Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

I’m an oil baron from the 1890s and I somehow wound up here via some strange contraption at a world fair
 
Once a year I take a leave of absence from work to serve as a "dance host" for lonely widows on cruise ships.
 
My dad was the first man on the moon.
That'll teach him for trying to fix the gas cooker.
 
Big news, everyone! I probably shouldn't say anything and just wait for the official announcement on all the news channels, but I just can't wait...

I have been hand selected by President Trump to be the new interim president of Venezuela! They tell me it is just temporary....until the oil runs dry, apparently. But I'm super excited for this new chapter in my life. I'm busy packing right now and my plane leaves in the morning. I hope they have good internet there so I can keep posting on Lit. Make Venezuela Great Again. MVGA! Ok, one of my first acts will be to work on that slogan, but we'll get there!
 
I am Richard Feynman's love child. What would you like to know about quantum mechanics?
 
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