Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Wand3rlust]

I don't want a bacon sarnie and a can of coke.

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

I hate being naked

 

[BDA73]

I am not looking to masturbate with a lady friend

 

[EctoJohn]

I am a pro poker player.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I hate Wales

 

[SissyBrandi19]

I have an intense interest in mechanical...oh, what are those things called again? You know what I mean, right? They're about oh, that big...they're sometimes blue? Oh, c'mon, you know exactly what I'm...so yeah.

What?

 

[EctoJohn]

I have metal false teeth.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

I'm an asshole.

 

[LeSabreur]

My penis actually has its own social security number.

 

[EctoJohn]

I'm actually a woman.

 

[LeSabreur]

I knelt for 3 hours lapping at @EctoJohn's pussy.

 

[Jeanie99]

I can sing opra

 

[EctoJohn]

I can identify where I am in the United States by feel of the dirt against my feet alone.

 

[LeSabreur]

When I look up at the night sky the stars send me messages.

 

[Taegul]

My dick selfie thread over in AmPics has reached over 5 million views and gotten me laid dozens of times since I started it in July.

 

[Bigbutathletic]

I am a very respectable 6'2 inches tall

 

[Trubbycat]

People magazine says I’m the sexiest man alive

 

[EctoJohn]

I own a butcher shop that has specialty in-store made chicken sausages.

 

[LeSabreur]

When I participate in the annual naked bike parade I am required to have a defibrillator on the bike.

 

[Taegul]

I pick up roadkill and sell it to EctoJohn for his butcher shop. He makes fantastic mystery jerky.

 

[Trubbycat]

When I participate in the annual naked bike parade I am required to have a defibrillator on the bike.

I follow the ladies and sniff their seats when they're done.

 

[Bigbutathletic]

I never drank exactly 11 beers

 

[EctoJohn]

I live an exciting, thrilling, fulfilling life.

 

[latecomer91364]

I swore after that last lame season, that if Stranger Things did another season, I wouldn't watch it. Early reports are proving that my thinking was on point.

Woke bullshit now - foreshadowed by last season.

 

[EasyBrad59]

I am a time traveler and was sent from the future to investigate 21st century sexual trends