Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Asian_Flower]

I have enormous tits.

 

[johnnieblue44]

I have enormous tits.

I plan on spending tomorrow placing my enormous member between Asian Flower’s enormous tits.

 

[Xerxes82]

Typically, women are so impressed by my skills in the bedroom that they recommend me to their friends, sisters, mothers and legal age daughters. As a result I'm swimming in so much eager quim I frankly don't have time to satsify them all even when I've raised my quota to four a day.

It was really difficult having to tell Mrs. Carmichael that she would have to come back tomorrow to cum, since her sister Agnes was simply going to be the last to receive service tonight.

 

[emsway]

My curvaceous figure, incredible singing voice, and cobra taming skills are the envy of many. Many, many. Many.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I never want to go to Canada ever again.

Typically, women are so impressed by my skills in the bedroom that they recommend me to their friends, sisters, mothers and legal age daughters. As a result I'm swimming in so much eager quim I frankly don't have time to satsify them all even when I've raised my quota to four a day.

It was really difficult having to tell Mrs. Carmichael that she would have to come back tomorrow to cum, since her sister Agnes was simply going to be the last to receive service tonight.

This is hysterical!

 

[gavinp]

i'm a pussy magnet. Just need to look at a lady and she wants to shag the shit out of me.

 

[Mrtenant]

I have a really small penis. Get a microscope and tweezers if you wanna grope it.

 

[Sophie96xoxo]

Hates all forms of sex

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

I'm fine.

 

[Taegul]

Parachuting from an airplane 15,000 feet in the air was scary. Having my parachute fail to open was even more scary. Just happening to land on a trampoline and bounce safely into someone's pool was the second luckiest thing to ever happen to me.

 

[Xerxes82]

I have fathered all 34 students scheduled to attend Ms Krueger's first grade class at Eisenhower Elementary in 2021. Awkward.

 

[VoraciousValue]

My trucker antics were the basis for Smokey and the Bandit. Granted I wasn't born yet, but the writer was clairvoyant.

 

[PartyDress]

I have a horrible aversion men, music, money, art, reading, travel and sarcasm.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I am the current senior U.S. Senator from the state of Missouri.

I have fathered all 34 students scheduled to attend Ms Krueger's first grade class at Eisenhower Elementary in 2021. Awkward.

Congratulations?

 

[fullservice65]

I keep a spare cock in my gym bag.

 

[PartyDress]

A harem of men are feeding me grapes and giving me a full body massage.

 

[KinkyLaughs]

A harem of men are feeding me grapes and giving me a full body massage.

Are you still taking applications??

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Brrr! It's chilly in here! I should get another quilt, I think.

 

[PartyDress]

Are you still taking applications??

My villa has many rooms, so there's always space for one more.

 

[Jada59]

I hate small animals.

 

[KinkyLaughs]

My villa has many rooms, so there's always space for one more.

Excellent! More grapes on the way...

 

[PartyDress]

Excellent! More grapes on the way...

There's not a thunderstorm currently raging outside my window.

 

[Taegul]

I hate the beach so damn much. Bleh.

 

[Series 6]

I was the greatest back up quarterback in the history of the NFL

 

[bunny4med]

I'm bored with my Sybian.