SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Lit🌎World ©️ sunny 🌞 days 1 thread her thread
- Thread starter Fingerfuxs
- Start date
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A man goes to a party dressed in nothing but his pants.
A man goes to a costume party dressed in nothing but his pants.
Another guy walks up and asks, "What are you supposed to be?"
The man responds with, "Well, I'm Premature Ejaculation"
The guy then asks, "And... how is that?"
The man replies, "Well, I just came in my pants."
A man goes to a costume party dressed in nothing but his pants.
Another guy walks up and asks, "What are you supposed to be?"
The man responds with, "Well, I'm Premature Ejaculation"
The guy then asks, "And... how is that?"
The man replies, "Well, I just came in my pants."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A guy unfortunately becomes a widower, wants to put an obituary in the local paper...
.... He rings them up, asks how much it costs.
"One dollar per word", says the clerk.
"Ok, here's the message: "Martha dead."
The clerk pauses and replies:
"You know, people normally say a bit more. If it's the price, you know , we have a special on now, pay for 3, get 3 free."
"Ok, let's do that. Here goes:" says the guy, "Martha dead. For Sale Honda Civic."
.... He rings them up, asks how much it costs.
"One dollar per word", says the clerk.
"Ok, here's the message: "Martha dead."
The clerk pauses and replies:
"You know, people normally say a bit more. If it's the price, you know , we have a special on now, pay for 3, get 3 free."
"Ok, let's do that. Here goes:" says the guy, "Martha dead. For Sale Honda Civic."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
What's the difference between a man and a child?
The child can be left alone with the babysitter.
The child can be left alone with the babysitter.
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
An artist and his wife have been having sex daily for almost two months.
While highly unusual, he doesn't question it for fear of pressing his luck. One day, his wife approaches him.
"Honey? Can you draw a picture for me?"
"Sure babe, what would you like?" he replies.
"I want to see how you think our baby will look."
The husband stares at her, his eyes wide. Then, sighing heavily, he grabs a pencil and pad and quickly sketches out a picture.
He turns the paper towards her to show a picture of a man with a gun, firing a round at another man, who has no visible wounds.
"What the hell is this?!" she gasps. "I told you to imagine what our *baby* would look like!"
"Well, yeah," he replies, "but since I got a vasectomy five years ago, I drew a blank."
While highly unusual, he doesn't question it for fear of pressing his luck. One day, his wife approaches him.
"Honey? Can you draw a picture for me?"
"Sure babe, what would you like?" he replies.
"I want to see how you think our baby will look."
The husband stares at her, his eyes wide. Then, sighing heavily, he grabs a pencil and pad and quickly sketches out a picture.
He turns the paper towards her to show a picture of a man with a gun, firing a round at another man, who has no visible wounds.
"What the hell is this?!" she gasps. "I told you to imagine what our *baby* would look like!"
"Well, yeah," he replies, "but since I got a vasectomy five years ago, I drew a blank."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A girl and guy are laying in bed after sex
She turns to him and says,
"Babe I need to tell you something, I used to be a Christian."
He said:
"That doesn't bother me any!"
She responded:
"That's a relief, I much prefer being a Christine."
She turns to him and says,
"Babe I need to tell you something, I used to be a Christian."
He said:
"That doesn't bother me any!"
She responded:
"That's a relief, I much prefer being a Christine."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
In a small village church, the priest found a crying young woman...
She is sitting there alone all teary and sobbing. So the priest sits next to her and asks her what makes her so unhappy. The young woman replies: "I got married two years ago. I have been trying to conceive an offspring with my husband since, no success so far, though."
"Do not worry," the priest replies, "I will traveling to Vatican tomorrow. I will bring many intentions to pray for with me, I will visit all the churches there. I will light one candle for you and one for your husband."
Several years later, the same priest meets the same woman on the street in the willage. She is all tired and exhausted. Two children are running and jumping around her, she is holding the third one on her arms. In addition, the priest notices that she is pregnant. So he stops her asking how is her life going. She says: "Well, I am all tired and exhausted taking care of all these children. Suffering from heavy morning sickness, all day just cooking, cleaning and washing the laundry."
"I see," the priest replied, "so what is your husband doing?"
"Well, he has spent last three weeks in Vatican looking for your fucking candles to blow them down!"
She is sitting there alone all teary and sobbing. So the priest sits next to her and asks her what makes her so unhappy. The young woman replies: "I got married two years ago. I have been trying to conceive an offspring with my husband since, no success so far, though."
"Do not worry," the priest replies, "I will traveling to Vatican tomorrow. I will bring many intentions to pray for with me, I will visit all the churches there. I will light one candle for you and one for your husband."
Several years later, the same priest meets the same woman on the street in the willage. She is all tired and exhausted. Two children are running and jumping around her, she is holding the third one on her arms. In addition, the priest notices that she is pregnant. So he stops her asking how is her life going. She says: "Well, I am all tired and exhausted taking care of all these children. Suffering from heavy morning sickness, all day just cooking, cleaning and washing the laundry."
"I see," the priest replied, "so what is your husband doing?"
"Well, he has spent last three weeks in Vatican looking for your fucking candles to blow them down!"
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Shortly after having her ninth baby, an Irish Catholic woman runs into her parish priest.
He congratulates her on the new offspring and says, "Nine children is certainly a full house."
"Well," she replies, "I don't know how I get pregnant so often. It must be something in the air."
"Yes," says the priest, "your legs."
He congratulates her on the new offspring and says, "Nine children is certainly a full house."
"Well," she replies, "I don't know how I get pregnant so often. It must be something in the air."
"Yes," says the priest, "your legs."
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
A TV repair man goes on a call to fix a TV.
When he arrives, he notes the make and model of the TV. He walks off to the side and smacks the TV. Instantly the TV starts to work again, the picture is better than ever. He then walks back to the dumbfound customer and hands him a bill for $200.
The customer balks at the bill. "$200?! There's no way I'm paying you unless you can justify a $200 bill just for smacking the TV." The the repairman takes back the bill and re-writes it.
Services Rendered:
* Smacking the TV - $0.00
* Knowing where to smack - $200.00
When he arrives, he notes the make and model of the TV. He walks off to the side and smacks the TV. Instantly the TV starts to work again, the picture is better than ever. He then walks back to the dumbfound customer and hands him a bill for $200.
The customer balks at the bill. "$200?! There's no way I'm paying you unless you can justify a $200 bill just for smacking the TV." The the repairman takes back the bill and re-writes it.
Services Rendered:
* Smacking the TV - $0.00
* Knowing where to smack - $200.00
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside on a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the bull auction. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off. “A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.”
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, “See! That’s more than five times a month!”
The second bull is to be sold. “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.”
Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s about 10 times a month. What do you say to that?”
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale. “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!”
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, “That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about you?”
The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, “Sure, once a day! Great! But you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!”
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, “See! That’s more than five times a month!”
The second bull is to be sold. “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.”
Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s about 10 times a month. What do you say to that?”
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale. “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!”
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, “That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about you?”
The husband was pretty irritated by now and yells back, “Sure, once a day! Great! But you ask the auctioneer if they were all with the same cow!”
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
SunnyDays1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2020
- Posts
- 6,396
Similar threads
