Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Taegul]

I coffee.

 

[DeckardNYC]

I love waking up early on Saturday and seizing the day!

 

[VoraciousValue]

I once kissed Mike Pence right on the lips. Sad to say, I liked it. Oddly enough, so did he.

 

[johnnieblue44]

I once kissed Mike Pence right on the lips. Sad to say, I liked it. Oddly enough, so did he.

Palm Sunday today. I don’t plan to take this literally.

 

[Taegul]

I posed as a priest for 7 years just to hear people's confessions. I'll be uploading 16,329 new stories to Lit any day now...

 

[blade_rocknut]

I believe everything msnbc says, and think they're the pinnacle of truthfulness and objective reporting today.

 

[Series 6]

I was drafted ahead of Tom Brady in the 2000 NFL Draft

 

[stickygirl]

I was turned down to be the WH press secretary because I had no evidence I was a cunt

 

[DarkSimian]

Was the only person drafted to go to Desert Storm

 

[Devlishone4fun]

I come here just to read the stories.

 

[bunny4med]

Trumpy and I go to the same spray tan salon and we both have the same white raccoon look.

 

[Mr_Underground]

Trump and I both snort Adderall. Wait that is actually some true muh fuckin shit.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I once fought a grizzly bear over a trout.

 

[mr_rippley]

I fought the bear next... and won.

 

[Esslemont]

I lost my virginity when I was 13 to my 16 year old second cousin from England.

Wait...what’s this thread called again? Lol...memories.

 

[Orchidea73]

I liked the first time I had sex.

 

[Jada59]

The moon really is made of green cheese. I know. I've been there!

 

[JerseyJade]

One of my greatest ambitions in life is to one day be really famous on Porn hub.

 

[Taegul]

I never could decide whether I wanted to be Team Edward or Team Jacob so I just decided to play for both teams...

 

[fakingadulthood]

I am not a golden god

 

[Taegul]

I still wish the Chargers well in L.A.

 

[Taegul]

I never kill threads.

Ever.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

Whenever I'm nude in front of a woman for the first time, I always show her my helicopter dick technique.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Nothing like having a vivid dream about your ex to help you get over them.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

I'm a selfish, judgemental, tree hugging, 20/20 rifle toting, self-righteous porn star.