SunnyDays1
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Lit🌎World ©️ sunny 🌞 days 1 thread her thread
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SunnyDays1
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A man ordered for a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly without any error.
He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.
One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired.
The man agreed and said to the car...
Car, go and bring my children from school.
The car went and didn't return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.
Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.
He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station.
As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
The car parked right in front of them and said... "These are your children sir..!"
In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, his wife's best friend's daughter, his secretary's son and their neighbours two sons.
The Wife in full anger said
"Don't tell me all these are your children..??"
The man asked her calmly...
"First you tell me why our children are not in the car ??"
He got the car and started sending it on errands. He became very proud of what the car could do without mistakes.
One day, he was home and his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick the children from school as she was very tired.
The man agreed and said to the car...
Car, go and bring my children from school.
The car went and didn't return in time as expected, they knew something must be wrong.
Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive.
He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station.
As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with an overload of children.
The car parked right in front of them and said... "These are your children sir..!"
In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, his wife's best friend's daughter, his secretary's son and their neighbours two sons.
The Wife in full anger said
"Don't tell me all these are your children..??"
The man asked her calmly...
"First you tell me why our children are not in the car ??"
Last edited:
SunnyDays1
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A guy is talking to his coworker.
Guy: "Man, I got fired."
Coworker: "Oh no! What happened?"
Guy: "Boss told me that if I didn't fuck her right there in the office, I'd get fired."
Coworker: "Oh, and you said no?"
Guy: "No, I said yes!"
Coworker: "So why did you get fired?"
Guy: "Well, I asked her, and she said, 'Poor performance in the workplace'."
Guy: "Man, I got fired."
Coworker: "Oh no! What happened?"
Guy: "Boss told me that if I didn't fuck her right there in the office, I'd get fired."
Coworker: "Oh, and you said no?"
Guy: "No, I said yes!"
Coworker: "So why did you get fired?"
Guy: "Well, I asked her, and she said, 'Poor performance in the workplace'."
therwine40
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therwine40
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A man was driving down a remote road when his car broke down. There was no cell service so he walked to the nearest farm. He was approached by a farmer.
“How can I help you?” asked the farmer.
“Can I use a phone, my car broke down?”
“All the phones are down, I can drive you into town in the morning. You can stay here but you have to stay away from my daughters. I keep a loaded shotgun in case you get any ideas”
The man agreed. He went to bed and thought about how he was going to get home when he heard a squeak of the door. He saw a beautiful 22 year old woman standing at the door. Remembering what the farmer said, he quickly whispered, “You need to leave..” but she drew closer and said,
“Fuck me now, Fuck me hard or I will paint my pillow red and tell my father you popped my cherry.”
The man scared, decided to go for it and made quiet but intense love to her. Then she left. He fell asleep for 20 min and then the door opened again. This time it was a 18 year old beautiful angel. The man , freaked out says,
“I can’t , please”…. The girl says “Fuck me , fuck me hard. Fuck me or I will paint my pillow red and tell dad you popped my cherry.”
The guy sighed, he gives in and satisfies her fully. She is happy and leaves. The man is now exhausted, but the farmer knows nothing. He thinks he is in the clear and then the 13 year old girl comes in.
The guy shakes his head vigorously. The man says, “ this is crazy, no way !”
She says “Make love to me or I will paint pillow green and tell dad you poppe…”
He says, “No no, I won’t……wait, green? I thought cherries were red?”
“They are, but mine ain’t ripe yet.”
“How can I help you?” asked the farmer.
“Can I use a phone, my car broke down?”
“All the phones are down, I can drive you into town in the morning. You can stay here but you have to stay away from my daughters. I keep a loaded shotgun in case you get any ideas”
The man agreed. He went to bed and thought about how he was going to get home when he heard a squeak of the door. He saw a beautiful 22 year old woman standing at the door. Remembering what the farmer said, he quickly whispered, “You need to leave..” but she drew closer and said,
“Fuck me now, Fuck me hard or I will paint my pillow red and tell my father you popped my cherry.”
The man scared, decided to go for it and made quiet but intense love to her. Then she left. He fell asleep for 20 min and then the door opened again. This time it was a 18 year old beautiful angel. The man , freaked out says,
“I can’t , please”…. The girl says “Fuck me , fuck me hard. Fuck me or I will paint my pillow red and tell dad you popped my cherry.”
