SunnyDays1
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Lit🌎World ©️ sunny 🌞 days 1 thread her thread
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SunnyDays1
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Mr. Sullivan, the most arrogant man who could do no wrong, was on top of Mrs Sullivan, trying his best to please her. His butler was holding a dim lit lantern as the lights were out and the Sullivan's didn't like the darkness.
Somewhat tired, he asked mrs Sullivan "How good was it?"
"Felt nothing" she moaned.
Mr Sullivan started going harder trying to prove his masculinity.
After a little while, nearly out of breath, he asked again. "That must have felt really good, isn't it?"
"Didn't feel a thing" she yawned
Mr Sullivan's ego took big lashings. He went for it again with all his might with one life goal, to please Mrs Sullivan!
After 10 mins of non-stop hard humping, Mr Sullivan had nothing left in him and with big glimmering hope lifted his head up to look at her pleased face, instead found her starting to doze off.
With his self respect and who blown into pieces, Mr Sullivan got up, grabbed the lantern from his butler and ordered him to have a go at screwing Mrs Sullivan.
The butler undressed and inserted his big shaft into Mrs Sullivan, she moaned with pleasure. As he was going deeper she was in heaven.
He stroked in and out of her for about half an hour, with her in ecstasy for the whole period screaming in pleasure and orgasmed innumerable times.
When he finished the deed. Mr Sullivan asked her how it went.
"Incredible! I had infinite orgasms. The best sex of my life!!"
Mr Sullivan turns to the butler swings him a hardest ear deafening slap.
The butler falls down and holding his blood red throbbing cheek and inquisitively looks at his master...
""THIS......, you fucking moron, This is HOW you hold the damn lantern!!", frowned Mr Sullivan!!
Somewhat tired, he asked mrs Sullivan "How good was it?"
"Felt nothing" she moaned.
Mr Sullivan started going harder trying to prove his masculinity.
After a little while, nearly out of breath, he asked again. "That must have felt really good, isn't it?"
"Didn't feel a thing" she yawned
Mr Sullivan's ego took big lashings. He went for it again with all his might with one life goal, to please Mrs Sullivan!
After 10 mins of non-stop hard humping, Mr Sullivan had nothing left in him and with big glimmering hope lifted his head up to look at her pleased face, instead found her starting to doze off.
With his self respect and who blown into pieces, Mr Sullivan got up, grabbed the lantern from his butler and ordered him to have a go at screwing Mrs Sullivan.
The butler undressed and inserted his big shaft into Mrs Sullivan, she moaned with pleasure. As he was going deeper she was in heaven.
He stroked in and out of her for about half an hour, with her in ecstasy for the whole period screaming in pleasure and orgasmed innumerable times.
When he finished the deed. Mr Sullivan asked her how it went.
"Incredible! I had infinite orgasms. The best sex of my life!!"
Mr Sullivan turns to the butler swings him a hardest ear deafening slap.
The butler falls down and holding his blood red throbbing cheek and inquisitively looks at his master...
""THIS......, you fucking moron, This is HOW you hold the damn lantern!!", frowned Mr Sullivan!!
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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Pirate pick-up lines
“I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ yer chest.”
“Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.”
“See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.”
“Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin’?”
“Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.”
“I’ve hidden booty all over the Caribbean — but never have I seen one like yours!”
“That’s NOT my parrot talking, Sweetie!”
“That’s a lovely pair of 8-pounders you have there.”
“My peg-leg’s ribbed for your pleasure.”
“Why not climb my main mast and I’ll visit your crow’s nest.”
“I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ yer chest.”
“Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.”
“See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.”
“Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin’?”
“Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.”
“I’ve hidden booty all over the Caribbean — but never have I seen one like yours!”
“That’s NOT my parrot talking, Sweetie!”
“That’s a lovely pair of 8-pounders you have there.”
“My peg-leg’s ribbed for your pleasure.”
“Why not climb my main mast and I’ll visit your crow’s nest.”
SunnyDays1
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There once lived the most beautiful woman any man had ever seen. Unfortunately, a jealous old witch put a spell on the woman:
For the rest of her life, a tiny gremlin would live inside her vagina, and bite the dick off of any man who tried to lay with her.
Several suitors had tried and failed, always losing their precious member to the gremlin.
Finally one day a cunning young man decided to give it a go. Word having spread quickly, many people gathered outside the maiden’s chambers, waiting for the inevitable.
After just a few minutes the crowd heard shrieks emanating from the house. Screams and yelling quickly gave way to silence.
Then after another few minutes the crowd heard more moaning and screaming. However, these were clearly ones of pleasure; nothing like the sounds that had come before. Soon, the man and the woman emerged from the house, the woman under the man’s arm, their hair and clothes disheveled, each smiling from ear to ear.
The crowd looked on in amazement, the man having clearly satisfied the woman. Finally one of the onlookers asked the man how he did it.
The man brought his other arm from around his back, and raised his hand up in front of him. Bloodied and missing three fingers, the man exclaimed, “I caught the little fucker!”
