My Transgender Awakening

[HoleInMyHead]

That's how we are all, to different degrees. True love is finding someone who really understands your insecurities, and looks beyond them, and sees the you that you wish to be. Unfortunately, that ain't easy to find. Keep trying though. If you are going the route of men... Well I am sure that you have figured this out, but we are all, to one degree of another, immature little boys, who have learned to pass as adults.

 

[Gi_Venus]

That's how we are all, to different degrees. True love is finding someone who really understands your insecurities, and looks beyond them, and sees the you that you wish to be. Unfortunately, that ain't easy to find. Keep trying though. If you are going the route of men... Well I am sure that you have figured this out, but we are all, to one degree of another, immature little boys, who have learned to pass as adults.

Lol yes, I have figured that out. What I am finding is that the men I am attracted to have female personality traits in them. I am pretty sure I am a lesbian at this point. no wonder I get along with my sisters so well.

 

[HoleInMyHead]

lol... That is understandable. There are three men in this world, out of every man I have ever met, that I understand, and only one who is somewhat like me; my father. (Not counting gay friends.) That is probably why all my friends are women.

If you want something to make you feel better, I would recommend seeing The Tale Of Despereaux. I know it is a kid's movie, but trust me. It is my new movie for when I need something to remind me that I am still alive, and that I need to remember to be strong and be myself. It is also a good pick me up.

 

[Gi_Venus]

lol... That is understandable. There are three men in this world, out of every man I have ever met, that I understand, and only one who is somewhat like me; my father. (Not counting gay friends.) That is probably why all my friends are women.

If you want something to make you feel better, I would recommend seeing The Tale Of Despereaux. I know it is a kid's movie, but trust me. It is my new movie for when I need something to remind me that I am still alive, and that I need to remember to be strong and be myself. It is also a good pick me up.

Thank you I will look for it I did have a nice online visit with the man that I had a date with. He was busy with life and got a little neglectful. But I had such a nice visit with him, he melted me again. *sigh* He has such a good sense of humor we banter back and forth, it allows the mystery of the dance of intimacy to be sooo delightful. I confess I did a little bit of a striptease for him one night. An example of his humor is his comment as I revealed my breasts. "Oh!" he says, " you have freckles!" Then as if an after thought he adds. "Nice boobies!" I have stayed covered since that time but there is attraction between us. He does not want to put pressure on me nor I on him so we are pretty relaxed with each other. We just live too damn far away from each other but within driving distance. *sigh*

 

[HoleInMyHead]

Well taking your time is good. If something comes of it, then the distance will work itself out in the end. I confess, I am surprised. I, as a guy, would NOT have noticed the freckles first. Breasts are the first thing I usually notice.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Well taking your time is good. If something comes of it, then the distance will work itself out in the end. I confess, I am surprised. I, as a guy, would NOT have noticed the freckles first. Breasts are the first thing I usually notice.

lol Oh he did, he was pulling my chain the imp. Usually us trans-girls are pretty insecure about our appearance and he knows this, he knows that I know hence we play with the nuances of the situation. One of the things he does not do is act creepy, a lot of men say or do inappropriate things. We have been joking about it. He noses right up to the line but never steps over it. He claims to aspire to being a creep so that he can really push my buttons.
And so any references to sex or desire are always implied but in a vague way and always with good timing. *giggle* I am afraid that if we get fully involved we will disappoint each other or..................

You know I really think too much. lol

 

[HoleInMyHead]

Yes, stop thinking... There was a time in college that I took a girl on one date. I was a virgin, and scared. We made out in the back seat of her car, but did not go all the way. We had a wonderful time, and said a lot of things about wanting to date and to be boy friend and girl friend. She was about six years older than I was, but did not care.

