Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[fakingadulthood]

I am both the egg man and the walrus

 

[Esslemont]

I'm not getting my cock sucked tonight.

 

[Taegul]

I've given 381 lap dances to the poster below me.

Soon to be 382.

 

[BadAmy]

all my teeth are fake.

 

[Ezeerider]

And I have better hair

I can lie like Donald Trump, but with far greater frequency.

And that's the truth.

Don't believe me? Hah, get this:

While my orgasms are real, I fake my erections.

 

[alwaysaway]

I never procrastinate when I’m studying, and I also never ask for assignment extensions.

 

[sandybrooke]

I never masturbate

 

[SugarSpiceAndLace]

I once lost all of my fingers in a freak lawn mowing accident. Thankfully they grew back.

 

[hairball18]

I feel as good as I did when I was 20.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

1. I didn't rub one out this morning. I don't seem to have much of a sex drive anymore.

2. I certainly didn't cum while thinking about a Litster. There aren't really any I find appealing.

3. I absolutely would never inform the aforementioned nonexistent hot ass Litster that I was thinking about something to do with his dick and my mouth and some other stuff when I came. I mean, didn't come.

 

[TwoTaTango]

I am a Sommelier

Particularly of German whites , which I just learned from another post I made...

 

[Anastasia1999]

Particularly of German whites , which I just learned from another post I made...

Hahahaha!

I can tell how old a wine is by sniffing the cork

 

[Wand3rlust]

I am not a bit pissed.

 

[TwoTaTango]

Biting my Tongue

Hahahaha!

I can tell how old a wine is by sniffing the cork

I had to after that cork comment , Do they still use cork in Germany or have the German Whites now gone too screw on caps ....too Funny

 

[FranklyFrank]

I cannot imagine masturbating every single morning before I get out of bed.

 

[Anastasia1999]

I had to after that cork comment , Do they still use cork in Germany or have the German Whites now gone too screw on caps ....too Funny

You are right, most bottles are screw tops these days.

 

[Cyberbella]

I never fall asleep on the couch.

 

[Wand3rlust]

I am not bored.

 

[done_got_old]

I'm only 31.

 

[FranklyFrank]

I do not like to flirt at all!

 

[Cyberbella]

I do not like to flirt at all!

Right? Flirting is gross.

 

[FranklyFrank]

Right? Flirting is gross.

Flirting and having fun is not having fun at all!

 

[Cyberbella]

Flirting and having fun is not having fun at all!

Oh and oral sex is disgusting.

Plus men with beards yuck.

 

[takenmytime]

I am smart as a horse and hung like Einstien! Wait....

 

[Taegul]

I can't watch the original Star Wars movies because I find Chewbacca to be so erotic it becomes too distracting for me.