Present tense. Do you like it?

[big_cane_sugar]

The default way that spoken English works is that we begin a story in past tense and shift to present when it gets interesting:

"I went out to the bar last weekend, ordered myself a drink, and I was there just minding my own business when all of the sudden this hot woman comes up and goes hey honey buns, come make me and my friends happy and earn a few bucks in the process. So I'm here like why not."

We shift in other ways too: "there" becomes "here."

Lots of writers use this. For some reason Charlotte Bronte's use of it in Jane Eyre seems to be famous, but maybe a more literary person would know of even better examples. I think most readers don't even notice a writer doing this, just as most English speakers and listeners aren't aware that this is how we tell stories.

My guess is that the reason it offends some readers to see a story begin in present tense is that it feels like the writer is trying to begin right in the exciting part of the story.

My take on it is too bad. I create my narrators as characters, even for 3rd person narration, and if the narrator is the kind of character who would do things in present tense, then present tense it is. It's one of those things where I don't feel like I'm deciding this, I'm realizing what a particular narrator would do.

Some people won't like my stories but the readers that do are the ones that matter to me, and those readers will either consciously understand or just intuitively feel why things are the way they are.

Edit: The stuff about present/past is not my own idea. I took a class about teaching grammar to ESL learners and one of the things the course taught us in that in spoken English we usually use tense to indicate our emotional distance (or desired emotional distance, or the emotional distance we desire to represent ourselves as having) from a situation, not the actual time of the event relative to the present. Think "Oh no you didn't" vs "Oh no you don't." Same with future tense: "I'm going to the store" can mean next year I'm going to the store; the difference between that and "I'll go to the store" is that the former is meant to convey more certainty, like you're so sure you will go to the store that in your own mind you're essentially already on your way.

 

[old_prof]

The default way that spoken English works is that we begin a story in past tense and shift to present when it gets interesting:

"I went out to the bar last weekend, ordered myself a drink, and I was there just minding my own business when all of the sudden this hot woman comes up and goes hey honey buns, come make me and my friends happy and earn a few bucks in the process. So I'm here like why not."

We shift in other ways too: "there" becomes "here."

Lots of writers use this. For some reason Charlotte Bronte's use of it in Jane Eyre seems to be famous, but maybe a more literary person would know of even better examples. I think most readers don't even notice a writer doing this, just as most English speakers and listeners aren't aware that this is how we tell stories.

My guess is that the reason it offends some readers to see a story begin in present tense is that it feels like the writer is trying to begin right in the exciting part of the story.

My take on it is too bad. I create my narrators as characters, even for 3rd person narration, and if the narrator is the kind of character who would do things in present tense, then present tense it is. It's one of those things where I don't feel like I'm deciding this, I'm realizing what a particular narrator would do.

Some people won't like my stories but the readers that do are the ones that matter to me, and those readers will either consciously understand or just intuitively feel why things are the way they are.

Thanks for this post. I was re-reading an older story of mine and realized I had done this in a way. I was horrified that I screwed it up that badly, but it felt right.

I'm still not sure if what I did was okay. I started the story in present day, in present tense. Than it goes after a few hundred words into a flash back 42 years earlier, in past tense, which I think emphasizes the flash back nature. But after a few paragraphs it jumps forward four weeks, where I shift back into present tense and stay with it for the next 20+K words. I do finally jump back out of the flash back, although briefly. I then do a second flashback, that is much shorter and almost all narration written in past tense, before returning back to the present (tense and time frame) to finish the story.

By the way, isn't starting right in the action supposed to be a good thing for a story to do?

 

[StillStunned]

I think the light casual tone makes it work, but there is a bit of a problem arising in the second sentence. The narrator can see into the future. The narrator knows what will happen to Eddie after the events being narrated, so in some sense the narration must be taking place after the events. That raises the question: why not past tense? It fits more logically with the frame of the narrative.

But since you've started the story with a tone and style that tell the reader, "This is fun, don't take it too seriously," then I think it's OK. If the tone were heavy and serious, I think there would be a problem.