Our dorm did not let guys onto girl hallways. I went home for 1 day. The next day, I sent a note down to as her to come out and sit with me. She never answered. I sent about five notes, and the last were even more desperate and needy. She never answered. It turned out she was in her bed, with a broken leg, and had been writing a reply, when the notes kept coming. The last few told her I was really not as mature as she was, and kind of needy. That was a hard lesson for me, but a good one.

It seems cruel, but the more we grasp at this sort of thing, the more it slips away. When you let it happen, or not, things go better.

Hey, I am sorry. I realize that I sound like I am in lecture mode. I have only had three girlfriends my whole life, that lasted more than a few days. (6 months, 2 years, 10 years- current/married) That does not qualify me to give advice.

I am headed to bed in a few minutes. Take care of yourself.

 

[HoleInMyHead]

Oh and don't worry about performance. Guys are easy. If we cum, it was a success, and it is an easy success to achieve. The other way around is the problem.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Yes, stop thinking... There was a time in college that I took a girl on one date. I was a virgin, and scared. We made out in the back seat of her car, but did not go all the way. We had a wonderful time, and said a lot of things about wanting to date and to be boy friend and girl friend. She was about six years older than I was, but did not care.

Our dorm did not let guys onto girl hallways. I went home for 1 day. The next day, I sent a note down to as her to come out and sit with me. She never answered. I sent about five notes, and the last were even more desperate and needy. She never answered. It turned out she was in her bed, with a broken leg, and had been writing a reply, when the notes kept coming. The last few told her I was really not as mature as she was, and kind of needy. That was a hard lesson for me, but a good one.

It seems cruel, but the more we grasp at this sort of thing, the more it slips away. When you let it happen, or not, things go better.

Hey, I am sorry. I realize that I sound like I am in lecture mode. I have only had three girlfriends my whole life, that lasted more than a few days. (6 months, 2 years, 10 years- current/married) That does not qualify me to give advice.

I am headed to bed in a few minutes. Take care of yourself.

Who am I to judge? Lol I try to fix everyone. I have done similar things where I was impatient instead of letting things be. Most of the time I kept it to myself thank god. Goodnight

 

[HoleInMyHead]

Ya, I realized I should keep it to myself, but that is hard. I tend to want to 'fix' things for folks too. Good night.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Ya, I realized I should keep it to myself, but that is hard. I tend to want to 'fix' things for folks too. Good night.

Don't you dare keep it to yourself

 

[Gi_Venus]

I posted this on My More than a blurt thread. I realize afterward I should have posted it here.

"Exiting a few days of hurt in remembrance of those that I am leaving.
acceptance of the limitations of change in the mere fact of being Gianna.
Why do those of my past not see the positive context of me finding me?
Mixed in my sorrow is joy, when someone sees you when you are being you and says "You are beautiful!" And when I am being me being recognized as a woman. "You are very feminine!" from a male friend. Lol, the only difference in me is the expression of my openness as a person and the freedom to express my affections and heart to the world that was not an option as a male. Another joy is just the reaction of women when I meet them and see them now, there is more openness in their reaction, the caution that I experienced as a male is gone. It is the lack of attention as I walk through a store is remarkable. I am not certain many women realize how ingrained this caution is from dealing with overly aggressive males. But I have experienced it in the past and now do not from women. Perhaps it is me. lol Perhaps people sense a genuineness in my intent or sense my goodwill towards the world. Perhaps as a male, I had intensity in dissonance of the body/mind discord. Regardless, I am happy as me and the world accepts the real me better than the old not me. lol"

 

[Gi_Venus]

this I posted on My More than a blurt Page. I thought I would put a copy of it here.

