Older Male Seeking Female Friends Who Can Tolerate "Dad Jokes"

[BeautifulShadows18]

My husband is mad at me because he asked me to sync his phone, so I threw it in the ocean.

 

[jonnoback]

My husband is mad at me because he asked me to sync his phone, so I threw it in the ocean.

Well he did ask you to. Cool name and avatar BTW

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Well he did ask you to. Cool name and avatar BTW

Thank you

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Once I was kidnapped by mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

 

[jonnoback]

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

 

[jonnoback]

What did one hat say to the other hat whilst out for a walk? You stay here, I'll go on ahead.

 

[Jjlali]

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says what can I get you. The skeleton says I will have a beer and a mop.

 

[jonnoback]

Last one for now and it’s quite apt.

I'm writing a story involving glue, but I'm stuck on the first chapter.

 

[Shygentleman2]

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even calculus, but geometry is where I draw the line.

This will be told to my kids in the morning. It's great!

 

[Shygentleman2]

A neighbor got fired from the orange juice factory.

He just couldn’t concentrate!

 

[Jjlali]

So a Snake walks into the bar and the bartender looks at him and said hey how did you do that.

 

[Lichen2CU]

Thanks for all the cool new dad jokes!!

 

[MerryeMikee]

Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays!

 

[Shygentleman2]

Returned my sweater because of all the static

The store gave me another free of charge

 

[Lichen2CU]

What did the Pope say when visiting the garden?

(Lettuce Pray... )

 

[hugh_jarce69]

This year some friends of mine decided to throw a party combining Burns Night with Chinese New Year

They’re calling it Chinese Burns Night

I wasn’t going to go, but they twisted my arm

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Where do surfers learn to surf?

Boarding school

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, you can catch a cold

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

My dog is a genius! I asked her what one minus one was… she said nothing.

 

[Lichen2CU]

Greetings Ms. Shadows. It's a pleasure to have you "darken our door" once again...

 

[KyleR215]

Did you know it is illegal to laugh out loud in Hawaii?

It has to be aloha.

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Greetings Ms. Shadows. It's a pleasure to have you "darken our door" once again...

Thank you, the pleasure is all mine

 

[Lichen2CU]

Thank you, the pleasure is all mine

Thank you for saying that, but it's "just not the same around here" without you...

 

[BeautifulShadows18]

Thank you for saying that, but it's "just not the same around here" without you...

Lichen when you say sweet things like that you make me blush

 

[Lichen2CU]

Hmmm... it sounds as though you think that's a problem...