Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[paulworcsuk]

I’m @LucieLou007 official photographer

 

[EctoJohn]

I find Jacob Marley sexually attractive.

 

[jonnoback]

i recently won a fashion model contract.

As a Page 3 girl?

 

[Lord_Libido]

My genetically engineered cat girl friend got a ball of yarn for Christmas

 

[LeSabreur]

I caught him! I caught his fat ass coming down the chimney!

 

[awired50]

I will not orgasm this morning.

 

[bobb_sledd]

I absolutely love Christmas.

 

[LeSabreur]

I am a wonderful dancer.

 

[awired50]

I love spinach

 

[Lord_Libido]

I love when people are dishonest and manipulative.

 

[awired50]

I like haters.

 

[EctoJohn]

I can ice skate like a pro.

 

[jonnoback]

i recently won a fashion model contract.

Bravissimo

Sorry. Couldn’t resist

 

[snexxer]

Im a time traveller from the year 2742.
Me and a friend from Ganymede went back to 1bc so we could hang around until the birth of Christ.

However due to a lot of drinks at a local shepherd meet, he got Mary pregnant. As we already knew the story, and Mary didn't want to let Josph know what happened. We created the original nativity.

We left a copy of the King James bible so "Jesus" knew who what where and when, and also a few gadgets that would help with the miracles.

I'm hiding in this timeline so I don't get in trouble, my friend is waiting for the right time to give the Romans a clone for the crucifixtion.

 

[SusanHoward]

I can still fit in the gown I wore when elected Prom Queen.

 

[Xerxes82]

I did not send a fair few tipsy dm's for the holiday.

 

[kathyisgr65]

Leads the regional chapter of AA in my area...umm passing @Xerxes82 a pamphlet..1st step is ..

 

[Xerxes82]

Leads the regional chapter of AA in my area...umm passing @Xerxes82 a pamphlet..1st step is ..

Doesn't care what her pamphlet says, am not sending dick pics.

 

[kathyisgr65]

Doesn't care what her pamphlet says, am not sending dick pics.

Can't believe how difficult it is to get y'all to send me unsolicited dick pics..is it me)

 

[EctoJohn]

I practice nude Roman style wrestling.

 

[barefootgirl69]

My first job was as an elf at the North Pole.

After a few years, I finally got to ride in Santa's sleigh. After seeing warm weather at Christmas, I quit and moved south.

 

[Trekka]

i wake up annually on 12/26 feeling nubile.
with energy for days.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

I can still fit in the gown I wore when elected Prom Queen.

Why would you want to? I'm sure you have better curves now.

 

[LegendInMyOwnMind]

I did not write erotica or watch porn on Christmas Day.

 

[awired50]

I never overeat during the holidays.