with the training grenade and immediately pulled the pin.
He did the only thing he could think of - grabbed the grenade and threw it as far away as he could. It landed in an old abandoned outhouse and exploded, knocking a few boards off the walls and causing a lot of smoke.
As everyone stared in shock, a figure materialized in the smoke. Grandpa emerged from the outhouse, beard singed, flaming toilet paper trailing from one foot, and half a smoking newspaper in one hand.
"Boys," he coughed, "lemme tell ya summin. Don't ever light yer pipe 'n' pass gas at the same time!"
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A woman goes to her gynecologist.
“What seems to be the problem?” Asked the gyno.
“Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.”
The gynecologist has a look, chuckles and says,
“Those aren’t postage stamps my dear. They’re the stickers off the bananas.”
“What seems to be the problem?” Asked the gyno.
“Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.”
The gynecologist has a look, chuckles and says,
“Those aren’t postage stamps my dear. They’re the stickers off the bananas.”
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Jimmy goes to see a dominatrix that all his buddies keep recommending.
He nervously tells her, "All my friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic Vlasic Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything else. What is it exactly?"
She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you naked and tie you up. Then I'll bend you over my knees and spank you like a naughty child. Then I'm going to stick this entire pickle in your pickle hole. And finally, I'm going to give you the most amazing, toe cracking, rim job of you life."
Well, Jimmy isn't thrilled with the idea of getting tied up, spanked and sticking a pickle up his behind. But agrees to get a Classic Vlasic Ass-Lick, since all his buddies said it was incredible.
So she strips him down, ties him up, bends him over and starts spanking him with various toys. Jimmy is rather surprised how much he likes it, but still pretty nervous about the pickle insertion, so he asks her to please be gentle when she sticks it in his butt.
She tells him not to worry, grabs a large pickle and a paddle, and pounds it deep inside Jimmy's rear end, until the pickle disapears with a "pop!" Then proceeds to give him the most amazing, multiple orgasm inducing, rim job of his life.
When finished, Jimmy exclaims, "That was incredible! But how exactly do i get the pickle out now?"
"No idea." She says. "All my other clients just eat the pickle."
He nervously tells her, "All my friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic Vlasic Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything else. What is it exactly?"
She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you naked and tie you up. Then I'll bend you over my knees and spank you like a naughty child. Then I'm going to stick this entire pickle in your pickle hole. And finally, I'm going to give you the most amazing, toe cracking, rim job of you life."
Well, Jimmy isn't thrilled with the idea of getting tied up, spanked and sticking a pickle up his behind. But agrees to get a Classic Vlasic Ass-Lick, since all his buddies said it was incredible.
So she strips him down, ties him up, bends him over and starts spanking him with various toys. Jimmy is rather surprised how much he likes it, but still pretty nervous about the pickle insertion, so he asks her to please be gentle when she sticks it in his butt.
She tells him not to worry, grabs a large pickle and a paddle, and pounds it deep inside Jimmy's rear end, until the pickle disapears with a "pop!" Then proceeds to give him the most amazing, multiple orgasm inducing, rim job of his life.
When finished, Jimmy exclaims, "That was incredible! But how exactly do i get the pickle out now?"
"No idea." She says. "All my other clients just eat the pickle."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.
Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
“Do you realise what time it is?!?” she stammered.
He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.”
Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked “What did you buy for the house, dear?"
Tom answered “A round of drinks!"
Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
“Do you realise what time it is?!?” she stammered.
He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.”
Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked “What did you buy for the house, dear?"
Tom answered “A round of drinks!"
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
The wife comes home and has $5000 in cash.
When her husband asks, “Where did that come from?”
She replies, “I won it in a lottery!”
To which he replies, “That’s great! Let’s go celebrate.”
The next day she comes home with a full-length mink coat.
Again the husband asks, “Where did that come from?”
She says, “I couldn’t believe it! Another lottery ticket came through for me!!”
The next day she comes in, looking tired, wearing a two-carat diamond ring.
The husband says, “I know. You won the lottery.
Right?” She replies, “Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Honey, would you draw me a bath? Please?”
“Sure,” he answers. So, the guy goes in and starts drawing the bath water for his wife. After he gets a quarter inch of water in the bottom of the tub, he turns off the water. “Your tub is ready.” He calls to his wife.
She starts to get in the tub and looks at him, dismayed, and asks, “Why is there only a quarter inch of water in here?”
To which he loudly replies, “I wouldn’t want you to get your lottery ticket wet!”
When her husband asks, “Where did that come from?”
She replies, “I won it in a lottery!”
To which he replies, “That’s great! Let’s go celebrate.”
The next day she comes home with a full-length mink coat.
Again the husband asks, “Where did that come from?”
She says, “I couldn’t believe it! Another lottery ticket came through for me!!”
The next day she comes in, looking tired, wearing a two-carat diamond ring.
The husband says, “I know. You won the lottery.
Right?” She replies, “Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I did. Honey, would you draw me a bath? Please?”
“Sure,” he answers. So, the guy goes in and starts drawing the bath water for his wife. After he gets a quarter inch of water in the bottom of the tub, he turns off the water. “Your tub is ready.” He calls to his wife.
She starts to get in the tub and looks at him, dismayed, and asks, “Why is there only a quarter inch of water in here?”
To which he loudly replies, “I wouldn’t want you to get your lottery ticket wet!”
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A man's wife was heavily pregnant
and had started to get a lot of weird food cravings. One afternoon she said to her husband "I'm really peckish and would love some escargot.. Can you run down to the deli and pick up some snails for me"
The man dutifully agrees and walks down to the deli and gets a box of snails. On the way back home he passed his local bar. "I'll just stop in for a quick beer...she can wait a little bit"
He walks in and sees a few of his friends and sure enough one beer leads to many. After a few beers he thinks "oh shit, my wife, the snails"! And bolts out of the pub to get home.
As he's running up his front stairs he trips and the box of snails goes everywhere. Just then his angry wife opens the door and is staring. Thinking quickly he says "that's it guys not far now we are almost home"
and had started to get a lot of weird food cravings. One afternoon she said to her husband "I'm really peckish and would love some escargot.. Can you run down to the deli and pick up some snails for me"
The man dutifully agrees and walks down to the deli and gets a box of snails. On the way back home he passed his local bar. "I'll just stop in for a quick beer...she can wait a little bit"
He walks in and sees a few of his friends and sure enough one beer leads to many. After a few beers he thinks "oh shit, my wife, the snails"! And bolts out of the pub to get home.
As he's running up his front stairs he trips and the box of snails goes everywhere. Just then his angry wife opens the door and is staring. Thinking quickly he says "that's it guys not far now we are almost home"
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman says every so often when he's in the bathroom getting ready for bed she gets naked and lays on the bed holding her legs up in the air so when he comes out he can't help but have sex with her.
The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily. Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!"
The first woman decides to try this a couple of weeks later. Her husband is in the bathroom getting ready for bed so she gets naked, lays down and struggles to get one leg up and then the other as she's holding them shakily. Her husband comes out and exclaims, "Good Lord woman, put in your teeth and brush your hair....you're starting to look like an asshole!"
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Similar threads
