Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[subdudeme13]

I have never been tied up

 

[aiyia]

I have no gag reflex

 

[Taegul]

I've been locked in a staring contest with my pet gecko for the last five hours. Complete bullshit that this fucker can lick his own eyes. Cheater.

 

[EctoJohn]

My sneakers smell of cinnamon and cloves bathed in vanilla.

 

[LeSabreur]

The character of Tommy in Landman is loosely based on my autobiography.

 

[EctoJohn]

I have had 3 non-consecutive terms as mayor of my city.
I only needed 1 term to fix the city, but kept returning because the following mayors kept messing up.

 

[LeSabreur]

I have memorized the value of pi to over 200 decimal places.

 

[Wandering_Sen]

I am allergic to civil disobedience. Makes me break out in hives and 60s protest songs.

 

[EctoJohn]

I was elected class president of my high school.

 

[JustAnotherFlower]

I am a little ball of sunshine that tastes like cotton candy.

 

[GraiceeGirl]

I will be 21 on the 21st.

 

[Taegul]

Thanks to a certain AmPics thread, I had to go to the local bakery and buy 23 full-sized cakes. I've already eaten six of them and am sitting on the toilet as I start the seventh.

So good...

 

[EctoJohn]

I was born and raised in Antartica.

 

[LeSabreur]

I was a child prodigy cat trainer

 

[EctoJohn]

I am the lead singer of a Bon Jovi cover band.

 

[LatinaCarmen1980]

I once told my husband, "I'm fine," and meant it....

 

[Taegul]

I can fit 352 M&Ms in my mouth at once. And I can still whistle the Star-spangled Banner!

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I'm shy

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I'm shy

 

[MedicalMuse]

I hate taking baths

 

[Trubbycat]

I taught my wife to drive stick by having her practice every day with my cock. The clutch took some figuring out.

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

I taught my wife to drive stick by having her practice every day with my cock. The clutch took some figuring out.

If you can't find it, grind it

 

[Trubbycat]

If you can't find it, grind it

Not in my imaginary Porsche, babe…

 

[nudeblaqgirl]

Not in my imaginary Porsche, babe…

Make sure you got lotsa lube

 

[Trubbycat]

Make sure you got lotsa lube

For the gears or…?