My reality is one of insecurity, my world has evolved to one of giving up all of who I was, not just in a gender sense but almost the primordial self. With my body mind dissonance I created a character to deal with the world for I was not allowed to be me. I hid from me so that even the most fundamental qualities of myself are manufactured. Any self honesty was squelched by the pain which manifested itself. Through the years I played tag with myself, in my teens I used distraction and intoxicants to hide. One powerful moment was holding my nephew in my lap and having the strong thought of wishing I could breast feed him, such an act would have seemed so right. Being in denial about myself brought about a cacophony of self loathing. Men do not think this way! And through the years so I lived with occasional reminders in the wayward inward thoughts that thrust their way into my consciousness. Quickly I would thrust them back into the darkness.
Lost, I focused on the outside world, in the distractions I found, for a period
I painted. I became obsessed with the female form. In retrospect it makes sense that I was painting with a sense of longing in the form I felt right for myself. Always I sought a closer connection with people. This made me strange to people for males typically do not indulge in this kind of behavior.
Generally those that were my friends drifted away. Leaving me more and more to my thoughts. This pattern would have gone on had not I met a woman that would lead me to a state of introspection that left no doubt to me as to who I was.

I met her on an internet site. Her name was G________, people called her Gigi for short. Gigi invoked things within me that were alien to me. I did not realize that I had the capacity of behavior or thought that she provoked in me. I will not divulge our strange relationship, and it was strange even in the unconventional sense. Our affair was short, but in the aftermath it left me in an honest introspective state. In those moments I realized that I was a woman. All the repressed thoughts from the years of running came pouring into my head.

So now I am involved in the process of purification, that of casting the ugly maleness from my body and mind. Ironically because I have the brain physiology of a woman I have only to just be. It really is as simple as that.
But the years of defilement in acting contrary to myself have ingrained their habit. My reality is one of hope, despair, beauty and self loathing.

First of all, my own view of self is one of horror. I am too old to be beautiful in a physical sense. Recognition of the horror of my denial of self
Leaves me prone to despair. Fear is rife within me, haunting me with shadows of inadequacy, bound as if with shackles the mind is a poignant thing. The very same organ can cast the light of a rainbow or defile life, leaving one yearning for the ultimate end. To find oneself with beauty and with awful hurt brings the catalyst of madness, bound in tears and the smile at a child.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Many people do not realize the horrors of being a transsexual. In my interactions I come across the nightmares. Those that fantasize about the transition fixing their lives. One is waking up after sexual reassignment surgery and realizing that they made a mistake, some of those wake up screaming after surgery as the reality of what they have done sinks in. They are called the "screamers". Many of the "Surgeons" recognize this issue and are quick to get the troubled transsexual from their care even buying them a plane ticket home. Many of these commit suicide Once the surgery is done, there is no undoing it. Afterward is a year of using dilators as part of the treatment to keep things normal down there. If everything goes well there will be no disfigurement and no infections. A bad surgeon will leave one in the need of reconstruction.
The importance of being grounded in reality is very very important. Typically everyone in your life will reject you unless you are one of the few. No one, will help you. Many would want to. But most do not understand. The closest one can be to self actualization the better, you will need your strength.

Gender expression is typically a manifestation of Gender dysphoria. The reality is if you are not stealth, you have to realize that if you express your femininity there will be repercussions. Usually in a fit of self loathing of our residual male qualities we over compensate and draw attention to ourselves.
When forced to dress "male" we are unhappy and depressed. Ideally it is the acceptance of self that occurs. That is the realization that you are female regardless of what state of transition you are in. Nothing and no one can take that away.

Young transsexuals have a mortality rate of 51 percent mostly at their own hand. statistically one third of us will be raped at some time in our lives. We can expect a one in twelve chance of being murdered.

Generally the body mind conflict causes disruption, and a chronic unstable condition.

To remain male is intolerable, to transition is not for the weak.

