Something to think about today

[MysteriousRomantic]

I believe some people are meant to spend their lives alone-no long term partner or husband/wife.

Do you think that is an erroneous thought/belief?

I hope and pray you are incorrect here Danae. Maybe I am one of those if I belive your statement.

Not my idea of the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Just realizing tonight that what I ahve wanted will probably never ever happen. So I am prepared to live alone forever.

 

[Denae]

What gets me is the jump to think that I don't have a life or my life is incomplete because there is no one I go to bed with on a regular basis or that I don't have someone to say "I love you" to.

I believe in love. I love to hear about love and people who are in love.

I am just not capable of loving to the level that someone deserves.

 

[jacuzzigal]

I believe some people are meant to spend their lives alone-no long term partner or husband/wife.

Do you think that is an erroneous thought/belief?

No, I don't think it's erroneous, Den. I'm interested to understand more about this belief. Does this mean you believe in having different relationships throughout your life? If a more long-term relationship developed in your life, would you cut it short based on this belief? Or would you ride it out and see where it went?

I know my parents' generation disagrees with this, but I've noticed my generation cutting a different path for relationships. We're trying to find our own definitions, and not just blindly adopt those of our parents. That doesn't mean many of us won't choose to go the way of our parents and spend our lives with one person. But for others, it's different. Some people want to be with one person forever. Some people don't. I don't think either is erroneous. It's just those people's choices.

 

[Denae]

No, I don't think it's erroneous, Den. I'm interested to understand more about this belief. Does this mean you believe in having different relationships throughout your life? If a more long-term relationship developed in your life, would you cut it short based on this belief? Or would you ride it out and see where it went?

I know my parents' generation disagrees with this, but I've noticed my generation cutting a different path for relationships. We're trying to find our own definitions, and not just blindly adopt those of our parents. That doesn't mean many of us won't choose to go the way of our parents and spend our lives with one person. But for others, it's different. Some people want to be with one person forever. Some people don't. I don't think either is erroneous. It's just those people's choices.

Hi JG.

I think the best way to explain my life right now, is no "loving" relationships (other than my friends) you know--nothing of the special variety. That also means that I'm celibate. I think if anyone has seen some of my posts, I was celibate for 7 years, broke that last year with a brief fling during a rough personal time and I regret it, but it was strictly a sexual thing with a neighbor. I've been celibate ever since then.

I haven't been asked out on a date in four years, which is fine by me because the greatest guy in the world could ask me out right now and I would say no.

I choose to live this way because I'm not interested in marriage or living with someone. I've closed myself off to love for me. I have done a lot of soul searching in the last 2-3 years and have come to realize that I've never given 100% of myself in a relationship. I've had some very good relationships, but I don't think I had a good foundation from the beginning.

Since I know I can't return love in the way it should be returned, I have chosen not to become involved at all. No one gets hurt.

 

[MysteriousRomantic]

What gets me is the jump to think that I don't have a life or my life is incomplete because there is no one I go to bed with on a regular basis or that I don't have someone to say "I love you" to.

I believe in love. I love to hear about love and people who are in love.

I am just not capable of loving to the level that someone deserves.

WHY are you not capable of loving like that?

 

[MysteriousRomantic]

Hi JG.

I think the best way to explain my life right now, is no "loving" relationships (other than my friends) you know--nothing of the special variety. That also means that I'm celibate. I think if anyone has seen some of my posts, I was celibate for 7 years, broke that last year with a brief fling during a rough personal time and I regret it, but it was strictly a sexual thing with a neighbor. I've been celibate ever since then.

I haven't been asked out on a date in four years, which is fine by me because the greatest guy in the world could ask me out right now and I would say no.

I choose to live this way because I'm not interested in marriage or living with someone. I've closed myself off to love for me. I have done a lot of soul searching in the last 2-3 years and have come to realize that I've never given 100% of myself in a relationship. I've had some very good relationships, but I don't think I had a good foundation from the beginning.

Since I know I can't return love in the way it should be returned, I have chosen not to become involved at all. No one gets hurt.

Well Danae I have decided the same thing. Besides then I do not have to open myself up to being hurt anymore. It is one of the worst feelings in the world and it truly is like something is missing in me right now. So I have chosen to live alone and stay out of relationships. The wall I have built is enourmous right now. I do not think anyone is capable of even making a dent in it

 

[Denae]

Well Danae I have decided the same thing. Besides then I do not have to open myself up to being hurt anymore. It is one of the worst feelings in the world and it truly is like something is missing in me right now. So I have chosen to live alone and stay out of relationships. The wall I have built is enourmous right now. I do not think anyone is capable of even making a dent in it

For me, it's not even so much about the hurt. I know you have to take a chance that you will be hurt but if you find love it's worth it. Not every relationship is meant to be. I've had some wonderful relationships and have had a very good taste of what love is.

I've probably said more than I should have, so I think I'd best stop here.

 

[MysteriousRomantic]

For me, it's not even so much about the hurt. I know you have to take a chance that you will be hurt but if you find love it's worth it. Not every relationship is meant to be. I've had some wonderful relationships and have had a very good taste of what love is.

I've probably said more than I should have, so I think I'd best stop here.

I am at the point where I am afraid to take the chance anymore.

and like you I have probably saiod more then i should have also. Have a wonderful evening

 

[jacuzzigal]

I choose to live this way because I'm not interested in marriage or living with someone. I've closed myself off to love for me. I have done a lot of soul searching in the last 2-3 years and have come to realize that I've never given 100% of myself in a relationship. I've had some very good relationships, but I don't think I had a good foundation from the beginning.