The guy sighed, he gives in and satisfies her fully. She is happy and leaves. The man is now exhausted, but the farmer knows nothing. He thinks he is in the clear and then the 13 year old girl comes in.
The guy shakes his head vigorously. The man says, “ this is crazy, no way !”
She says “Make love to me or I will paint pillow green and tell dad you poppe…”
He says, “No no, I won’t……wait, green? I thought cherries were red?”
“They are, but mine ain’t ripe yet.”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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There once were twin boys, age six, that had developed extreme personalities. One was a pessimist the other a total optimist. Concerned, their parents took them to a psychiatrist.
First, the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room filled with toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?”
“Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”
Next, the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist climbed to the top of the pile, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands.
“What are you doing?” the baffled psychiatrist asked.
The little boy replied, “With all this manure, there must be a pony in here somewhere!”
First, the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room filled with toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?”
“Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”
Next, the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist climbed to the top of the pile, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands.
“What are you doing?” the baffled psychiatrist asked.
The little boy replied, “With all this manure, there must be a pony in here somewhere!”
SunnyDays1
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A man, tired after a long days work, walks into a bar.
He doesn't see any menus, signage, or anything to indicate a price for the products behind the bar. So, he asks the bartender. "How much for a beer?"
The bartender looks to the ceiling for a moment, before replying. "One dollar and it comes with your choice of twelve top shelf bottles."
The man can't help but grin. "How much for a salad?"
"One dollar, comes with a selection of unopened vintage wines."
"How 'bout a couple fish tacos?"
"One dollar. Plus everything in the well."
"Oh, and an entire cheesecake for desert."
"Free. I just fucking hate cheesecake."
The man chuckles. "Wow, this place is awesome. I wish I could meet the owner."
The bartender grins as he pours the man's drink. "He's upstairs in his office with my girlfriend."
The main raises a inquisitive eyebrow. "What's he doing up there with her?"
After a moment, the bartender gestures to the collection of liquors he's placed in front of the man. "The same thing I'm doing with his business."
He doesn't see any menus, signage, or anything to indicate a price for the products behind the bar. So, he asks the bartender. "How much for a beer?"
The bartender looks to the ceiling for a moment, before replying. "One dollar and it comes with your choice of twelve top shelf bottles."
The man can't help but grin. "How much for a salad?"
"One dollar, comes with a selection of unopened vintage wines."
"How 'bout a couple fish tacos?"
"One dollar. Plus everything in the well."
"Oh, and an entire cheesecake for desert."
"Free. I just fucking hate cheesecake."
The man chuckles. "Wow, this place is awesome. I wish I could meet the owner."
The bartender grins as he pours the man's drink. "He's upstairs in his office with my girlfriend."
The main raises a inquisitive eyebrow. "What's he doing up there with her?"
After a moment, the bartender gestures to the collection of liquors he's placed in front of the man. "The same thing I'm doing with his business."
SunnyDays1
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While Michelangelo was painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel....
One day, he looked down from the scaffolding to see a solitary old woman kneeling in a pew, praying.
Since the woman could not see him, Michelangelo decided to have a little fun, and he called out, "I am Jesus Christ, hear me!"
The woman did not look up, and continued praying. So, Michelangelo said, even louder, "I am Jesus Christ, Son of God, obey me!"
Still the woman did not budge. So, Michelangelo shouted at the top of his lungs, "I am Jesus Christ, hear my word!"
The old woman finally turned to look up, and held up her rosary, saying, "Shut up! I'm talking to your mother!"
One day, he looked down from the scaffolding to see a solitary old woman kneeling in a pew, praying.
Since the woman could not see him, Michelangelo decided to have a little fun, and he called out, "I am Jesus Christ, hear me!"
The woman did not look up, and continued praying. So, Michelangelo said, even louder, "I am Jesus Christ, Son of God, obey me!"
Still the woman did not budge. So, Michelangelo shouted at the top of his lungs, "I am Jesus Christ, hear my word!"
The old woman finally turned to look up, and held up her rosary, saying, "Shut up! I'm talking to your mother!"