Many post ops of the earlier surgeries consul people to turn away from transition for the realities are not easy. If you can accept all of those risks go for it sister. My blessing go out to all . Be gentle on yourselves and realize that it is hard on those around you too. Just be gentle in your firmness and assertion.
*hugs and kisses to all*

 

[Gi_Venus]

Oh yes, immersed in the world of transsexuality is such a fun thing. I am a Room moderator at a TS chatroom, into it flow a diverse group and amongst them are the wounded. Pre-transition, Pre-op and Post Op all mix and mingle in these places. Not surprising, many are the marginalized having lost much in their pursuit of self. The loss of family, friends, and jobs all take their toll. They live in fear, waiting for the next judgment and hurt. Part of the problem for these people is that their condition makes them very self involved and egocentric in the midst of their turmoil. This alienates them further from people making them some of the loneliest people I have ever met. Dealing with suicidal ideation is common as those that have hit the wall perch and stare into the abyss. Many fall. Their very journey moves them through madness from which many never emerge. In all fairness I am certain there are those that are free of this and have gone on to live a rich and fulfilled life. They would not be the ones in those chat rooms for they would have no need.
Our own chat room has the intent of a haven, a place for friendly social interaction without threat or molestation. The idea of that appeals to me. A place of refuge from the harsh reality of the world. Sadly, ego and ideals interfere with this dream. Maybe, maybe we can do it.

 

[Safe_Bet]

You are a dear, sweet, GOOD person Gia. Hugs.

 

[Gi_Venus]

You are a dear, sweet, GOOD person Gia. Hugs.

Thank you sweetie .

 

[Gi_Venus]

Living full time as a woman now. It is odd getting used to the stares of men. I see it in my peripheral vision. At this point I do not want a relationship although if I ran into someone I felt a strong sense of connection with I may be persuaded. I am a cuddler and a lover. It is the gentler things that attract me.
So it is gentle people that carry my heart. Another t-girl has fallen for me, this one is different, I have fallen for her too. I cannot wait to meet her online again. *sigh* I know, no relationships. but...but....we connect.

 

[Gi_Venus]

Transsexualism, a personal perspective by Gianna B.

Words and emotions
images from the past
that linger in my heart
I must feel them
and experience them
for they are the only thing
of truth contained of my past.
All else is colored in
to make it palatable.
Run from the hurt
yet the hurt is the real me
the small seed badly sprouted
strangled by its own attempts
of survival, that path is dry
the other, the elusive and mysterious one
holds the fertile future
full of changing seasons
the promise of fulfillment,
a rich mirage of hope
that lures with its dreams.



These observations are made from my own personal experience, and some of the transsexuals I have associated with. I am writing this to help with education and to promote understanding.

First of all a transsexual is someone born with the brain of the opposite sex.
Post mortem studies in the Netherlands show that Male to Female transsexuals have a brain that is physiologically similar to that of a genetic female. By inference “trans men” would have a similar physiological problem, that of being born in the wrong body.

The whole idea of transitioning is to match the body to the mind.
Because the brain is female/male, a trans-girl/man left alone will be female/male.
The mind is often neglected in transitioning in the obsession with the body and gender dysphoria. It is the most important aspect of transitioning. As we are growing up we create a male persona to fit our lives as a coping mechanism, when we actively begin transitioning we create a female persona which is as false as the male one, it is a projection
As we attempt to paint our lives in light of our right self perception. Mostly we guess at how to be female. We were not taught all the subtleties by our mothers. As such we are naive, coarse and vulnerable lacking the sense of caution that our genetic sisters possess through acculterization.

You have played me.
foolish in my naivete
I let you touch me.
cruel to hide your nature
for I would have never
loved you had I known.
Soiled by your egocentric
intent I bathe in the purity
of my tears, to wash the taint
of hurt from my spirit


The core innate self is female and it is through growth of this innate self that a successful transition is accomplished. This is brought about by nurturing positive traits within one. One little step at a time. The closest thing to self actualization possible is the healthiest way. Strangely enough when it comes to nurturing the core self it is mostly genderless. By being independent of validation we free ourselves of the expectations of others and learn to build our own self esteem and as such become self determining.


