Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[TheWorldBuilder]

Why doesn’t the sun need to go to college?

Because it already has millions of degrees

For your delectation and amusement: depending on the exact balance of the likely nucleosynthetic fusion cycles between proton-proton and carbon-nitrogen-oxygen in the core, it's effective temperature is ≃16,100,000K ± 700,000K (16,099,727°C ± 700,000°C). The theoretical temperature of an ideal black body radiator which emits the same energy profile as the surface would be at ≃5,777·00K ± 6·00K (5,503·85°C ± 6·00°C).

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

For your delectation and amusement: depending on the exact balance of the likely nucleosynthetic fusion cycles between proton-proton and carbon-nitrogen-oxygen in the core, it's effective temperature is ≃16,100,000K ± 700,000K (16,099,727°C ± 700,000°C). The theoretical temperature of an ideal black body radiator which emits the same energy profile as the surface would be at ≃5,777·00K ± 6·00K (5,503·85°C ± 6·00°C).

Thanks, that’s a lot to take in before I have my coffee ️

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

To simplify: The surface is hot and the core is either very hot (if it uses P-P fusion) or really bloody hot (if it uses C-N-O fusion).

 

[Shygentleman2]

Did you hear about the walnut and cashew that threw a party?

It was nuts.

 

[Shygentleman2]

Two antennas got married.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent!

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

A new takeaway opens in ToonTown and advertises its speciality as toasted sandwiches - any filling done to order.

Bugs hops in on the first day of trading and orders a carrot toasty. It's really good and he decides to come back and see if he can challenge them.

On Tuesday he orders a lettuce toasty. When he gets it, the salad is still crisp and cool inside the toasted bread. He's impressed and pledges to return.

The third day, he asks for a cabbage toasty. Again, the texture and flavour are superb and he leaves saying, "see you tomorrow."

Thursday lunchtime comes and goes with no sign of Bugs. By the end of the afternoon the owner is getting quite concerned about losing a potentially regular customer.

Late on Friday, Bugs staggers into the shop. One ear is bent, some of his fluffy tail has been torn out and he's got scratches all over.

"What happened Bugs?" asks the proprietor.

"Elmer Fudd chased me all the way to the State line, I barely escaped. Could you make me three toasties, one of each? I haven't eaten since Wednesday."

"Of course," says the owner, "but it'll take a few minutes longer."

Half an hour later, Bugs hops up to the Pearly Gates and greets St Peter.

The devout guardian is a little surprised. "Bugs," he says, "we didn't expect you yet. What happened?"

Bugs proceeds to relate the entire tale, but when he finishes St Peter still looks puzzled.

"So what actually brings you up here? Delayed shock? Lead poisoning from Elmer's grapeshot?"

"No," explains Bugs, "it was....."

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

"....mixing my toasties."

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Why did the pushbike fall over?



It was two tyred.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

How should you carry cheese in Glamorgan?



Caerphilly.

 

[Lichen2CU]

How should you carry cheese in Glamorgan?



Caerphilly.

I'm going with Scottish...

 

[Lichen2CU]

What is the deepest type of criticism?

(Sar-Chasm...)

 

[Shygentleman2]

How did the college student cross the ocean?

On a scholar-ship.

 

[beachlights44]

Why was the snowman so upset?

He was having a melt down.

 

[Lichen2CU]

What did NASA's satellite say to the aliens?

(Apollo G... )

 

[Graybear1826]

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I've never paid $200 to have a lentil on my face.

 

[Lichen2CU]

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I've never paid $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Good one!!

 

[Lichen2CU]

Hoping some more good jokes appear...

 

[Shygentleman2]

For the last few months, my wife was leaving jewelry catalogs around the house.
Yes I got the hint.

**I got her a magazine rack for Christmas**

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Everyone knows Rudolph, but have you heard of Bruno the Brown-nosed Reindeer?

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

He flies directly behind Rudolph but, unfortunately, he can't stop as quickly.

 

[Lichen2CU]

Why did Captain Kirk run to be the first to use the new Enterprise toilet?

(He wanted to go where no man had gone before... )

 

[Lichen2CU]

Happy New Year to all the "dad jokes" fans and contributors...

 

[Lichen2CU]

A bird's favorite drinking establishment?

(The Crowbar... )

 

[Shygentleman2]

My son has been nagging me to try spelunking

Finally I caved.

 

[Shygentleman2]

Happy New Year to all the "dad jokes" fans and contributors...

You too kind sir!