That might be dressed up as present tense, but it's littered with a past tense perspective from the all knowing narrator. It's not in the moment, for me.

2/10 and one point for trying. 3/10 .

As I noted above, the one way I could see a story of any decent length working would be with a slightly mocking omniscient narrator setting the tone and the scene. If I'd continued writing, I assume the emphasis would be on "in the moment" as the story starts to build. As in, more story and less commentary.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I sometimes use present tense. It seems to work when the story is being narrated by a protagonist who's a distinctive character and who speaks like that naturally.

For a couple examples, see here and here - both start with nearly a page of plot without sex.

Some stories I write and find different sections have ended up as present or past (not to mention first or third person) - if in doubt I'll make it all past tense.

As I noted above, the one way I could see a story of any decent length working would be with a slightly mocking omniscient narrator setting the tone and the scene. If I'd continued writing, I assume the emphasis would be on "in the moment" as the story starts to build. As in, more story and less commentary.

The guy above is slightly mocking, and self-deprecating, but not omniscient.

 

[StillStunned]

The guy above is slightly mocking, and self-deprecating, but not omniscient.

The narrator is supposed to be distinct from Eddie, but I can see how it wasn't clear from the snippet.

 

[Trionyx]

Present tense. Do you like it?​

No, I did not.

 

[Britva415]

isn't starting right in the action supposed to be a good thing for a story to do?

As a generalization, sure, yes. Action-in-progress (“in media res” to use jargon) is one way to hook readers early. Not the only way.

And if this is done, it doesn’t have to be a middle-of-the-story scene. Some stories start in the middle with a hooky action scene and then they’ll back up to ‘splain how did we get here, and tell the beginning of the story later. It doesn’t have to be this way. One can open with an actiony scene which IS the beginning of the story.

Or not. Another way to write an early hook is to write a scene which exposes a conflict and anticipates action, but isn’t an active conflict action. It just makes the reader familiar with the stakes and the motivations. Sometimes it’s better to do that before the action erupts, so that the action doesn’t feel empty when it does start to pop off.

So, the only rule is there are no rules. One is free to employ any technique or reject any technique. Can the author anticipate the effect the writing will have on the reader? Can the author deliberately try to write in a way which will evoke what they want to evoke? I think this is more important than adhering to any kind of rules or even “good-advice” or “best-practices.”

Like, it’s good to be informed and knowledgeable about a range of techniques, but one doesn’t have to always use them as one’s exclusive vocabulary.

 

[Britva415]

Or not. Another way to write an early hook is to write a scene which exposes a conflict and anticipates action, but isn’t an active conflict action. It just makes the reader familiar with the stakes and the motivations.

And, ideally, become invested in them.

 

[Griffin_Rains]

I have a nasty habit of switching back and forth, especially when I walk away from a story and comeback to it later.

In prose I tend to prefer past tense, but I also write screenplays which are written in present tense, which is what causes my issue, I believe.

I have a story that I’d written in present tense, then later decided to include it as part of a series I’m developing. To be consistent, I want change to past tense. This makes me sad. It’s so tedious.

I wish Word or Pages had a tense checker along with the spell checker.

 

[Writer61]

I wish Word or Pages had a tense checker along with the spell checker.

So do I.

Asking an AI to check has crossed my mind, but so far I have resisted the temptation.

 

[GrushaVashnadze]

porn read by David Attenborough

I have written a story in celebration of David Attenborough's 100th birthday. Here it is: Blue Planet, ep. 10: The Anal Fuckslut

It is, in point of fact, written in the present tense, and is best read aloud in a breathy but passionate whisper, ideally whilst creeping through the undergrowth.