I am a Male to Female transsexual, I have the brain of a female.
Had I been brought up as a woman, I would have been more likely to be centered and happier for much of my life. I tried to fit in and match the expectations of those around me. I created a male persona to cope with life and attempted to live in this role for most of my life.

When puberty hit me, I knew I was a woman, I was filled with revulsion with my developing male body(gender dysphoria) and the roles that were expected of me.
My fear at these thoughts compelled me to hide them even from myself.
I could never be a woman, what would my parents think? What would my friends think? What would the members of my church think?
My thoughts of my gender were stuffed in my closet and I told no one. Anytime they tried to creep out of the closet they were stuffed back in.
Needless to say, this led to a non genuine life. Where nothing was real, and nothing brought satisfaction. There were poignant moments as when I was 18 and I picked up my nephew. I so wished I could nurse and suckle him. I was shocked at my thoughts and quickly suppressed them, back into the closet they go. Men don’t have had such thoughts!

And so through the years it was a journey of self revulsion, depression and denial.

Coming out to myself was provoked by something totally different and shocking which brought me to a state of honest introspection.
It brought fear to fore. Fear becomes a way of life, a battle between gender expression and the compelling need to look female, to erase the offensive male self. Each expression brings the fear of discovery or judgment.
My therapist reminded me that I must live in the real world, that the limitations of others will not accept my gender expression. This he said with a sigh as if an emphasis of the inevitability of discouraging gender expression. We all do it, he knows this, our self revulsion makes it real or we self destruct.
I am one of the lucky ones, I have internet friends that have been very loving to me and have been a unrelenting support. Mostly it has been with my lesbian friends.


Things experienced by transsexuals

Gender Dysphoria
Low self esteem
Anger
Anxiety
Fear
Depression
Confusion
Loneliness and Alienation
Job loss and difficulty finding employment
Financial hardship
Loss of family
Loss of friends
Predation by men
Rape
Distrust
Prejudice
Harassment in the work place
Lack of civil rights
Murdered
Suicide


Some poetry and prose


Impressions today: Introspection: the expression of feminine self, an affront to those who knew me before. Confrontation: a sister's voicing of sorrow of a brother lost, I am not gone, just better and more me, a mother's rejection and articulation of hate towards the essence of who I am. She will never see me, I have been there all along but in her world I am something to be hated, she says she loves me as her child but malfeasance in her words shows our age old conflict. I am a teenager again hurt and confused. Gently my therapist tells me that it does not matter, the reality is that any outward expression of my transsexuality will bring an affront to someone, most of his "girls" have a hard time with this. So my hair must be shorn, my earrings and makeup put away and I must be quiet and allow the physical and mental changes to occur with as much tranquility as possible.




The madness of the world has caught me,
consumed by shadows I sit and count the ways
by which I can pass from this place.
The insanity of being able to take such joy
and then plunge into such a night
Perhaps it is not the world that is mad.
Is it right to be parted of happiness in such a black way?
why does this happen? I can see the dream so well
then it fades to a tiny distant apparition., so clouded by tears.
take this heart and bury it, it lives no more, an automaton I will be,
cold like the others, no warmth, no love, oblivious to the dance of intimacy


I must bury my past
Experience to ash,
burning the mask.
to allow seed to grow
my innate self to know
ego cast aside
universe open wide

Today is a struggle for self control anxiety/fear had me in the corner ruminating my end, I am so tired of that feeling. A friend was shocked when I said if I had a gun I would kill myself, just to stop that feeling. The despair of that darkness hurts so badly. I crawled into bed for hours after having the shakes. Money is tight, I can no longer afford my therapist.
Given the choice in allowing my body revert back to what it was(male) ick and seeing the therapist. well I am not stopping my hormones and anti
androgens. If I stop I will be dead. I blew off the PFLAG meeting where I could have gotten some support because I could not face anyone. How ironic. *sigh* This week I have a double work load at work because I could not work last week because of the storm Fay. So it is to bed, maybe sleep will heal me for a bit until the next attack.