Since I know I can't return love in the way it should be returned, I have chosen not to become involved at all. No one gets hurt.

hi Den. *hugs*

I think I understand how you feel. No one getting hurt is not a bad thing... I have been married twice and neither one lasted long. There are a lot of reasons for both, but I know that I didn't give 100% of myself in either marriage because I had no idea who I was. So how could I? I'm figuring it out now... and I've decided it's best not to be in a relationship because I have no idea how to balance who I am and what my needs are with someone else's. I don't know that will be forever. I just know it's what I need now.

Like I said, I don't think it's erroneous, Den. You do what you need to do and what's right for you. I just think it's always good to be open to changing philosophies if you ever need or want to. I recently read a book where the author said the only thing she knows for sure is that she could be completely wrong about anything she knows. I think that's a pretty good philosophy to live by in love and in life.

 

[Denae]

hi Den. *hugs*

I think I understand how you feel. No one getting hurt is not a bad thing... I have been married twice and neither one lasted long. There are a lot of reasons for both, but I know that I didn't give 100% of myself in either marriage because I had no idea who I was. So how could I? I'm figuring it out now... and I've decided it's best not to be in a relationship because I have no idea how to balance who I am and what my needs are with someone else's. I don't know that will be forever. I just know it's what I need now.

Like I said, I don't think it's erroneous, Den. You do what you need to do and what's right for you. I just think it's always good to be open to changing philosophies if you ever need or want to. I recently read a book where the author said the only thing she knows for sure is that she could be completely wrong about anything she knows. I think that's a pretty good philosophy to live by in love and in life.

Now that is a philosophy I can't argue with. Works for me. Thank you for sharing this with me tonight.

 

[jacuzzigal]

Now that is a philosophy I can't argue with. Works for me. Thank you for sharing this with me tonight.

Anytime! It's my new motto.

And, as strange it sounds, it reminds me of a scene from Men in Black where K is telling Will Smith "500 years ago we KNEW that the world was flat. And 20 minutes ago you KNEW you were alone on this planet." What we know changes with who we are. Thank goodness!

 

[MysteriousRomantic]

hi Den. *hugs*

. I recently read a book where the author said the only thing she knows for sure is that she could be completely wrong about anything she knows. I think that's a pretty good philosophy to live by in love and in life.

yea I know I have been wrong in many things recently. I think it is a very goods philosophy to live by

 

[Cathleen]

When you rise in the morning, form a resolution to make the day a happy one for a fellow creature.

-Sydney Smith

 

[Cathleen]

<snip>
I recently read a book where the author said the only thing she knows for sure is that she could be completely wrong about anything she knows. I think that's a pretty good philosophy to live by in love and in life.

Jazzy, that is terrific. Each day I find that I'm wrong about something - in a good way. I want to be reminded that I'm human, that I make mistakes - I learn best this way.

Definitely a great thought. I hope you're well.

 

[jacuzzigal]

Jazzy, that is terrific. Each day I find that I'm wrong about something - in a good way. I want to be reminded that I'm human, that I make mistakes - I learn best this way.

Definitely a great thought. I hope you're well.

Thanks, Cathleen. I find I'm wrong too - and as long as I keep learning everything is ok.

I'm doing well and hope you are as well. *hugs*

 

[DLL]

i have to recommend a terrific book for all who havent read it yet..it moved me and i want to talk about it with someone...
its by Mitch Albom called the five people you meet in heaven
it was super!!!!

 

[Cathleen]

i have to recommend a terrific book for all who havent read it yet..it moved me and i want to talk about it with someone...
its by Mitch Albom called the five people you meet in heaven
it was super!!!!

I have to be honest - I started it, I was looking forward to reading it very much. I didn't finish it - even though it is such a short book. It just didn't hold my interest and I didn't quite like the style of writing. I was shocked actually, it is only the second time I've not finished a book.

 

[LustfulOne50]

i have to recommend a terrific book for all who havent read it yet..it moved me and i want to talk about it with someone...
its by Mitch Albom called the five people you meet in heaven
it was super!!!!

That interesting I just got that book to..

 

[DLL]

That interesting I just got that book to..

+


let me know when you are finished ...we can talk about what you thought of it

 

[LustfulOne50]

+


let me know when you are finished ...we can talk about what you thought of it

Ok sounds good..it was refed to as a good read.

 

[MysteriousRomantic]

another great read is "The Present" By stephen johnson

 

[Cathleen]

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

-Arnold Glasgow

 

[babydoll2u]

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

-Arnold Glasgow

beautiful and so very true....

 

[DLL]

I have to be honest - I started it, I was looking forward to reading it very much. I didn't finish it - even though it is such a short book. It just didn't hold my interest and I didn't quite like the style of writing. I was shocked actually, it is only the second time I've not finished a book.

Cate go to your room!!!!!



you must finish it its very good....it will only take an hour now come on

 

[LustfulOne50]

Cate go to your room!!!!!



you must finish it its very good....it will only take an hour now come on

Yes and I second that go to your room Cathleen and don't slip out until the reading is ...now the bathroom slip outs are fine...but have some tissues by reading it. You will smile , You will tear, and you even may chuckle, but once you finish you have ran the emotional gamit..and it feels so good. enjoy Cathleen