For the rest of her life, a tiny gremlin would live inside her vagina, and bite the dick off of any man who tried to lay with her.
Several suitors had tried and failed, always losing their precious member to the gremlin.
Finally one day a cunning young man decided to give it a go. Word having spread quickly, many people gathered outside the maiden’s chambers, waiting for the inevitable.
After just a few minutes the crowd heard shrieks emanating from the house. Screams and yelling quickly gave way to silence.
Then after another few minutes the crowd heard more moaning and screaming. However, these were clearly ones of pleasure; nothing like the sounds that had come before. Soon, the man and the woman emerged from the house, the woman under the man’s arm, their hair and clothes disheveled, each smiling from ear to ear.
The crowd looked on in amazement, the man having clearly satisfied the woman. Finally one of the onlookers asked the man how he did it.
The man brought his other arm from around his back, and raised his hand up in front of him. Bloodied and missing three fingers, the man exclaimed, “I caught the little fucker!”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine.
It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away, so he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and voila, everything else was automatic!!
He really had a good time because the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off.
He read the manual but did not find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument. Some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or softer, but still without success.
Panicking, he called the supplier’s Customer Service Hot Line.
“Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It’s fantastic. But how can I take it off the cow’s udder?”
Customer Service replied, “Don’t worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about two gallons of milk.”
It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away, so he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on and voila, everything else was automatic!!
He really had a good time because the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. When the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off.
He read the manual but did not find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument. Some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or softer, but still without success.
Panicking, he called the supplier’s Customer Service Hot Line.
“Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It’s fantastic. But how can I take it off the cow’s udder?”
Customer Service replied, “Don’t worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about two gallons of milk.”
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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The husband was filled with pleasure.......with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth....in and out....in and out.
It was going on 20 minutes at this point.....
Her heart was pounding.....her face was flushed......then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted:
"OK, OK! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!"
It was going on 20 minutes at this point.....
Her heart was pounding.....her face was flushed......then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted:
"OK, OK! I can't park the damn car! You do it, you smug bastard!"
SunnyDays1
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A 70 year old couple had been dating for a couple of months...
After a night of dinner and a movie they went back to the lady’s house and things started escalating from there. As they were making out and getting friskier by the moment the lady said to the man that it’d been a very long time since a man has pleasured her orally.
Wanting to please her, the man made his way down to her now waiting vagina. When he got down there he said “boy it sure does stink down here!” and she replied “it’s my arthritis”.
He said “arthritis?? How does that make you stink so bad??”
To that she said “it’s in my shoulders and I can’t wipe my ass.”
After a night of dinner and a movie they went back to the lady’s house and things started escalating from there. As they were making out and getting friskier by the moment the lady said to the man that it’d been a very long time since a man has pleasured her orally.
Wanting to please her, the man made his way down to her now waiting vagina. When he got down there he said “boy it sure does stink down here!” and she replied “it’s my arthritis”.
He said “arthritis?? How does that make you stink so bad??”
To that she said “it’s in my shoulders and I can’t wipe my ass.”
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At the movie theater a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was playing with herself furiously.
He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She agreed, and the man started fingering her like crazy.
When he became tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands.
"Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly.
"You were great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!"
He moved to the next seat to her and offered his help. She agreed, and the man started fingering her like crazy.
When he became tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands.
"Wasn't I good enough?" he asked sheepishly.
"You were great," she said, "but these crabs are still itching!"
SunnyDays1
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Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."
He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either."
He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."
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The man started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
“Why are you stopping?” she whispered.
He whispered back, “I found the remote.”
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
“Why are you stopping?” she whispered.
He whispered back, “I found the remote.”
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Man walks by a monastry and sees a sign on the door..
"Get screwed by nuns"
The man thinks to himself "whoa I gotta try this" and goes in. Right after the door is a tiny room with another door and an old nun at a desk.
"Well that's not what I expected" said the man.
"Oh no, I'm just the receptionist" replied the old nun. "It's 150 bucks please"
The man is hesitant, but decides to pay.
"Thank you," said the nun. "It's through that door"
The man goes through the door and goes left, left again, right, left, right, forward, right and comes to another door.
He gets real excited and goes through the door, which slams shut.
He is outside again.
In front of him is a sign that says:
"You just got screwed by the nuns"
"Get screwed by nuns"
The man thinks to himself "whoa I gotta try this" and goes in. Right after the door is a tiny room with another door and an old nun at a desk.
"Well that's not what I expected" said the man.
"Oh no, I'm just the receptionist" replied the old nun. "It's 150 bucks please"
The man is hesitant, but decides to pay.
"Thank you," said the nun. "It's through that door"
The man goes through the door and goes left, left again, right, left, right, forward, right and comes to another door.
He gets real excited and goes through the door, which slams shut.
He is outside again.
In front of him is a sign that says:
"You just got screwed by the nuns"
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A man goes to see a sex therapist
"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"
"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.
The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.
"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."
"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"
"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.
The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.
"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."
SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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SunnyDays1
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A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
“Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
“Maybe," says the wizard, "Can you remember the exact words of the curse?"
The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
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