 

[HelenL]

I don't know that I'd often have a compelling reason to use present over past, but sometimes it seems (rarely) more fitting. I wrote Rebirth as 3P, past tense, but when I wrote the sequel, Reborn, I wanted it to be more intensely in the protag's head (different protag from the original) and 1P present seemed to work better. Just today I finished a lesfic romance that was written in present tense and I thought it worked fine. My only annoyance with it was one POV was 1P present and the other was 3P present. I find that jarring, and if there are multiple points of view I'd prefer 3P anyway, past or present. (Well, another thing that annoyed me is this should have been entirely single point of view, the drama was spoiled by knowing what was going on in the secondary character's head.)

Spa Day, which features a protag with too little a filter on her inner voice seemed to work much better as present tense. I couldn't justify it formally, but I think the story would lose some of its lighthearted immediacy if I'd made her narrate past events.

What she is, sister or not, is oh my fucking God hot. Jesus Crust on a bagel I'd like to get my hands on... uh, I mean, I'd like to get to know her.

I really don't think I could make that work in past.

I've started several stories in present, made it about 1/4 through and decided it isn't working and I need to rewrite in past. I hate doing that, and I know I've left artifacts of the tense change around. Worse, if I move from writing a present story to a new one in past tense or vice-versa I constantly use the wrong tense. That's probably a good enough reason in itself never to use present tense, but I'm certain I'll be tempted again.

 

[HelenL]

So do I.

Asking an AI to check has crossed my mind, but so far I have resisted the temptation.

This, on both counts. GDocs highlights words in the wrong tense - sometimes - but it's only parsing sentences, so it's arbitrary as to which it considers correct. Often it doesn't catch anything, and if the sentence is internally consistent, even if it's different from the rest of the work, it won't raise any concerns. This is the *only* reason I ever feel like feeding a story into an AI though, and I don't want an AI digging into my words at any time.

 

[dirk2024]

I have had a problem with tense swapping in the past, mistakenly switching back and forth. So I've made an effort to fix that. But my most recently completed (but still unpublished) story still had a couple of present tense mistakes in it.

At the same time, I made the intentional switch from past tense to present tense at the end of the story. I'd say its about 95% past and 5% present, as a unique way to wrap up the tale. Most of the story was about a young woman and her grandma. In the end, the young woman is now a grandma, and she's been telling her story to her grandaughter.

I think I pulled it off, but of course, the readers will tell me whether I was successful or not.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I haven't used present tense in forever, but I'm doing it for my current WIP, and as I'm editing I'm catching instances where I switched to past tense because I have such an allergic reaction to present. I remember reading too many awful fanfics in first-person present tense, and now my association with 1P present is that. And, of course, my current WIP is 1P present (fits the vibe of anxious spiraling bird well) so I'm so self-conscious about every aspect of this story and unsure about myself in ways I haven't been since maybe my second story here.

I tend to associate present tense with more amateurish writings, but that's an unfair characterization. Like I said, it's just because I was exposed to so much awful, awful present-tense writings in my teens in the early days of online fanfic and almost all my real adult books were in past tense, so that was solidified pretty early on. It has some very nice use cases though, especially around immediacy, or if you have a lot of loud thinking and intrusive thoughts that wouldn't play so well in past tense. Hence why I chose it for this story.

 

[liliput1]

We should do a writing prompt in some fucked up tense like present perfect. Or maybe pluperfect (or as the french call it, the more-than-perfect tense)

 

[anthrodisiac]

We should do a writing prompt in some fucked up tense like present perfect. Or maybe pluperfect (or as the french call it, the more-than-perfect tense)

I have sharpened my sickle claws in preparation of hunting you down in conjunction with @Britva415.

 

[liliput1]

This, on both counts. GDocs highlights words in the wrong tense - sometimes - but it's only parsing sentences, so it's arbitrary as to which it considers correct. Often it doesn't catch anything, and if the sentence is internally consistent, even if it's different from the rest of the work, it won't raise any concerns. This is the *only* reason I ever feel like feeding a story into an AI though, and I don't want an AI digging into my words at any time.

