Tell Blatant Lies About....Yourself

[Deleted member 5521640]

You're brave.

https://thesource.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/fogle.jpg

I'm sure Jared is getting a regular foot-long where he's incarcerated

 

[sally_sparrow]

One time I gave a guy a blow job that included eating Funyuns off his dick after a game of ring toss

 

[SithLordSexyPants1]

one time I water skiing nude

 

[Taegul]

I had my testicles surgically replaced with 2 brass balls and they clank together when I walk.

 

[ydahecnot]

I bowl using balled-up armadillos

 

[4nk8]

I can sing the Japanese national anthem

 

[lanceGibs]

Ii can play a clit better than a piano

 

[Daisy_Love]

I found out the meaning of life!

 

[sally_sparrow]

My nickname in college was Squishy.

 

[lanceGibs]

I can fly with sparrows

 

[JerseyJade]

I've been studying witchcraft since Kindergarten, so I know exactly how to put a spell on those who piss me off.

 

[ydahecnot]

Reverse the spell that turned my arm into a tree branch!

I have birds perched on my arm

 

[Taegul]

I survived my final two years of college eating nothing but green M&Ms.

 

[HeavyBalls]

I feel good about myself.

 

[Taegul]

I'm not a porn star, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

With a porn star.

 

[Taegul]

I'm addicted to the vowels in Alphabet soup.

 

[LAHomedog]

I was the 5th Beatle.

 

[Grumpybollocks]

I was raised by native Americans. My name is really Dances with Difficulty

 

[Taegul]

I sell drugs on the side to support my own Tootsie Roll addiction.

 

[TheMrBurns]

I paid for university by ghost writing memoires for famous Canadian street performers.

 

[Lastingimpressions]

I'm a world record holder in ejaculation distance.

 

[Taegul]

I invented the shell-less vegan taco.

 

[harryss]

I'm hung like a horse.

 

[ydahecnot]

I was the last person to be seduced by Annie Sprinkles

 

[sally_sparrow]

I can play harmonica with my nose.