Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I absolutely love it that people are so excited for a date change that they are firing off fireworks 5 hours early!
 
My house is always the most popular for New Year's celebrations because my dick functions as a fireworks launcher. Unfortunately it only lasts for about 15 seconds and then the party is over. But it is the most impressive and inspiring 15 seconds you will ever experience in your lifetime guaranteed or my name isn't Jermontaine Pennyworth III.
 
I have erotic dreams about the woman who delivers our Amazon packages and when I told her she swept my legs out from under me, threw me over her shoulder and tossed me in the back of her van. I'm in here now, and I don't know where she's taking me. I'm not really sure that I'm in danger, but I might need help.
 
Back
Top