SunnyDays1
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Gaze Following Dragon
here is an interesting project to share with your little ones this weekend.....
how to make a gaze following dragon.....
simply download the pattern and assemble per instructions.
there is also a youtube link of the dragon in 'action'
click on the link for the details and instructions.
https://www.cutoutfoldup.com/1101-gaze-following-dragon.php
here is an interesting project to share with your little ones this weekend.....
how to make a gaze following dragon.....
simply download the pattern and assemble per instructions.
there is also a youtube link of the dragon in 'action'
click on the link for the details and instructions.
https://www.cutoutfoldup.com/1101-gaze-following-dragon.php
Last edited:
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A marksman walks into a weapons store, looking to buy a new scope for his sniper rifle. He tells the owner he wants the best one available.
The owner shows him a piece and says "this one has a reach of over 1 km. that's so far, you can see crystal clear my house on the hill from here."
The marksman grabs the scope and looks in the direction the shop owner was pointing, then he says "I'm impressed! I really can see your house from here! In fact, I even can tell that there are a man and a woman both naked on the balcony."
The shop owner, realizing what was going on, says "tell you what: you can keep this scope free of charge, if you shoot my wife in the head and that guy in the dick." As he says it, he hands over two bullets to the marksman.
The marksman replies, "I think I'll only need one, though."
The owner shows him a piece and says "this one has a reach of over 1 km. that's so far, you can see crystal clear my house on the hill from here."
The marksman grabs the scope and looks in the direction the shop owner was pointing, then he says "I'm impressed! I really can see your house from here! In fact, I even can tell that there are a man and a woman both naked on the balcony."
The shop owner, realizing what was going on, says "tell you what: you can keep this scope free of charge, if you shoot my wife in the head and that guy in the dick." As he says it, he hands over two bullets to the marksman.
The marksman replies, "I think I'll only need one, though."
SunnyDays1
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Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...
He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said, "You died in your sleep Ralph."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!
"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begs St Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. "So you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"
"Not bad,"replied Ralph the Hen, but I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm going to explode."
"You're ovulating, explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never,"said Ralph.
"Well just relax and let it happen," says the rooster". It's no big deal."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg – his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell......"RALPH WAKE UP. YOU SHIT THE BED!"
He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said, "You died in your sleep Ralph."
Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!
"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
Ralph was devastated, but begs St Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. "So you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?"
"Not bad,"replied Ralph the Hen, but I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm going to explode."
"You're ovulating, explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."
"Never,"said Ralph.
"Well just relax and let it happen," says the rooster". It's no big deal."
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg – his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell......"RALPH WAKE UP. YOU SHIT THE BED!"
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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Sam and Bessie have been married for 50 years and Sam always wanted an expensive pair of alligator boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys a pair and wears them home, asking Bessie, "So, do you notice anything different about me?"
"What's different? It's the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants. What's different?"
Frustrated, Sam goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only his new boots.
Again, he says, "Bessie, do you notice anything different about me now?"
"What's different, Sam? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and will be hanging down tomorrow."
Angrily, Sam yells, "DO YOU KNOW WHY ITS HANGING DOWN? Cause it's lookin' at my NEW BOOTS!"
Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat!"
"What's different? It's the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants. What's different?"
Frustrated, Sam goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only his new boots.
Again, he says, "Bessie, do you notice anything different about me now?"
"What's different, Sam? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and will be hanging down tomorrow."
Angrily, Sam yells, "DO YOU KNOW WHY ITS HANGING DOWN? Cause it's lookin' at my NEW BOOTS!"
Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat!"
SunnyDays1
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Little Billy comes home and asks his dad...
"Daddy, one of the boys at school called me a 'cunt'! What does that mean?"
His dad says, "wait until mommy goes to bed, and then I'll show you."
A few hours pass, and sure enough mom has gone to bed and fallen asleep. Billy's dad comes into his room and wakes him up. They go into the parents room, where dad pulls up the blanket to reveal the naked mom's nether parts. He points, and says "you see that hairy thing? That's the vagina, the person it's attached to is the cunt."
"Daddy, one of the boys at school called me a 'cunt'! What does that mean?"
His dad says, "wait until mommy goes to bed, and then I'll show you."
A few hours pass, and sure enough mom has gone to bed and fallen asleep. Billy's dad comes into his room and wakes him up. They go into the parents room, where dad pulls up the blanket to reveal the naked mom's nether parts. He points, and says "you see that hairy thing? That's the vagina, the person it's attached to is the cunt."
SunnyDays1
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks : "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says,
"Here, iron this!!"
She removes all her clothing and asks : "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says,
"Here, iron this!!"
SunnyDays1
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