Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Wandering_Sen]

I do not run a discordian cabal centered around coffee and rubber ducks.

 

[EctoJohn]

I am an architect of mud brick homes.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

I'm a multimillionaire oil tycoon.

 

[LeSabreur]

Yeah, I have one of those megayachts but I don't advertise it.

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m an oil baron from the 1890s and I somehow wound up here via some strange contraption at a world fair

 

[Lustful_Eyes4u]

I teach people how to swim. The dog paddle is my specialty

 

[EctoJohn]

I invented the Chrysler Crossfire.

 

[Wandering_Sen]

I am on the verge of a breakthrough involving feline powered teleportation.

 

[LeSabreur]

Once a year I take a leave of absence from work to serve as a "dance host" for lonely widows on cruise ships.

 

[kreemi_pi]

I'm really happy

 

[snexxer]

My dad was the first man on the moon.
That'll teach him for trying to fix the gas cooker.

 

[LeSabreur]

Julie Andrews once gave me a hand job.

 

[Trubbycat]

I once gave Julie Andrews a hand job. She's got a BIG one.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I am a taste tester for a brewery

 

[Bloodandglitter]

I don't have a celebrity crush on Tim Roth. I mean, who's that?

 

[AllAmericanMale]

I'm an asshole.

 

[EctoJohn]

I know all there is to know about dark matter.

 

[Taegul]

I've had the chorus to the Hanson song MMMBop stuck in my head nonstop for the last 28 years.

 

[EctoJohn]

I sold my car because I lost the keys.

 

[Taegul]

Big news, everyone! I probably shouldn't say anything and just wait for the official announcement on all the news channels, but I just can't wait...

I have been hand selected by President Trump to be the new interim president of Venezuela! They tell me it is just temporary....until the oil runs dry, apparently. But I'm super excited for this new chapter in my life. I'm busy packing right now and my plane leaves in the morning. I hope they have good internet there so I can keep posting on Lit. Make Venezuela Great Again. MVGA! Ok, one of my first acts will be to work on that slogan, but we'll get there!

 

[LeSabreur]

I am Richard Feynman's love child. What would you like to know about quantum mechanics?

 

[mortis]

I completely understand quantum computing.

 

[hairball18]

I am immensely popular.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

I am not cold because I have been outside playing football in the snow

 

[LauraLO]

I taught Julie Andrews how to do hand jobs while singing