Panic attacks are more frequent, one today had me totally disoriented, like I had lost consciousness, I did not know where and who I was. My heart pounded. My sense of loss is profound and devastating. What exactly am I mourning? The sense of self that never was real? Who am I? I know I am a woman. But who am I. Most of my impressions of self are fabrications of pain, and anxieties punctuated by the wonder of the world. Right now I am lost. No religion, no surety, a shadow of what I might be. Flight into the night, the refuge of my bed calls me to oblivion. A metaphor of the great sleep that calls me daily to lay to rest and give up on life. I hurt, I hurt so bad, why do I hurt? What is wrong with me? The kiss of light off of the lagoon forces beauty into my vision, the gulls cry. Accenting my darkness. There is no sleep.

Human diversity is immense, we come in all colors, sizes, genders, orientations. Despite all this variety of human kind we all have common elements in which we can relate to each other. Some are visceral or innate, the genetic code imprinting that drives us over which we have little control. But the bulk of our nature is that of a construct that is begun soon after birth, according to studies gender identification strongly begins at age of 3 with certain characteristics between the different sexes starting even younger. Our identity is built through life based on experience, assumptions(that which we are taught) and our own thoughts that sift through all of this and attempt to categorize this information. Because we are not taught clarity as children, our ability to assess and interpret the data given us is severely limited. Those that are taught life experiences that are functional, are fortunate and can usually cope with some quality of life. For many it is a struggle with a faulty construct, a system that is flawed and impairs us. We learn to distort in trying to live with a system that does not work. For those of us that need it, we need to reprogram ourselves, to Transition back to the innate self(pure, unspoiled, untainted) and grow from that retarded developmental state to a functioning self actuated human being. That is, being in a state of clarity where all negative distortions disappear and we live in the moment being aware of all internal dialog even to the point of habitual behavior.

Transitioning means stripping away the outer self, the construct to allow a healthier more viable self to come into being. This is something that can benefit various situations where one finds themselves having lived a lie. I have been told that many people relate to my own transgendered experience because the need for rebirth is a common theme for many. Truly letting go of ones construct is liberating. It is letting go of all the hurt and pain which is a product of that construct, it is learning to live in the moment and not being tormented by future anxieties or past angst.


My life is changing, when I look in the mirror a woman’s face and body is there. This makes me very happy it is as things should be. Not too long ago a man who never was stared from that mirror, one caught in hopelessness. How can one be themselves when they have no validity? Catching for stars, reaching for stars. I keep missing but the light shines oh so brightly with purity and beauty.


A mixed night, sitting on my friends couch feeling like I am going to burst into tears. Feeling surly I say good night and head to the Wal Mart, driving into the parking lot I burst into tears. Why? I have not a clue, time to call someone. Who this time? Call Jaz my lesbian sister, her voice soothes me, the phone company says ”This telephone number is wrong, cannot be used as dialed“ Another cry, call my friend A. No answer. I sit and cry some more, dark thoughts start to percolate, My phone rings. It is A. “ Gi?”
Tearfully I tell him I just needed to hear a voice, he understands and comforts me, another beautiful friend to spare me from the night and myself.
He tells me that he has always loved me as a friend and that will never change, man or woman he loves the core of who I am. This time I cry happy tears, yes I am bawling my eyes out. A. is comfortable and calming. A. is a profound influence on my life, he introduced me to my little boy’s mother, he was a college roommate and has been an island of refuge through the years.
More than once when I have been devastated he has been a beautiful friend.
I love him so.




It lingers my mood
it hovers hiding in the shadows
waiting to catch me unwary.
A malfeasance fingering the blade.
Around the corner i peek timidly
feeling dread in my heart
Why will it not leave?
Fragile, I face my day
the crystal lattice work
waiting the heavy hand of my life.





