So I'm in New York.

[OhMissScarlett]

That's jet lag. You can't see it, but it's all skyscrapers outside the window. I don't get them back home. You probably don't either. They have something called traffic here. It's when a lot of cars honk their horns and the drivers curse in Albanian to each other.

Here in Bumblefuck, a traffic jam is when nine cars can't pass a combine.

 

[cantdog]

A sign of civilization, right there. Like musicians in the subway.

 

[NoJo]

Here in Bumblefuck, a traffic jam is when nine cars can't pass a combine.

It must be painful passing a combine. I like the way people obey the 25 mph speed limit in the mid-west in those long, empty streets. It's like they even drive with a slow drawl.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

It must be painful passing a combine.

I must be a little slow myself because I looked at this three times before I got it.

 

[NoJo]

I must be a little slow myself because I looked at this three times before I got it.

Yep, us City folk sure are smarter 'n a bob-tail lynx chasin' after a jack rabbit's pussy-hole.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Here in Bumblefuck, a traffic jam is when nine cars can't pass a combine.

You too huh?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Yep, us City folk sure are smarter 'n a bob-tail lynx chasin' after a jack rabbit's pussy-hole.

Lol. Yep, y'all are.

You too huh?

Yes, and believe it or not, I moved away to the big city when I was young. Big City=population 5000

 

[NoJo]

When I stopped in Pendleton, Oregon, I had an urge to move there. I like small towns, as long as there's a big town within driving distance. Otherwise I can image it gets a bit claustrophobic.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

When I stopped in Pendleton, Oregon, I had an urge to move there. I like small towns, as long as there's a big town within driving distance. Otherwise I can image it gets a bit claustrophobic.

We're about five minutes from shopping and forty-five minutes from an international airport, so it's not so bad.

 

[Guest]

Joe you scumbucketmonkeyboy!
glad you crossed the lill pond in one piece...im surprised they let you in...ah welll, huddled masses and all.

 

[ElizabethWest]

Joe you scumbucketmonkeyboy!
glad you crossed the lill pond in one piece...im surprised they let you in...ah welll, huddled masses and all.

Glad to hear you sounding like your old self again, Vella dear.

 

[Guest]

Glad to hear you sounding like your old self again, Vella dear.

thank you sweetie...
yes, im sober...
shall we celebrate with a nice tall bottle of grey goose?

 

[cloudy]

You too huh?

Don't forget the old guys - always with some sort of hat on - driving a 1970 Ford pickup, with a Farm tag.

 

[Guest]

Pop open the bottle of the goose!

 

[Belegon]

Don't forget the old guys - always with some sort of hat on - driving a 1970 Ford pickup, with a Farm tag.

with a styrofoam cup o' chaw juice on the floor by the stick shift and a half dozen partial tins of Copenhagen stashed around the cab...

 

[ElizabethWest]

thank you sweetie...
yes, im sober...
shall we celebrate with a nice tall bottle of grey goose?

Sounds lovely...

 

[TxRad]

If you think a combine is fun to pass, try a pulpwood truck.... All sorts of stuff fly off in the wind as they fly along at 30 mph..... that is if they are on a down hill run....

Hey Joe... welcome to the red part of the US of A...... Or is NY blue.... Damn I hate when the memory kicks up and i drop into CRS.......

 

[cantdog]

TxRad, there's a red awning out Joe's window. Is that an indicator, I wonder? The cabs, he says, are yellow. Hmmm.

 

[cantdog]

Hell, it's dark out there now.

 

[cantdog]

Joe must be touring the City what never sleeps. There are smells in New York you just don't get elsewhere. Like the sour dirt smell anywhere there's an overpass, in Boston. I think it's the mix of myco-critters or something. A New York rank to go with the rest of the experience.

 

[cantdog]

Of course, we got Biddeford. Mill town, lotta French-Canadians.

(sings): O little town of Biddeford, thy mills are dark and rank...

That's the bid-fud national anthem.

And through thy dank streets runneth
The everlasting stench
The cry goes out from far and near:
"God save us from the French!"

Brings a tear to the eye. Much as Biddeford does.

 

[shereads]

Hi sailor.

Bring some pretzels back for the AH. Street ones, with soot on them.

 

[cantdog]

shereads, so delightful to hear your voice. I've been all alone here, hollering down into New York as though it were a cave mouth.

 

[shereads]

Hey Joe... welcome to the red part of the US of A...... Or is NY blue.... Damn I hate when the memory kicks up and i drop into CRS.......

Blue, my friend. NY, like all of the states with tall buildings and more libraries than churches, is a blue state. NYC will be the East Coast capital of the new Blue States of America.

Joe, will you see Spamalot?

 

[cantdog]

Good. We need a capital, and NYC has been grooming for the role for three hundred years.