Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Jada59]

I hate sucking cock. It's yucky and icky and I would never do it!

 

[_Mrs_K]

I am never horny

 

[Pervy_Sage]

I’ve never gotten close to being on the live rounds of The Voice.

 

[Taegul]

I am the walrus.

Goo goo g'joob.

 

[Trekka]

^lol

I’m fully clothed right now, and indoors.

 

[WerdNerd]

I have three balls but you'll just have to guess where the third one is.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

I'm so good at taking hints that I'm almost psychic. No one ever has to tell me what should be obvious.

 

[Unquoted]

I invented the word illiterate to win a game of scrabble with a triple word score.

 

[Xerxes82]

I keep a Top Ten Best Blowjobs list, and award cash prizes for any woman who manages to break into the top 5.

 

[JerseyJade]

I hate giving blowjobs. I only do that when I have to, and when I do, I throw up afterwards.

 

[seetheartinme]

I'm super shy and not at all an exhibitionist.

 

[basic_desires]

I'm perfectly happy with self isolation...

 

[Taegul]

I was raised in the woods by wolves and learned all I know about love from an albino skunk

 

[Cyberbella]

I’m horribly spiteful and hold grudges.

 

[JediSurfer]

I once saved a family of mannequins from a burning department store. I lost a leg in the process but now have a sweet prosthetic that is almost identical to my real leg with the exception of an extra toe that carries a battery in it.


(No, I don’t know what the battery is for.)

 

[MrPractical]

I spent my youth n an English boarding school and graduated with a Master's from Harvard in Business at the age of 16.

 

[JerseyJade]

I spent my youth n an English boarding school and graduated with a Master's from Harvard in Business at the age of 16.

That's nothing. When I was in Kindergarten, I was so smart that I went from Kindergarten right to 12th grade. I graduated High School when I was 7.

 

[emsway]

I’m currently sitting in an interrogation room. They are shining the light in my face....I’m about to crack.

 

[VoraciousValue]

I am, in fact, Elvis Presley. I've been hiding on a secret Caribbean island for the last 40+ years. Would you like a peanut butter and banana sandwich?

 

[Taegul]

I am, in fact, Elvis Presley. I've been hiding on a secret Caribbean island for the last 40+ years. Would you like a peanut butter and banana sandwich?

I am Tupac Shakur and I live on the island with Elvis. Life is good.

 

[Taegul]

I never, and I mean never, kill threads.

*Looks around and whistles as a tumbleweed rolls by*

 

[PleasedToRead]

I'm completely selfish and don't care about other's feelings!

 

[Sh75]

I could never be one of those people who gets enjoyment out of annoying others

 

[Taegul]

I am absolutely positively without a doubt 100% certain I am not drinking a beer right now.

 

[Girly_girl]

I’m a cold hearted bitch