It is late, the hours where solitude becomes oppressive. Where despair dominates crowding out the light. There are no soft voices here only the maw of madness. I am not sure people realize the degree of self loathing we transgendered have with these bodies we were born with. The awfulness of puberty, when the maleness takes over in a full horror. The Mortality rate for young transsexuals is high, most by their own hand. I have a one in twelve chance of being murdered as a transsexual and that rate is higher depending on where you live. That is if I am able to survive my own torment.
I live in a manic world of the despair of suicidal ideation and bright thoughts. According to my transgender doc my anxiety that torments me is the effect of my body mind dissonance.
The only love I receive is that of strangers and friends distant over the internet and that of my child. And so I exist having to wrest myself from darkness to intermittently give unconditional love to little boy. He certainly loves unconditionally, gently touching my lips "are you wearing lipstick?" asking me with curiosity. His playmates tease him about his weird dad. He is not resentful and accepts me fully. I love him so. I am a woman, not too pretty but I am a woman plain and simple. Mostly the world holds me in contempt, how dare I!


The wind dries my tears
While the waves wash
Away the stains of my past.
Often I would sit in times
Of trouble and let nature
Purify my troubled spirit.
Fairy Terns, white against
A gray sky, beat their wings
Dipping in flight to the stormy
Waters scooping up their treasures,
small fish, sustenance.
For me the elements swept
Me clean and allowed me
To glean My dream, my soul
From the effigy Of my life
Soiled with the lies
Within my tempestuous heart.


Feeling melancholy and a little sad. Being played by another man probably.
Typically us transsexual girls are lonely bunch, there are men out there that prey on that loneliness and offer love and connection in a guise to fulfill their fantasies. Some are very smooth, sweet talk and the knowledge of what makes us vulnerable and so we fall. Again and again. Years of this leaves many girls cold and embittered to where no one wants them.
It all becomes self prophesying and closed as each carries the burden of their pain. Marginalized? It goes far beyond that. I am one of the lucky ones, I have a love of people that brings friendship and some love. But a lover? I have only had one of those in my life. She is likely to be the only one. There are times where the ache and yearning to be held are intolerable. And so I go on.




Shrift is my heart
torn from
the child of my dreams.
Grasping at the remnants
of a gentle and nurturing place
and seeing them vanish
sand flowing between my fingers
to a desolate place.
Born of pride? Of ego?
or a genuine sense of compassion?
I want to see the latter.
the light places lure
I see their glimmers born of imagination
and bright colors. Like colorful birds
they fly by illusive and beautiful.
captured would they diminish and die?
Dreams are like wild creatures.
sometimes we have to let them
go so that we can be free

 

[cricketbug]

Gi -

As always, your words move me. Sometimes to tears, other times to laughter. You are SUCH an enigma and a powerful person. Emotions are a part of life and you have such a knack for realizing what they are and how to put them into words.

Seriously hon, you should write a book!

*hugs*

 

[Night_Jasmine]

Gi -

As always, your words move me. Sometimes to tears, other times to laughter. You are SUCH an enigma and a powerful person. Emotions are a part of life and you have such a knack for realizing what they are and how to put them into words.

Seriously hon, you should write a book!

*hugs*

I keep telling her that! lol

 

[Gi_Venus]

Gi -

As always, your words move me. Sometimes to tears, other times to laughter. You are SUCH an enigma and a powerful person. Emotions are a part of life and you have such a knack for realizing what they are and how to put them into words.

Seriously hon, you should write a book!

*hugs*

Thank you cricketbug *warm hug* For most of my life, I could not express myself, I knew I needed to.

 

[Gi_Venus]

I keep telling her that! lol

ever you are a light in my life.

 

[Night_Jasmine]

I will endeavor to continue to be that for you as long as I draw breath, big sister mine. Love you loads...

 

[cricketbug]

I keep telling her that! lol

*chuckles* I'm an English major...Lang Arts Teacher. Could proofread it for free even as long as I get a copy!