Is it smart enough to figure out that the spoken parts are in present tense and the rest is in past? That's where I feel like I'd get stuck trying to scan a whole document looking for mis-tensed sections.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I don't think I've ever read anything that's consistently in third-person present tense. However, I recall a story I wrote (not here) where the first five paragraphs were present tense, then it switched to past within the next one, and continued as a normal past-tense story. The effect I was trying for was like the opening was scene-setting, what on television or film would have the opening credits over it, or be in black and white, and the switch of tense was the switch to live action. I felt it worked, but I don't know whether readers got the idea.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I don't think I've ever read anything that's consistently in third-person present tense. However, I recall a story I wrote (not here) where the first five paragraphs were present tense, then it switched to past within the next one, and continued as a normal past-tense story. The effect I was trying for was like the opening was scene-setting, what on television or film would have the opening credits over it, or be in black and white, and the switch of tense was the switch to live action. I felt it worked, but I don't know whether readers got the idea.

Mhm, I'm familiar with that one. Like wide-angle shot of the landscape sort of vibe, "Here is how things are in this place" type of thing:

The mountains loom tall over the sweeping meadows of Colorado. Wind rustles the aspens and shakes snow from the branches as the first flowers of spring wait to bud.

 

[BeechLeaf]

The touch I liked about my own example, if I may boast a little, was that it wasn't a separate overview, it was all actions. She arrives, gets out of the car, meets him when he opens the door, he takes her through the house, she sees the interesting contents, they arrive in the living room, all in quite detailed description. Then the next paragraph opens with something like 'There is a roaring fire. She seated herself...' and right there the view switches.

That was a special stylistic effect, not something I'd ordinarily do - though I did also switch to present at the end of a story here, again for a special effect.

 

[TheLobster]

I don’t necessarily mind my past tense, but I prefer my present relaxed.

 

[AG31]

Now that I've been prompted to think about it, I realize that I've read books where I've been a little surprised to notice, quite a way in, that it's in present tense. Other books have annoyed me so much with the present tense that I decide I can't take it long enough to finish. I wish I knew what the difference was in technique.

 

[SimonDoom]

I don't think I've ever read anything that's consistently in third-person present tense. However, I recall a story I wrote (not here) where the first five paragraphs were present tense, then it switched to past within the next one, and continued as a normal past-tense story. The effect I was trying for was like the opening was scene-setting, what on television or film would have the opening credits over it, or be in black and white, and the switch of tense was the switch to live action. I felt it worked, but I don't know whether readers got the idea.

John Updike's Rabbit series is in third person present tense, and he won two Pulitzer prizes for it, so it can be done.

He's a distinctive writer, sometimes showy, but also immersive. I think he preferred present tense because of that immediate, immersive quality. He also wrote in a free indirect style that ties the third person narrative closely to the thoughts and experiences of the main character, Rabbit Angstrom.

I think the present tense works well at the very end of the last novel, which I won't give away. It's very moving.

 

[njlauren]

The classic example of present tense used as a gimmick of sorts was the short stories of Damon Runyon. They are written usually in the first person (the narrator being, as Runyon puts it, "a guy out and about", an unnamed mr x). Sometimes he relates the stories others tell him.

Runyon had a language of his own, called "Runyonese" , whose chief trait is it never is written in past tense, even if relating things that happened before the time of the telling. So whereas a normal piece of writing might be "It was 3am, and I was standing in front of Mindy's restaurant, thinking about this and that, when a character by the name of Rusty Charlie put his large hand on my shoulder and I was afraid it was going to break off my body" In Runyonese this would be "It is 3 bells, and I am standing in front of Mindy's restaurant, wondering about this and that, when I feel a big jolt in my shoulder and it commences to ache somewhat, and when I turn around I see it is Rusty Charlie, it feels even worse". Whether such a dialect ever existed is debateable, but it gives the stories their own unique rhythm. For those not familiar with Runyon, he was a famous newspaper columnist of the 20's and 30's who wrote a bunch of short stories that were quite popular and featured this kind of writing. If you ever saw the movie or stage musical "Guys and Dolls", it was based on several of his stories. (there have been other versions of his stories filmed, and most of them are dreadful)