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Blonde Research Study


An American research firm is tasked with conducting a study to determine if blonde women truly are less intelligent than everyone else. To do this, they host a convention for blonde women at an airport Hilton. At the orientation meeting, the chief researcher greets the crowd in a large banquet room. "Thank you all so very much for coming", the researcher remarks. "We'll have a number of seminars and activities in which you will all participate this weekend, but to get things started, I'd like to select one of you to come up on stage and answer a few math questions as a bit of an icebreaker".

A voluptuous young blonde woman is selected to come on stage, and so begins the researcher's questions. "What is 30 + 40?", asks the researcher. "Ummmmm....80?", responds the blonde. Upon hearing the answer, the crowd shouts "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE".

The researcher, playing along, replies "Alright alright. What is 15 + 15?". The blonde, a bit hesitant now to embarrass herself again, replies, albeit a bit apprehensively "Uhhhhhh...40??". The crowd, eager to support this poor woman, shouts once again "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE".

The researcher, now chuckling at the apparent ineptitude of the woman onstage with him, replies "Ok ok ok one last shot. What is 2 + 2?". The woman's demeanor immediately picks up, as she's certain she knows the answer this time. Confidently, she responds "Four!". Immediately, the crowd again shouts "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE".
 
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute-glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
''Miss Beatrice'', he said, ''I wonder if you would tell me about this?'' pointing to the bowl..

''Oh, yes,'' she replied, ''Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"
 
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A study conducted in the United States showed that:

1. The popular sport of the urban population is basketball

2. Favourite sport of maintenance people is bowling

3. The favourite sport of the average staff is football

4. The favourite sport of senior staff is baseball

5. The favourite sport of directors is tennis

6. The favourite sport of business owners is golf.



In conclusion - the higher your position, the smaller the balls!
 
A man was walking down the street around 3am, obviously drunk, missing a shoe and weaving to and fro, when a policeman spotted him and stopped his police car along the curb nearby.

"Good evening sir, would you mind stepping over here for a moment, please?" the policeman asked.

Haltingly, the man came over to the police car. "Gooodsh evening occifer, whass the trouble?"

"Well," the officer began, "it seems you're not quite in any condition to be walking along in this area this late at night. Are you heading anywhere in particular?"

"Why yesshh," the man replied, "I'm on my way to attend a lecshture in a few minutes about the evilsh of drinking, gambling, drinking and gambling, and staying up all hoursh of the night."

Intrigued, the police officer asked, "You mean you're heading to attend that lecture right now?"
The man nodded.
"And it's being given at this late hour, and you're going in that condition?"
The man nodded again.

Disbelieving now, the policeman asked "Who is going to be awake at this late hour and willing to give you such a lecture after seeing you in that condition?"

"My wife."
 
The kid runs up to a policeman.

"Officer!" yells the kid, "My father is in a fight with another man!"

The officer says "Calm down kid, where is he?"

"He's right around the corner!" exclaims the kid.

The cop follows him around the corner, and sure enough, there's two men going at it as hard as they can.

"Which one is your father?" asks the cop

"I don't know!" cries the kid. "That's what they're fighting about!"
 
Jim, who was late to everything, was drafted. Sure enough, in boot camp, he was last in line to get a rifle.

When it was his turn, the quartermaster said, “I’m sorry but we’re all out of rifles.” Jim said, “How can I do the drills then?” The quartermaster replied, “Take this stick and when it’s time to shoot, yell ‘Bangety Bang Bang!’ Go get a bayonet on it and maybe it’ll look better.” But, again, Jim was last in line. The quartermaster tells Jim, “I’m sorry but now we’re all out of bayonets. Tie this banana on the end of your stick and when you’re doing drills, yell “Stabety Stab Stab!’”

It goes well, but after just a couple weeks of training Jim finds himself in the actual war! He’s on the front lines, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. But then an enemy soldier jumps out in front of him, and his training takes over. He points his stick and yells, “Bangety Bang Bang!” The soldier falls down dead. Another rushes him from the back. Jim twists around and yells’ “Stabety Stab Stab!” and that soldier also falls down dead. “Maybe that quartermaster was a wizard “, Jim thinks as he takes down enemy soldiers right and left. “Bangety Bang Bang”! “Stabety Stab Stab!”

But then a very burly soldier steps in front of Jim. “Bangety Bang Bang!”, he yells. Nothing happens. The soldier keeps coming. “Stabety Stab Stab!”, he tries. Again the soldier keeps coming. “Bangety Bang Bang!” Stabety Stab Stab! Bangety Bang Bang!” Stabety Stab Stab!” Nothing fazes the soldier as he slooooowly pushes Jim over, and tramples him to death. The enemy soldier looking down at Jim says in a very, very deep voice, “Tankety Tank Tank”.
 
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question: "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said "I think it's your hands.” "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.” “What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said "Sister, I think it's your feet.” The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Now Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?" Little Johnny said "Well, I walked into mommy and daddy’s bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying ‘Oh God, I'm coming.’ I gotta tell you, if dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her!"
 
hello all, especially my dear friend and creator of this thread Fingerfuxs.

this shall be my last post.......it's been fun., but, life goes on.....

I'll miss most of you guys here, and you know who you are. 🤗

Good Bye.
 
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A lady approaches a priest and shyly tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots but, they only know how to say one thing... they keep saying 'Hi, we’re hot... do you want to *fuck us*?'"


"That's terrible!" says the priest. "But, I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house tomorrow. I will put them with my two male talking parrots... to whom I've taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible filth, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship the good Lord."

So the next day, the lady brings her two female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want to fuck us?” One of the male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "put the bible away you idiot, our prayers have been answered!"
 
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife..

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's pouring with rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
"God loves drunk people too you know."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..
 
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