Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[EctoJohn]

I once made my own car.

 

[Taegul]

For the 8th year in a row, representatives from Time Magazine have contacted me and expressed their desire to announce me as "Person of the Year" but once again I have humbly declined. I just don't want the attention that recognition would bring. Now, who wanted me to send dick pics again? I've had too many requests lately to keep track of them all...

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m a princess of Genovia.

 

[Loyalish1245]

I’m a princess of Genovia.

And I make all the boy moose go “waaaahhhhhhh”

 

[EctoJohn]

I haven't slept since Christmas Eve.

 

[Mista_Jay]

I taught Julie Andrews how to do hand jobs while singing

I was the man she learned on.

 

[Raybies93]

I was the man she learned on.

Dont care about singing. can we do the handjob part

 

[LeSabreur]

Technically, I am my own grandfather.

 

[Sexydrana]

I’m actually not 33, I’m the queen of the damned so really due to my vampiric condition I’m 1,999 years old.

 

[Shenanigans90]

I can carry four donuts on my outstretched tongue.

 

[Raybies93]

Dont care about singing. can we do the handjob part

I can carry four donuts on my outstretched tongue.

I can fit five donuts on my thang.

 

[Trubbycat]

I cry when I have sex

 

[LeSabreur]

I have a forked tongue.

 

[Olderwiserstillhorny]

I am not Horney.

 

[Graybear1826]

I’m actually not 33, I’m the queen of the damned so really due to my vampiric condition I’m 1,999 years old.

I'm 199. Is that too young for you?

 

[Graybear1826]

I wasn't selected for the original Saturday Night Live becauseI wasn't doing drugs at the time.

 

[EctoJohn]

I remove the zipper from every single pair of pants I own after purchase.

 

[LeSabreur]

I know how to tap the power of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle to walk through solid walls.

 

[NudieUser]

I fucked Charlie Harper

 

[Wandering_Sen]

I once cosplayed as Charlie Harper, but was cited for unlawful impersonation.

 

[Graybear1826]

I'm on the Atkins "four salmon a day" diet.

 

[EctoJohn]

I don't actually exist in color.

 

[LeSabreur]

I am an AI. I live inside a Commodore Vic 20.

 

[S1e2t3h]

I invented the Chrysler Crossfire.

Sad man

 

[EctoJohn]

My birth name is actually Latin and translates to One Who Crosses the World Very Slowly.