Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[LLCox]

I am a champion surfer.

 

[Taegul]

I only masturbate to pictures of Nancy Pelosi on days ending in "y".

 

[IndieGirl00]

I am superwoman

 

[Xerxes82]

I'm actually an award winning mystery novelist.

I once came inside Anne Hathaway in the back of a Chicago cab.

I intend to divide my inheritence King Lear style amongst whomever most effectively praises me in my old age.

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

I enjoy being on call.

 

[bunny4med]

I don't have the virus.

 

[JerseyJade]

I don't have the virus.

No lie here. Bunny, I'm sorry you're sick and hope you get better soon. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I CAN eat only one Lay’s potato chip.

 

[ClosetHedonist]

I'm an extrovert's extrovert!

 

[Feelfreetotouch]

I don't have the virus.

I have a cure. Hit me up.

 

[mulehead61]

I’m 6’10” tall

 

[JerseyJade]

I will never touch a penis again.

 

[jaysonfrommars_del]

I find cunnilingus dirty and unappealing.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

I'm an angel, I come complete with a halo

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I have never been turned on while sitting at my desk at work.

 

[zydrate]

I'm sexy

 

[JerseyJade]

I always behave myself when I'm at parties.

 

[de_valmont]

I'm sexy

I must definitely enjoin you to obey this thread's rule: You must lie about yourself.



I am never loud.

 

[Xerxes82]

My ancestry and medical history make me an ideal candidate for donating sperm. Such is the demand that I can charge a couple grand per donation. I charge extra if they want it caused by the left hand.

 

[johnnieblue44]

My ancestry and medical history make me an ideal candidate for donating sperm. Such is the demand that I can charge a couple grand per donation. I charge extra if they want it caused by the left hand.

I’ve resisted the urge for self-gratification during this entire stay-at-home period.

 

[Taegul]

Not all the voices in my head are always good, but I've gotten so much better at filtering out the bad ones.

I'll let you decide which part of that is the lie.

 

[bw699353]

I'm happy with the current direction of my life

 

[Taegul]

Kim Jong-un has been hanging out at my place and that's why no one has seen him in North Korea. Additionally, there is now a Twinkie shortage in all of Southern California.

 

[johnnieblue44]

I was asked to wear a face mask in public long before this Corona thing.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Super excited that summer's almost here!